Monday, 12 January 2015

Brassiere Purse

Ladies, do you ever carry things in your bra? I mean apart from The Girls. If I don't have a purse with me or have no pockets in my clothes, I will often carry my keys in my "brassiere purse." No big deal, right?

But then I saw this gif and my life changed.


Now I want a bazooka in my bra too! Wouldn't it be great? Imagine all the scenarios in which someone pisses you off and you could just whip that bazooka out of your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder and KABOOM!

Steal my parking space at the mall? Cut ahead of me in line? Block the grocery aisle with your cart?

Go ahead, punk.

Make.

My.

Day.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Legal Disclaimer -- No, no, no, no. Violence never solves anything. This post should not be taken as advocating the weaponization of brassieres. All disputes should be settled by peaceful means. Bras should only ever be used for good, not evil. And if it's cat-related good, then so much the better.


50 comments:

Mark said...

Nowadays they actually have bras that double as drinks pouches too with a straw that runs along the strap. The only downside being that as you drink your breasts get smaller and smaller.

Snap said...

YeeHaw!

Night Owl said...

LOL Debra! I love the video and the cat t-shirt, hilarious :-)! I never carry anything in my bra (except the obvious) but it does look handy, although hiding a large weapon in a bra is bad for your back I think!

Michael D'Agostino said...

The shorts I wear for footy umpiring can't hold a thing in them, so one time I tried sticking my car keys in my umderpants so that the key was in my pants and the locking remote hung over the other side between my pants and my shorts. Somewhere in the first quarter I realized it was gone, so I told the kids "If you see a car key on the field, let me know. After the game myself and two other officials scanned the field for half an hour and came up with nothing. It took me that long to realize that my key hadn't fallen OUT of my pants, it had fallen IN. It was nestled comfortably under my um...

Well, I couldn't bring myself to admit that to them, so I told them I'd get my Mum to pick me up and thanked them for their time.

mxtodis123 said...

Love the video with the cat. I used to carry my money in there. On hot, humid summer days it could get kind of messy.
Mary

Gia said...

Ha, nice! I used to put my phone in there, when it was just a flip phone. Now I have an iphone 6. Not sure it'll fit.

LL Cool Joe said...

I've whipped a few different weapons out of my boxers over the years, so go for it. ;)

Laurie M said...

oh my gosh that tshirt is so cute, and then the bra added, lol, nothing gets carried in my bra, it would fall right through!

JACKIESUE said...

love the tshirt..
I have a bazooka in my drawers..

DEZMOND said...

many a men would not be able to stop staring at that first GIF :)
And love the kitten shirt!

Mary said...

Lol! You should have been in the six item or less line! Or, shut UP! This is a LIBRARY!

Linda Wildenstein said...

I shall giggle all day at all my missed opportunities to weaponize the bra. Dang, shoulda thunked of it sooner. Oh the fun.
Oma Linda

Adam said...

the cat one is funny

Jeanne said...

Love the Cat! Hilarious! :o)
Isn't a bra the next best thing to a purse? Hubby always laugh when I pull something out of it - especially in public. And I think back to when I was young - how horrified people would have been if a woman had pulled something out of her bra decades ago.

Dixie@dcrelief said...

Hello Monday - hello kitty - I'll take the Kaboom, myself!

Jenn said...

Now THAT would've come in handy at the Tim's drive thru this morning...

mistress maddie said...

I work with a girl that has HUGE boobs. On any given day she has in her bra money, lipstick, keys, cell phone, her debt card and a roll of markdowns stickers.!!!! LORD knows what else. Its comical watching her find what she's looking for.

A Beer For The Shower said...

My wife often uses her bra to hold her phone. And mine. And snacks. I'm sure there's room for a bazooka. And let's not kid ourselves, violence solves EVERYTHING. Especially bazooka violence.

Joy Christi said...

hahahaha that is hilarious! I sometimes do, but not often when it's warm outside b/c BOOB SWEAT. I did, however, see a fantastic challenge on the Howard Stern show, in which a young man claimed she could hold an impressive amount of things under her breasts. She held a pencil, a frying pan, an iron and entire PACK of TEN VHS VCR tapes. I did not believe that until I saw the YouTube clip. She said started b/c of the amount of things she carried in her bra. She started with "MILK" which I still use today:
Money
ID
Lipstick
Keys
which are pretty much all you need when you're out and about. In Chicago, you do NOT want to carry a purse around and have to worry about when you're dancing and whatnot. So you put your MILK in your bra. Being a woman is hard.

e said...

