Tuesday 10 March 2020

A Truly Royal Palate


Hello, everyone.
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE CAT
here once again.

A couple of weeks ago, my LAUGHABLY MISGUIDED human
suggested that perhaps she should turn this website into
a FOOD BLOG, of all things.

Believe me when I say that the ONLY one around
THIS dump with any GOURMET food experience
is YOURS TRULY.


So WHERE and HOW did I acquire
my impressive CREDENTIALS, you ask?

I have learned MUCH from the following:

(1) my INTERNATIONAL travels, and


(2) my extensive, in-depth, PRIVATE studies and training.


The only creatures MORE UNQUALIFIED than my human
to write a food blog are these RIDICULOUS POSEURS --


Anyway, enough about such WANNABES.

C'EST MOI who is the QUEEN of the KITCHEN.

I do ALL the cooking around here.
AND the hunting, I mean, GROCERY shopping, too.


Yes, I have many, MANY reasons to CONGRATULATE myself
on my EXTRAORDINARY culinary and fine dining abilities.

TOO many to list here, really (*modest blush*).


Despite PUBLIC DEMAND, however, I am NOT
going to do a food blog on the internet.

There is simply no GLORY, FAME or FORTUNE in that, I'm afraid.

I'm setting my sights HIGHER.

MUCH higher.


EN GARDE, you so-called celebrity chefs.

My RISE TO POWER is about to commence!

BWA-HA-HA-HA!

[And oh yeah, here's a shout-out to Cal of Calvin's Canadian Cave of Cool for letting my talentless human use some of his captioned cat photos for this post. Hugs to The Baroness!]

43 comments:

  1. thank you, HRH, for this delightful post.

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  2. Those are some real purrr queens in here! Seriously.

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  3. LMAOOOOO
    Oh the kitty that watches too much Food Network!!
    Priceless.
    LOL

    XOXO

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  4. I think that if cats cooked, then they would not care whether judges liked their food or not.

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  5. I’d love a Cooking Cat show. I have a nephew who’s a chef. Everyone asks his mother if she was his inspiration. She says, “Yes. He learned when he was young that if he was going to survive he was going to have to learn to cook for himself. He couldn’t count on me for his nutrition.” She’s a worse cook than I am. I have a feeling Her Royal Highness learned for the same reason.

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  6. re gerbil-en-croute: I've often thought cat food manufacturers could boost sales by increasing their range to include flavours such as blackbird, thrush, mouse and robin.

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  7. Did HRH really travel with you?

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  8. hahaha

    your highness gave you tough competition with this one indeed dear Debra

    thank you for laughs ,after long laundry day it was needed post lol
    God bless you :)))

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  9. Our cats make it to the carpet every time.
    siiiiiiiigh

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  10. @ DEZMOND -- HRH usually travels on her own, in a private jet, with a large entourage of hangers-on. She doesn't want to be seen in public with me when she's abroad.

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  11. I had a feeling that Her Royal Highness was the one running this show. I mean kitchen.

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  12. Thunderbutt and I looove this post, friend D. Always, cat.

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  13. When I got to the meme with the eating too fast and puking on the carpet, I laughed so hard I cried. So, so true!

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  14. I once rented a house out in the country. Trust me, HRH could have hosted her show from there!
    --Jim

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  15. These are just too good. Pricessless in fact.

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  16. If any cat is going to be the Celebrity Cat Chef, it is YRH. Plenty of Glory and Fame in that! But, if you are going for Fortune, you'll need a robust Instagram page with unending content and corporate sponsors. Sorry, YRH, that's just how the gig works...

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  17. Way too cute but my fave was the dog photo.

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  18. Now the truth comes out. I would say Debs to lock her up from telling all your secrets...but how do you lock up a spirit?

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  19. Such a fun post that really made me laugh out loud! Hugs, RO

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  20. The garnish was a nice touch.

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  21. Oh my gosh, I loved the dog one follow me. So funny.

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  22. Lol. Cats faces can be so expressive!

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  23. HAHAHA! Thank goodness for you, HRH :)

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  24. Thanks for the giggles and guffaws!!!

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  25. My cat brings lots of dead mice on the porch.

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  26. And her am I, trying to train my cat NOT to puke on the carpet.

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  27. Oh Debra, I'm sorry to say, you're becoming one of those cat ladies! Of course me mixing different kinds of cat food so that mine will not just eat but actually enjoy her meal, has absolutely nothing to do with spoiling her.

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  28. The carpet-barf kitty looks a lot like the cat we had when I was little. It's nice to be reminded of our Tara. :)

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  29. Cooking Cats, eh? I hear they taste like chicken, but stringier.

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  30. Just passing! Just passing! :).
    Well Your Royal Highness..!
    If you ever do a 'food Blog'..then you must
    be on the menu first and foremost..! Yes!
    Why..? Why..? Because..you look lovely enough
    to eat..! :o). Bless!x

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  31. Love those cats. Especially the Food Network one

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  32. Love this post. And the photos.

    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

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  33. Our cats don't cook. They are just on the counter every time food is prepared to supervise, and give their approval or disapproval at our poor attempts.
    tha Ol'Buzzard

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  34. I want HRH to host that show (after she wins season 1 of course)! Think of the commentary!

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  35. The Demon Duo would be, oh so, happy to help out HRH in the kitchen. They are already honing their expertise with checking out the counter tops when anything is there.

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  36. Your Highness, you would have approved of our cat, Toby, who once ate the head of the gerbil we were pet-sitting over Christmas. (Even though it wasn't en croute.)

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  37. @ Liz Hinds -- omg, THAT would have been an awkward conversation with the gerbil's owner when they got home . . . .

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  38. Gerbil- en- croute....gotta love it..Great post..Thanks for the laughs..

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  39. how on earth do the photographers get cats to sit still in silly costumes is beyond me.

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  40. HRH, you are good!!! Keep on cooking! LOL!

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