The Stanley Cup Finals start tomorrow!

Listen up, fellow hockey fans! The Vancouver Canucks will beat the Boston Bruins to win this year's Stanley Cup and here is why --

Every time the Olympics are held in Canada, the host city's NHL team wins the Stanley Cup the very next year. Here are the cold hard facts, my friends, as reported by the Canadian media.

Montreal hosted the 1976 Summer Olympics. The 1977 Stanley Cup champions? The Montreal Canadiens.

Calgary hosted the 1988 Winter Olympics. The 1989 Stanley Cup champions? The Calgary Flames.

Vancouver hosted the 2010 Winter Olympics. The 2011 Stanley Cup champions? Do the math. I rest my case.

Go Canucks go!

Why has Blogger been all screwed up lately?

Shoulda known cats were behind this somehow!

Meow Meow Meme

Hello. Her Royal Highness the cat here. My beautiful feline friends Miss Bella and Sele (pictured above), who blog with their human Wendy over at The Year of the Cats, tagged me last week with the Meow Meow Meme. I'm so excited to tell you all about my glorious SELF by answering these six questions!

1. Where do I like to hang out?

My favourite place in the whole world is my cat tree, which sits in the living room right in front of the big picture window. Six feet high, it is covered with brown carpeting which I have lovingly clawed to shreds over the years. It has three perches from which I may survey my queendom and a cubbyhole in which I can curl up and sleep. Here's a photo of me doing precisely that. Oops, my tail is hanging out!

2. Who is my kitty crush?

I have a real weakness for swashbuckling bad boys, I must admit. So of course my biggest kitty crush is Puss in Boots from the Shrek movies. And isn't it funny how he sounds just like that sexy human, Antonio Banderas? Small world, I guess.

3. What is my favourite scent?

My person has blogged before about my crazy addiction to the scent of mint (here, here and here, if you're curious). 'Nuff said. I love it!!!!!

4. What's my favourite TV show?

I love watching a good mystery on PBS's Mouseterpiece Theatre and the best detective of all is Purrlock Holmes! Like all cats, he is a genius.

5. What's my favourite movie?

I love Star Wars but it would be so much better with an all-feline cast, don't you think? And if cats were in charge, we would immediately kill and eat Jar Jar Binks. I don't think anyone would object to that.

6. What is my best piece of feline wisdom?

"How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterwards."

This is the motto by which all cats live. Our credo or raison d'être, if you prefer. I practice it as much and as often as I can.

And now, it's time to tag some other interwebz cats who either blog personally or feature prominently in their human's blog. They are all delightful cats and I encourage you to visit their home blogs:

Pişi and Squeak at their blog, Pişi & Squeak. These two certainly have their paws full with their Big Two-Legged One. Humans can be such a trial sometimes.

Dexter at his human's blog, Yellowdog Granny. Dexter and I had a fling once. He's the original swashbuckling bad boy. You voyeurs can read about it here.

Mildred at her human's blog, BugginWord. Mildred is an expert at stealing the show in the background of her human's ukulele videos.

Got Your Towel?

Today is Towel Day, when fans of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy carry towels around all day to honour its brilliant creator, Douglas Adams. This world-wide event was first held in 2001, two weeks after Adams's untimely death at the age of 49.

This is what the Guide has to say on the all-important subject of towels:

A towel . . . is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value -- you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini-raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it around your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you -- daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tins of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit, etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase which has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

Warning: Cute Overload!

Blogwise, I've got nuthin today. NUTHIN. So to distract you from that fact, here's some rainbow and unicorn cookies -- nom nom nom! Oh, and also a photo of a bunny and a deer to look at while you're eating your cookie. Enjoy!

It's the End of the World!

Well, those Fundamentalist Christian nutbars are at it again. Today will be the End of the World apparently -- the Rapture and Judgment Day. To mark this auspicious occasion, I present a wonderful old skit on this very topic, featuring the brilliant Peter Cook and the inimitable Rowan Atkinson. Enjoy!

Kittens -- Just Say No to Nip!

You Do the Math!

Math and science have never been my strong points. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a bit of humour at their expense. Along with cats, of course -- cats can make anything funny. And let's not forget pie -- mmmm, pie. It just makes the whole world better.

