Monday, 17 February 2014

Trying My Hand at Writing a Legal Drama

Crown Prosecutor: If it please Your Lordship, this is a sad and tragic case. Debra She Who Seeks stands before you today accused of the offence of being willing -- nay, eager -- to wear, contrary to the law of good public taste, any or all of these outrageously tacky t-shirts as pictured recently on the internet:


I file as Exhibit "A" this incriminating photograph taken in June 2013 at the City of Hamilton in the Province of Ontario. In it you can quite clearly see that the accused publicly wore, in the presence of two or more witnesses, her favourite cat t-shirt of a similar kind and nature as the offending t-shirts in question.


The accused's criminal proclivities being self-evident, I submit therefore that you have no option but to convict the accused of bad fashion sense and questionable judgment. Milord, the Crown rests.

The Court: Counsel for the defence, you may present your case.

The Defence: We are in no position to offer any evidence in rebuttal, Milord. Res ipsa loquitur -- "the thing speaks for itself."

The Accused: Hey, WTF am I paying you for, asshole? I'm being railroaded here -- railroaded, I tellz ya!

The Court: Order! Order in the court! Guards, taser the accused!

Some time later, after the accused regains consciousness, the Court renders judgment:


35 comments:

Sunnybrook Farm said...

It may be that some other crime was committed and wearing the shirt was punishment for that offense.

Kestril Trueseeker said...

LOL, my daughter has one of those shirts with a corgi face on it.

BTW, I've nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger award http://kestrilsrhythmsandgroove.blogspot.com/2014/02/a-bit-o-sunshine.html

Jeanne said...

Now why on earth would someone NOT like those t-shirts? They're so trendy & fashionable! {{snicker}}

Pickleope Von Pickleope said...

Obviously this wasn't written while John Grisham was still alive otherwise, there would have been a heated argument with more shouting, way more gavel banging and you would have ended up going free. What's that? John Grisham is still alive? Huh. Well, maybe he'll contact you for the rights to this melodrama.

jadedj said...

Meow, meow, meow meow meow! And that's all I have to save regards the matter.

Vanessa Morgan said...

I live and breath cats, so wearing such a t-shirt would be like an extension of my personality. By the way, I'm already guilty of wearing handbags and rings that feature cats ;-)

DEZMOND said...

we shall get you out of the fashion jail, Debs, those shirts are delightful! Love the brown one with the bear or the dog, whatever it is :) I wouldn't wear them in public, but I'd love sleeping in them :)

Willym said...

Well thank god the fashion police didn't catch me with the t-shirt with the big sad-eyed daschie staring out from it.... I'd still be doing community service!

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

Tacky? Those shirts are pretty darn cool if you ask me.

And anyways, your face is not visible in the photo, so it could be anyone. That is definitely a crappy defense you have!

Linda Wildenstein said...

The shirts show a little defiance on your part to the policies set down by the Fashion Police but personally I think each and every one of the exhibits are of a fun and potentially smile inducing nature and so therefore the international court says.......do what ya wants honey.

mistress maddie said...

Honey, just hang it up! You know the fashion police and worst yet.the All Power Fashion Czar- Anna Wintour will let you have NO rest till there destroyed.

mxtodis123 said...

Nothing wrong with being yourself. Just watch. Those t-shirts will probably be the rage this summer.
Mary

Lois said...

Fabulous shirts on a wonderful person! That was a good day!!!

A Beer For The Shower said...

If wearing this is wrong, then I don't want to be right. What did my colorful pug-face shirt ever do to YOU?

Leeanna said...

I don't know Canadian Law, but I can bet you would have been put in front of the firing squad here.

If you want to get past the laws you have to have a t-shirt that says something like:
"I TRIED TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS...
NOW I HAVE MULTIPLE RESTRAINING
ORDERS"

Dawna said...

Lol!! birdie or horsey any day

JACKIESUE said...

have you seen the picture of the guy wearing a tshirt with his pet on the front and sitting next to him is the same ugly dog with his owner on the face of his tshirt..really freaky.

Jim said...

Love these t-shirts! No matter what the judicial system says!!

Guillaume said...

I have seen worse... And uglier.

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

Oh no... NOT THE STERN LOOK? Say it ain't so. LOL

G. B. Miller said...

At least you weren't given the comfy chair.

heartinhand said...

I could never judge you, I wear a plethora of concert t-shirts, much like a 15 year old boy would. It's kind of pitiful, but whatever! Fashion trashion! Rock out with your unicorn out!

Fundy Blue said...

This is hysterical, Debra! I love your cat shirt! After teaching and seeing what t-shirts some kids wear, yours is sweet and tame. I wanted to get one on the Big Island once that looked like it was burned by volcanic ash from Kīlauea. Terry side-tracked me, so I wouldn't buy it and embarrass circumspect him! Wear what you want ~ flaunt it!

Sparkless said...

Taste is all a matter of opinion so wear what you please. I especially like your cat shirt and will probably have to go buy one now that I know they exist. See how your good taste is spreading!

Sparkless said...

Oh, I forgot to ask why there are neat creases on your t-shirts. You don't iron those do you? That would disturb me more than the pictures on them cause then you'd have to go back to court for OCD tendencies. Either that or you could come iron some of my stuff, either is good with me.

DWei said...

I would wear that unicorn one. It's amazing.

I actually own a similar cat one that I got from China. It's great.

The Happy Whisk said...

I say they are fun and go you for wearing them. Cheers and Happy New Week.

PS: How were your pancakes?

Missy George said...

Love the cat...Where do you get those Tee shorts?? They are very cute..

Riot Kitty said...

Are those you and your rare one? Gorgeous!

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! Very funny Deb! Keep being you ;o) I haven't seen those t-shirts around in ages! Where do you get them from?

mrsduncanmahogany said...

LOL...stern look! Heh.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hi Riot Kitty -- In the photo, that's me in the cat t-shirt with Francie of A North End Journal blog in the pink and Lois of Mid Life Fibres blog in the plaid. My Rare One took the photo though.

Hi Magic Love Crow -- Alas, I don't own the other t-shirts. That photo is just from the internet.

Hi Sparkless -- I think those creases are because someone just took the t-shirts right out of the package (the photo is from the internet). And ironing? Moi? I haven't ironed anything in YEARS, darling. Another reason why the Fashion Police are after me.

Dexter Klemperer said...

Wow, those are creepy. I hope the stern look of disapproval wasn't too painful.

SUZY8-TRACK said...

I would wear the cat shirt...not so sure about the eagle and the unicorn shirts though...they probably warranted the stern look!

Birdie said...

I had an ex boyfriend that always wore those gawd-awful wolf shirts and I hated them. I guess I have an aversion to them!