HRH Behind the Wheel

Her Royal Highness, my beloved cat, insists on driving the car whenever we go out to buy gushy food and kibble. She swears that she has a valid driver's licence but personally I've never seen it. However, I am sure she wouldn't lie to me about something like that.

Unfortunately, HRH is . . . hmmm, how can I put this? . . . a very aggressive driver. She tailgates, weaves in and out of traffic, leans on the horn constantly and keeps up a running barrage of abuse directed at other drivers.

When I implore her to calm down and take it easy, all I get from her is Major Attitude (or should I say Major Cattitude?) Sometimes I wonder if she's not high on catnip when she's behind the wheel . . . no, no, not even HRH would be that foolish.

And when I finally insist on taking over the driving and make her sit in the back seat, she keeps up her obnoxiousness unabated. If anything, it's worse because she tries to get me to do likewise!

I'm just dreading the day when we get pulled over by the police. HRH will undoubtedly try to claw her way out of the situation. Then we'll both end up in the hoosegow cooling our heels/paws (as the case may be).

Note to self -- remind my Rare One to keep bail money on hand at all times, just in case.