Three Freakin' Things

Thanks, Judy over at JudysPhotos, for tagging me last week with the Three Freakin' Things meme! I'll leave it up to each of you to figure out which answers are true and which are not.

3 places I go:

--Mars, for the intellectual stimulation of its great universities.

--Timbuktu, to get away from it all.

--Winnipeg. Just because.

3 crushes I have:

--Sarah Palin, that hawt bitch.

--Kirstie Alley, because big women ARE sexy, baby!

--And of course, Colin Firth. My one male fantasy.

3 smells I love:

--Bacon frying, yum!

--Creosote. It reminds me of my childhood.

--Napalm in the morning. It smells like VICTORY!

3 favourite TV shows:

--The Big Bang Theory. Love those crazy boys!

--Joel Osteen's TV Ministry. Save my soul, Joel!

--Mad Men. Don Draper, you charming bastard . . . .

3 favourite movies:

--Texas Chainsaw Massacre, for its cinematography.

--Don't Mess with The Zohan, for its whimsical fuckery.

--Little Miss Sunshine, for its insightful commentary on hard geopolitical truths.

3 recommendations:

--Buy my amazing product. It's better than a slap chop!

--Write me into your will. You won't be sorry. I'd make a great beneficiary.

--Send me money. I'll pray for you in return.

3 people whose Three Freakin' Things I'd like to read (a.k.a. "Tag! You're it!"):

--Melissa at Being Melissa

--Winter Slytherin at 'Cause Baby You're A Firework

--Midwinterain at Journey of a New Witch

3 things you don't know about me:

--I have cute toes.

--I never had any wisdom teeth because I exist on a higher evolutionary plane than ordinary humans.

--I secretly yearn to be a ninja.

3 bands I love:

--The Eurythmics because of Annie Lennox, that hawt butch.

--Lawrence Welk because of the champagne bubbles.

--The Beatles because who DOESN'T love them?

Skywalk Safety Decals

A skywalk which I often use has some of those stick-on bird decals scattered on its windows to prevent birds from flying into the glass. But not long ago I noticed that a couple of other flight safety decals had been added. WTF?

I guess this one must be to prevent John Travolta from flying into the window while piloting one of his private light planes.

And we're safe from any unfortunate accident with the Starship Enterprise too. Whew! That was close.

[Photos by Debra She Who Seeks]

Rex Murphy Eyes

. . . and Rex even more recently.

God knows, Rex Murphy has a face only his mother could love. But, as if to make up for it, his Irish ancestors have passed down to him a maximum dose of the silver-tongued gift of the gab. As a result, he is one of Canada's most ubiquitous political and social pundits. You can find him opining on TV (CBC's The National newscast), hosting on radio (CBC's national call-in show, Cross Canada Checkup) and palavering in print (the National Post newspaper).

And now, he has his own meme too. In the US, there's a popular meme where Steve Buscemi's eyes are photoshopped onto the faces of Hollywood stars. In Canada, some unknown wag has started photoshopping Rex Murphy's eyes onto the faces of Canadian politicians. You can check out the entire gallery for yourself at Canadian MPs with Rex Murphy's Eyes but here are my personal favourites --

Defence Minister Peter MacKay -- will you still be such a playa with the ladies now, big guy?

Everyone's favourite smokin' Cabinet minister, Bev Oda (this one's for you, Secnarf!)

Liberal MP Justin Trudeau -- not such a pretty boy now, are we?

Don't look so glum, Jack Layton -- you're Canada's new Leader of the Opposition! Where's that NDP joie de vivre?

Look how the newly elected Leader of the Green Party, Elizabeth May, is celebrating! Now there's a happy gal!

Scared About Life Without Oprah

The official countdown has begun to the END OF THE OPRAH SHOW (at least on national TV)! Noooooooooo!

[Maxine Lapiduss, you rock, sister! *wink*]

In all seriousness, I will miss Oprah. Sure, she can sometimes be superficial, silly or preachy, but she also often shines a light on some very serious issues. Certainly she deals with some things that otherwise never get much airplay or discussion on mainstream TV, such as the important role of spirituality (not religion) in a well-balanced life. She has used her life and immense wealth for good, not evil. And she has been a true friend to the LGBT community over the years too.