Big lolz for the kitty with bra-sunglasses!

My girls are big so there's lots of capacity in the bra region. I've been known to tuck this or that in there. But, I'll tell you the best thing about it.

You know that if you have pearls you are supposed to wear them next to your skin periodically so that they don't dry out. Sometimes I tuck mine into my bra, right between the girls, so that they get plenty of skin action. I call it the secret pearl pocket. I told a friend of mine about that and she told her mom and you would have thought I had solved the question of cold fusion or something. She was a big fan of the secret pearl pocket...

ditchingthedog said...

Sometimes I put things in my bra if I am using the washroom. I once dropped my cell phone in a public toilet and learned the hard way.

Fundy Blue said...

Thanks for a great laugh this morning, Debra! I don't carry anything in my bra, but I do clip my Fitbit to it. Happy week to you!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I thought you would find this article different.

http://listverse.com/2015/01/11/10-great-books-that-were-not-appreciated-during-their-time/

Damn that Melville.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

Hahaha! This was hilarious! Imagine the look one someone's face if you pulled out a bazooka. Try to mug me, will you? Get a load of this...

Miss Val's Creations said...

Bras are quite handy. These are great!!! I love the bra over the cat.

Rosemary said...

I have never thought to put things in my bra apart from the usual.

Guillaume said...

Japanese cartoons can be quite weird.

Professor Chaos said...

I thought Lady Gaga was the only one with weaponized bra technology.

Jim said...

Don't be messin with a LOADED BRA!
This was your BEST!, Debra!
You girls have all the fun!!

Janie Junebug said...

I quite often see women pull money out of their bras. I have never owned a cash producing bra. I wonder where I can get one.

Love,
Janie

klahanie said...

Hey Debra,

How's it goin', eh?

A "brazooka", no less. You've given me some ideas for my moobs aka man boobs :)

Gary

greekwitch said...

I once tried it when i was young and i lost the money i tried to carry that way. Perhaps i am not as well endowed as i should be... But how cool it would be to carry abazooka there. I would be completely paranoid screaming at people "ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?".
On second thought just boobies on my bra is just fine.

Riot Kitty said...

That is insane! No, never. Because yuck.

strangelynaked.com said...

I agree with Joy, the boob sweat might clog up the works, and if you're trying to settle someone's hash, you don't want sweat gumming up the bazooka works.

Ron Troke said...

Will you stop it!
No wait!
Keep me laughing, pawlease!!

Optimistic Existentialist said...

LOL now I have TRULY seen everything.

Ol'Buzzard said...

What women carry in their bras are the Holy Grail to men. To finally gain access and then find car keys and folding would sort of take the magic away - for a few seconds.
the Ol'Buzzard

heartinhand said...

Girls are putting their cell phones in their bras and strange new cancers are developing because of it. True story,
I've gained so much weight, my boobs barely fit into my bras, never mind a bazooka!
I need to go bra shopping.

Magaly Guerrero said...

If I carried a weapon in my bra, it would probably be a bomb... a very tiny boom. *cough*

Leeanna said...

ahahahahaaahahahahaaaahahahaahaaaa OMG! I nearly fell out of my chair. Love the kitty "deal with it" meme. does look like he's wearing sun glasses.

Vanessa Morgan said...

Nope. Never carried anything in my bra before. Now I contemplate carrying sandwiches and cats with me that way. Do you think it might work? :)

Dr. Theda said...

Never would have expected a Rocket Launcher...!!!

The Happy Whisk said...

Yes, my iPod and sometimes a twenty and other times, I'll stick the phone in there and put it on speaker so I can cook and talk to my mom at the same time.

You asked, right?

Hermesmerized™ the duchessofH said...

I've tucked money, debit/credit card and a lipstick into my bra various times, when I've run to the store, or a friends house. Now that I think about it; I should remember to take my drivers licence with me next time.

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! You are the best woman!!! Big Hugs ;o)

Dexter Klemperer said...

I'm pretty sure they already have bazooka bras in Texas. Does this mean I can say to a woman, "Nice bazookas!" and she won't slap me?

Kestril Trueseeker said...

LOL, that gif and the resulting combo crack me up! I need to use that gif somewhere...it's too awesome not to!

Suzie Ridler said...

Bazooka Bra?! Order me one stat!

Francie M said...

Brassieres? Haven't heard that in 50 years. Anyway with the temp out there about 50 below today according to CBC, Debra, I defy you to pull anything out of your bra! :D

Robin Larkspur said...

If not a bazooka, perhaps a hammer.