Saturday, 18 April 2020

RELUCTANT Equal Time for Dogs


Hello, HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE CAT
here once again
so terribly, TERRIBLY soon.

My human advises me that NOT ALL OF YOU 
out there in the Blogosphere have CATS.

Some of you apparently have DOGS (*shudder*) 
for some UNKNOWN and UNFATHOMABLE reason.

My human says I MUST give EQUAL TIME 
to the SUFFERING OF DOGS during 
this period of COVID-19.

Okay . . . (*heavy martyred sigh*) . . .

FINE.




But are dogs REALLY suffering?

Quite frankly, I have SINCERE DOUBTS.

Unlike cats, dogs LOVE NOTHING MORE 
than being with their HUMANS 24/7. 

That's why dogs are DUMB.


And also unlike cats, dogs are
SO RIDICULOUSLY EASY TO PLEASE, 
the idiots.


Plus THEY can still go WALKIES with their humans
which is, like, their FAVOURITE ACTIVITY 
in WEIRDO DOG CULTURE.


But, as hopelessly STUPID as dogs are, 
HUMANS would nevertheless be WISE 
to EMULATE them. 

It WOULD, after all, be 
a MAJOR STEP UP for homo sapiens.





Yuck, I'm glad THIS POST is OVER. 

Now I can go back to pretending that 
DOGS DON'T EXIST.

43 comments:

  1. What about those who have llamas, coons or even hedgehogs?

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  2. That second one says it all. I feel ready to chew furniture sometimes!

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  3. don't worry, HRH, we love you above all other cats (and dogs)!

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  4. WHo.Let.The.Dogs.Out. Yer killin' me.

    And humans wearing muzzles!

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  5. We had a video board meeting yesterday, one of our board members left his dog on the chair while he took a break, the dog voted in favor of everything.

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  6. I must say your selection on DOGS is not up to your usual standards of reporting. It seems more than a bit biased and not really up to the level of cuteness your readers might expect. But thanks for trying!

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  7. WHO let the dogs out - funny!

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  8. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! tHE CONE!!!! Buster tried that with me, and I said Drop. The. Cone.

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  9. WHO let the dogs out! At last, a good reason for that earwormy song! I loved these so much.

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  10. "Heavy martyred sigh" oh really? These were all great I'm stealing all of them. I figure I have at least 4 more weeks of Wet Dog Wednesdays to show one a week. Stay safe and healthy, darlin.

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  11. I stealing a few of these myself. Dogs rule.

    Cat story. Our one adventure into cats started when I came home and a cat was sitting on the front porch. I opened the front door and the cat walked in like it owned the place. I gave it ample opportunity to leave. Nope, looks like we have a cat. (No dog at this time.)

    About a week later we had a cat and three kittens. Everyone in the house was thrilled. We had fun with the kittens. We found homes for two of them and decided to hang onto the third.

    About a year into cats, the young one ran away. Now were down to one cat that was basically an outdoor cat. We found her run over in the street. That was the end of our cat adventure.

    About a year after that, a friend of my sons' mention that they had a cat that they found about a year before. Looked a lot like ours. This was before chips so we just thought, oh well, at least we know he made it and he has a home.

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  12. I need one of those protective collars! And I'll be chewing furniture soon.

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  13. Just as HRH feared, this post has gone to the dogs.

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  14. That first one, that cat's face! So funny!!

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  15. Time to get off your high horse, Missy...unlike cats and dogs, the vast majority of humans don't crap indiscriminately on other people's lawns, flower beds or vegetable patches. And if food supply lines break during this pandemic, remember that house cats taste just like chicken and are easy to catch...

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  16. This is so funny! We notice way less barking in our neighborhood since the quarantine. All the dogs are being spoiled inside, getting tons of attention from their humans. I saw an awesome photo the other day of an animal shelter with no dogs left for adoption. The unexpected upsides to this pandemic! I totally get that meme of the dog and chewing furniture. This is getting tough. Our state's governor is talking the end of June to see everything back up and running! Ugh!

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  17. @ Tundra Bunny -- I will not DIGNIFY your HATE-FILLED TIRADE with a RESPONSE, except to say that you are now OFF MY CHRISTMAS CARD LIST!

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  18. @ HRH -- YOU have a Christmas card list?! That sounds really out of character for you....

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  19. No dog, no problem. Cat is becoming demanding though. Why don't I leave him!

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  20. The Hounds from Hell wish to thank her Highness for the equal time, she's very gracious.... for a cat!

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  21. Our yellow cat Ziggy grew up with dogs and now he sniff black cat Abner butt.
    Not impress one bit.
    Coffee is on

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  22. First ones the best for sure. Thank you YRH

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  23. I must say, I envy the emotional support that one dog is getting😍

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  24. Well, HRH didn't manage to hide her own bias. That first photo! And WHO let the dogs out!

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  25. Get along little doggies. At least during this minor hiatus from life, our doggies still play with a dozen bricks shy of a half load, and we love them just the same.

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  26. I know this is about dogs and all (and, the part about the butt sniffing is unsanitarily hilarious, isn't HRH? I mean, butt licking for self-cleaning purposes makes complete sense to every cat, but sniffing strangers' butts? No), but really captured my attention is to find out that you are married. I had no idea. That's a lucky cat!

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  27. OMG! Sit and stay! I love that!!

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  28. Thankyou HRH for your generosity..I have one of each..Lucky me..FYI..My cat sniffs my dogs butt when I bring her in..I always said she was part dog..

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  29. HAHA! So funny (well, maybe not as funny as cats :)

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  30. My dog Harper says to tell your cat to lump it.

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  31. Dogs rule.

    Cats, on the other hand, are heartless emperors.

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  32. I had never realized as a kid that who let the dogs out referred to ugly women.

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  33. I am laughing so hard I think I shed a tear.
    I needed this.

    XOXO

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  34. hahaha

    you made me laugh bad

    i don't have any of them still you made me relate to them so well
    thank you sooooooo much for lighting my day :)
    hugs !

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  35. Love the piece of dinosaur in the bottom of the deep freeze. That’s about right.

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  36. LOL! I love all of this! Especially the last part about humans! You're the best Debra! Big Hugs!

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  37. Thanks, HRH! I always enjoy your posts, although I'm going to have "WHO let the dogs out?" stuck in my head all day.

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  38. Sorry I'm late but had to say how great these are. We got to the bottom of our freezer, found 6 packs of frozen peas!!

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