I have never been even vaguely athletic.
Physical exercise bores me stiff.
But I have never been so inactive
as I have during this last year of
stay-at-home pandemic life.
Now that the snow and ice are gone and
warmer weather has started to arrive,
I realize that I must get off my ass
and get outside for some safe,
socially-distanced exercise.
NO, I won't be going to a gym!
They're still closed and quite rightly so.
And NO, I will not be jogging or running!
Jesus, that would kill me stone dead.
And THIS nonsense ain't
gonna happen either, pal.
I have to be realistic and start
by doing something very basic.
Very basic indeed.
I'm going to try to take a walk
around the block every day.
Wish me luck and perseverance!
I can relate to, and have appropriated, two or three of these. ROFLMAO! HYSTERICAL!
ReplyDeleteHahaha good luck!
ReplyDeleteI've discovered that I actually like to take walks. During the pandemic they've gone from an excuse to leave my desk to an actual welcome break in the day. I even run sometimes *shudder* I agree with Baby Yoda, though. Exercise does seem like a pyramid scheme! LOL
XOXO
I wish you nothing but luck, happiness and perseverance in your journey to good life.
ReplyDeleteTo use an old quote, "Life long and prosper!"
Oh and, the first 1,000 miles, or for Canada kilometres, are the toughest. After that, is all downhill from there.
Ha, I am first to comment. Hurrah!
ReplyDeleteLucky and I both pant like steam engines when we walk. Him because he is excited and straining n the leash. Me because I am old and fat. Inclines kill me. That is why walking on the grassland area has been good for me. If it is cold and rainy we stay home. Walk don't run. As soon as it gets warm I will be back to 5 am walks. Hot and cold is not for me. 20C year round would be awesome. No such luck
Round the block is fine, quite ambitious enough for starters.
ReplyDeleteFind someplace pleasant and take a nice walk, time for me to head to the swamp for my daily walk.
ReplyDeleteI’d like to change that last one to chocolate!
ReplyDeleteSort of related: my fitbit was a lemon.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate! I was a complete slot last year but got back to my daily walks in January, still going. You can do it! :)
ReplyDeleteWell, the brain has it right when it comes to jogging - being chased (with or without a long knife) - no. Stop running! I used to (back in my wayward youth) get up at 430AM to exercise - on purpose but not any more, thank the heavens. I'm hoping it's because I got smarter and not because I got lazier and older.
ReplyDeleteWell, it is some kind of pyramid scheme!!!
ReplyDeletePass the donuts.
more tim horton's for everyone!
ReplyDeleteHilarious and very true. And I do wish you luck and perseverance -- but you are wise to start slowly and not overdo it at first.
ReplyDeleteI engage in vigorous walking several times a day -- that is, I get up and go to the refrigerator for another beer.
(Hey, I live in the United States. Even the coronaviruses here are flabby and out-of-shape.)
Uh oh. I am one of those who wake up in the morning to walk to the ridge and watch the sun rise. But I have an incredible view to encourage me.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy.
Do you think it's our lizard brains kicking our sense of self preservation into overdrive? Telling us,"Stay inside the cave,idiot, it's dangerous out there!" You know how much I love to hike, and yet this year my drive to hike basically disappeared. I love it, miss it, and yet I have to force myself (or let others shame me) to get out at least once a week for a leisurely walk.
ReplyDeleteIs there a donut shop around the corner. If so, that's a promise easily kept. I LOVE exercise. Seriously. But I've had so many injuries during this pandemic that I've been off my feet more than I've been on them. These memes are all excellent. SG will love them. He feels the same way about exercise as you do. He goes for a half-hour walk (round-trip) and gets two scoops of ice cream on the way back. It could be worse. There's an ice cream shop right next door.
ReplyDeleteIt is not my favorite thing, but I trudge along working out at 3-4x a week.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to be one of those old people who groan while barely moving or are bent at half-mast 24/7.
GOOD LUCK!!
Bwahahahahahahaa!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know the other day I was sitting on my sofa looking out the window at all the walkers and joggers, and people doing things around their house, and I thought I should really get up and doing something, like go refill my gin and tonic.
