Thursday, 20 July 2017

Manna From Heaven, Etc.

Hey, how about some religious food 'n drink jokes? Now before anyone gets all shirty about it, I promise to be as even-handed as I can!

First of all, belly on up to the salad bar, Christianity!









And next -- a toast to all you Mormons! I know, I know, this LOL is particularly off-base because you don't drink except for (non-alcoholic) "Mormon beer." So perhaps this is really for all you "Jack Mormons" out there! *


* If you haven't heard this term before, "Jack Mormons" are people who have left the church and now do forbidden things like drink alcohol (the nickname comes from Jack Daniels whiskey)

Finally, you atheist Pastafarians aren't going to be left off the buffet table this time!




42 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

RAMEN, girl!

these are all good!

DEZMOND said...

I do love it whenever someone is trashing church or religion :)

Mark said...

I didn't know Mormons couldn't drink. Here's me thinking you'd have to be pretty wasted to believe all that.

Bob Slatten said...

Communion on the go! For busy Catholics everywhere!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

made me laugh this morning!

Marie Smith said...

Lol. Catch up is my favourite!

Linda deV said...

Good ones!! Equal opportunity jabbing....I like it.

Susan said...

And to think I offended people when I wore my Praise the Lard t-shirt to the farmers market....good ones!

LL Cool Joe said...

Yesterday I was discussing with my partner why our church makes every one eat gluten free bread during the communion. Why can't the 2 people in the church who need it have their own so we eat the good stuff. :D See I'm so spiritual.

mistress maddie said...

DEBS your crazy girl! And the communion one? I have been saying that for years when friends say let's stop for one drink. HA!

Jono said...

My still slightly-too-large belly was wiggling on these. Thanks!

e said...

That prepackaged thing surely wasn't real... was it?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ e -- I'm assuming it was real but who knows? Given how communion in the traditional manner spreads germs like a sonovabitch, individually packaged communion actually makes a lot of sense.

Frank said...

Love the grilled cheese and the loaves and fishes...which reminds me, I'm hungry.

brewella deville said...

The body and blood of Christ, now in Lunchables form. Oscar Meyer is going straight to hell.

Rain said...

Love this...I had such a devilish giggle as I read these... :)

Blogoratti said...

The bread and fish one, yep sums up how life has become. The post made me chuckle indeed. Thanks for sharing.

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa on the first one!! :)

Leeanna Henderson said...

OMG! These are so good. I especially loved the last temptation cartoon and the beer cult. they made me laugh.

Miss Val's Creations said...

I laughed at the prepackaged communion. The last time I found myself in a church, the communion was funny to me. A bread tray was passed through with normal bread and gluten free bread. A Celiac friendly church! I love the witty beer too. We drink a wine called Seven Deadly Zins. It has a humorous label listing the sins on the back.

John M said...

I loved them all!

bill lisleman said...

I got great reactions by using the "Catch Up with Jesus" in a past post.
I find the first one the best.

Adam said...

Maybe Jesus was gay the whole time and was saying ah, men

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

HAHAHA! Loved them all. You share the craziest things! Good stuff :)

And Adam's comment made me laugh out loud!

Mitchell is Moving said...

Hilarious. My favorite? The first... No wait the second... No wait.

Anyway, I had no idea that pre-packaged communion wine and wafer is a real thing. Amazon is actually selling the body and blood of Christ... In bulk!

Missy George said...

Love the water cooler..Why didn't I think of that?? Perfect..Have a good weekend..

JACKIESUE said...

oooooooooooh those are good.

klahanie said...

Hey Debra!

Jesus Christ, that was fun! Yeah, let's go with one of the old ones, eh. Jesus Saves and Gretzky scores on the rebound...

Gary :)

Jim said...

'The last temptation of Christ'!! LOL After all he WAS human!!

AntiquityTravelers said...

ha! too funny!! I kinda NEED the watercooler .... and the CatchUp is hilarious ... but Utah beer is the best! I've never heard anyone else use that term "Jack Mormon" ... except for a group when I was younger. I had no idea it was a reference to Jack Daniels - now that makes sense!

HBF said...

THE POWER OF CRUST! Hahaha Love it. I didn't know about the origins of "Jack Mormon." Makes sense!

Magaly Guerrero said...

The last one made me shriek.

Rosemary said...

I like the pre-packaged communion - it is a wonder someone hasn't gone commercial with it - it's hygenic and everyone gets an equal share!

CraveCute said...

Pre packaged? Some great funnies here!

Fundy Blue said...

Thanks for a great laugh this afternoon, Debra!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Your post are always fun-filled but this one? It's one of your best and greatly appreciated. I'm still laughing at the Last Temptation of Christ. Lol.
Thank you!

A Beer For The Shower said...

These are all awesome. I don't know who Wasatch Brewery is, but they just earned two more customers.

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh Debra!!

Anne Johnson said...

Oh my bored gods, I am rolling over! All hail rotini pasta!

Lynn said...

I like that pre-packaged communion. :)

Guillaume said...

The FSM is so much more plausible than other deity.

Cheryl said...

Very funny! Each and every one is humorous. I think it's tricky to find religion based jokes that aren't offensive but these aren't. Just fun.