But will I now shell out extra money to subscribe to the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN)? Personally, no. But I suspect My Rare One might have a different opinion on that. She luuuuuvs her Oprah, big time.

Today We Honour ALL Moms!

[Cartoon by William Haefeli of The New Yorker]

It's World Labyrinth Day Today!

World Labyrinth Day is celebrated every year on the first Saturday of May. Held since 2009, this new event was created by The Labyrinth Society in order to celebrate labyrinths "as a symbol, a tool, a passion or a practice." Some ways to celebrate include: educating the public, hosting walks, building permanent or temporary labyrinths, creating labyrinth art, etc. As you may recall from a previous post, The Labyrinth Society also helped to create the popular World-Wide Labyrinth Locator.

This morning I will walk the Riverdale Labyrinth here in Edmonton. And this afternoon I may rake and tidy up our backyard labyrinth if the soil is now dry enough (the snow has only recently melted in that part of our yard).

My Rare One, the Artiste

About a year ago, My Rare One took up painting for the first time. She started with acrylics but then switched to oils at the behest of her teacher. I think she's doing marvelously well at it. This is her latest painting. The first photo doesn't really do it justice, but the second one with the detail of the doorway shows much better how she captured the sunlight pouring through it from inside the walled garden.

It reminds me of that classic children's book, The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, which was one of my favourites growing up.

This painting is now in my office at work so I can see it every day!

[Photos and Painting © My Rare One 2011]

My Terrorist [Repost]

The recent news of Osama bin Laden's demise got me thinking again about the time I was unwittingly acquainted with a terrorist. So I thought I'd repost my old blog item from February 2009 on that topic.

I once had a brush with an international terrorist in Winnipeg in the mid-1990s. No, it's true! Everyone shows up in The Peg sooner or later, you know.

Anyway, there was a very pleasant young Arabic or Pakistani guy who pumped gas at my neighbourhood gas station. He was good-looking, lovely to deal with and seemed to be genuinely engaged with his work and customers. I remember thinking, "Why can't more people be like him?"

Then one day I read an item in the Winnipeg Free Press about a local man who was arrested by American authorities at the border trying to sneak explosives into the States in the trunk of his car. The accompanying mug shot was none other than my friendly gas station attendant! Of course I recognized him immediately. It was so shocking!

The media didn't really make a big fuss about the story. This happened at least 5 or 6 years before 9/11 and we were all still blissfully ignorant of things like jihad, al-Qaida and sleeper cells. I certainly didn't grasp the full significance of the story until after 9/11.

I never saw any follow-up story about my terrorist, so I can only assume he was convicted and imprisoned. Who knows where he is today? Still in jail? Deported? Dead? I imagine him holed up in a cave somewhere with Osama bin Laden and saying "Well, at least we're not in Winnipeg!"

And Now, In Other News . . .

Federal Election Today!

Vote early and vote often, my Canuckian siblings! Canada expects every hoser to do their duty!

This evening I'll be glued to the CBC, hanging onto Peter Mansbridge's every word. I'm pretty sure Rex Murphy will be there too, that handsome silver-tongued devil. And can I also hope to see Chantal, My Chantal? I sure do luuuuuvs me some Chantal.

My Annual Beltane Snit

Every year at the beginning of May, I go into my annual Beltane snit. This is why.

The pronunciation of Celtic words is impossible to figure out just by looking at them. They are never pronounced the way they look. That's why you need to put a bit of effort into determining how to pronounce them correctly.

But it's a losing battle here in North America (and maybe even in Britain, for that matter). Every pagan I know pronounces Beltane exactly the way it looks (BEL-tane) instead of its correct pronunciation (BOWL-tan-a), which I learned years ago from The Magickal Year's pronunciation guide to Gaelic/Welsh mythological and pagan words.

But this will be my last Beltane snit. After many fruitless years of attempting to lead by example, I now concede that it is impossible to stand against this tide of popular mispronunciation. So I hereby throw in the towel and from now on I will celebrate BEL-tane like everyone else. It's just easier to go with the flow.

*heavy martyred sigh*