If I didn't have to walk Mollie three times a day, I'd be in trouble..That's the extent of my exercise these days..
ReplyDeleteI find good tunes in the background are helpful for exercising, and if that doesn't work there's always a cattle prod.
ReplyDeleteI've been collecting a few memes like these for a post also. I've got the second one but none of the others. And I'm definitely going to have to scratch my ass more.
ReplyDeleteExercise is a dirty, nasty, bloated 4 letter word!!
ReplyDeleteExperts always say to start small with a new exercise regimen, so eat only Tim Bits!
ReplyDeleteI thought you were a deadly Tai chi master? Are you not capable of slicing people open with fans in slow motion?
ReplyDeleteExercise is worse than a pyramid scheme. It's addictive like fentanyl. I don't enjoy it but if I don't get at least a little every day I go into withdrawal.
Okay I carry two five kilo dogs up and down a flight of 19 steps at least 5 times EACH a day - that must count for something? Well actually it does - for me being winded at the end of each walk!
ReplyDelete@ Old Lurker -- Alas, my tai chi group stopped meeting over a year ago due to the pandemic. I miss it terribly, but not enough to actually keep on doing tai chi by myself at home (see above post: SLUG LIFE). I have never, ever found exercise addictive in the slightest.
ReplyDeleteI agree - the only reason a person should run is if one is running for his/her life. I don't feel exercise is normal. :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck Deb! You'll do it! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI'm not much on donuts, but the fritter and the croissants look mighty good.
ReplyDeleteI walk and I swim, that’s my exercise. And I do those because I enjoy them. If I had to go to the gym, or jog, I’d never exercise at all!
ReplyDeleteMy job's pretty physical at times, so I count that as exercise. But before I got it, I just went on long walks, and still do. They haven't closed the parks where I live, so I can still go out. But running? For some reason, I find running kind of nerve-wracking.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with that. I'll help you with the plain sugar-dusted one if you like. (I am a simple doughnut girl.)
ReplyDeleteI literally laughed out loud about the tour of the gym. I remember when I went to the gym. Now I'm winded climbing up a flight of stairs. Maybe I need to join you on your walks. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteElsie
It helps to set a goal. Park your car one blocks away from an Ice Cream Shop. Walk to the shop - reward yourself with an ice cream - walk back to the car. Once you feel you can increase your distance - park two blocks away and reward your self with two scoops...etc.
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
I'll take the last one every time :-) I used to go to a gym regularly, but nowadays I enjoy walking with the dog.
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck and perseverance! I wish those for myself, too... so far the wishing isn't enough.
ReplyDeleteYesterday my watch chimed with the exciting news that I'd hit my "stand" goal for the day, so I looked at my steps to see how far I'd walked. 1.49 miles!
ReplyDeleteI worked from home yesterday...all of that distance was due to just two things:
office->20 steps to kitchen for coffee and back.
office -> 25 steps to bathroom to release coffee and back.
Either my house is a LOT larger than I think it is or my watch hast taken to lying to me in a desperate attempt to make me healthier :-)
Can't wait to pick up my new glasses at the optometrist's shop, because it's around the corner from the Best Doughnut Shop on the Planet. Any day now someone will call and tell me my glasses are ready.
ReplyDeleteWalking Franklin makes him so happy. If I didn't love him so much, I'd never move.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
change is tough no matter what it is.
ReplyDeletewearing the masks for over a year has kicked up my asthma.I wheeze just going to the bathroom..getting into bed ..exercising can kiss my ass.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA! Totally me this past year!
ReplyDeleteI need to get off my arse and start doing something. I think I'll walk to the pub.
ReplyDeletehappy warm days and happy spring my friend :)
ReplyDeleteand happy walking yes!
walk is must , see i have yard to walk and i still keep walking because to walk or exercise you need "will power" than energy :)
hugs and best of luck !
You can do it. Walking fab exercise.
ReplyDeletehahahaha...
ReplyDeletei am still laughing ,you are super funny and you rock indeed :)
oh i loved this absolutely ,each made me laugh lol lots of lack of determination i am smelling here :)
for me only one thing matters and that is " will power" rest is secondary :) once you are determined all is easy and possible believe me .