Hello, my adoring minions and sweet stalker-ish fans!
It is I, HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE CAT,
here once again to
wring my paws in DESPAIR
over the state of my Family.
Yes, THAT Family of which I am a well-loved member.
Alright, so my cousin Betty Windsor HAS always hated me
but she is VERY much the exception.
Everyone else adores, SIMPLY ADORES, me!
Like my darling Harry and his beautiful wife Meghan,
for whom I did some fundraising in the past
as they broke away from the clutches of the Royal Family.
Their recent, shocking interview with Oprah shows that
the Royal Family has learned nothing, NOTHING,
from the UTTER FIASCO that was
Prince Charles' and Princess Diana's marriage.
Still NO training or mentorship for young spouses joining the Family.
NO mental or emotional support for coping with Royal Life.
NO immediate and sharp rebukes of the
absolutely disgraceful RACISM propagated by the
British tabloid media against Meghan.
When, OH WHEN, will the Palace LEARN?
I feel for Meghan so much because I. too,
have often been targeted by those tabloid rags.
They hate my guts because I am also beautiful and talented.
There is no low to which they will not sink to harass and bully me!
Those dastardly tabloids even
QUESTION my Royal Credentials!
Can you imagine?
Oh, the unspeakable gall of those gutter journalists!
Just look at this LATEST LIBEL against me!
I shall LAWYER UP immediately!!!!!
Ah, Your Royal Highness, I knew you'd understand. My heart is with you.
ReplyDeleteThose tabloids are NOT flattering. But that's the price one pays for being royalty. Not sure Harry and Meghan going to Oprah was the best option. But I know nothing.
ReplyDeleteYour so right HRH...Id sue!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBesides those corgis have nothing on you except your plumpness!!!!
LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteHRH always has her paw on the pulse of the nation! Lol.
ReplyDeleteKitties Rule, Long Life the Cat
ReplyDelete#IStandWithHRHTheCat
ReplyDeleteI’ve been waiting for Her Highness’s valued opinion on this matter. I’ve not been disappointed.
ReplyDeleteHello Debra, I'm living under a rock here so I don't even know what this royal scandal is about, or why they went on Oprah.
ReplyDelete--Jim
THE NERVE of the paparazzi defaming you! may they die 1000 deaths!
ReplyDeleteyour cousin betty will not change, but hopefully william and george will put things to rights. I have no hope for charles and the horse face.
HRH, as always, is right.
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe what the tabloids have done!
I watched the Meghan and Prince Hot Ginge interview. That cat is out of the bag!
XOXO
I had a feeling it was time for HRH to speak out about the atrocities of the Royals. Lawyer up Better!
ReplyDelete"When, OH WHEN, will the Palace LEARN?"
ReplyDeleteNever.
Very good. Harry and Meghan sure got a raw deal from the Royal Family, just like Diana. I am glad they are pulling away. And William can GFH.
ReplyDeleteThe British monarchy has outlived its usefulness as a producer of powerless figureheads. When QE2 and Philip are dead, abolish the whole works. It's time they stopped being parasites on the public purse of Britain and Commonwealth nations -- they can live off their vast personal fortunes or get real jobs and pay for their security details themselves. I have no sympathy for Meghan, a third-rate actress approaching 40, who thought she wouldn't have to lift a manicured finger for the rest of her life by marrying Prince Harry. Does anyone who watched her play acting on the Oprah interview believe she actually cleans up chicken shit in her new life? Puhleese.
ReplyDeleteWhile the British tabloid press is a vicious industry devoid of worth, Meghan and Harry are using the exact same "innuendo as evidence" method with Oprah et al. Shame on them all and good riddance!
HRH: if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem! Bite me.
@ Tundra Bunny -- You goddamn BOLSHEVIK! Your SCURRILOUS comments about my darling Harry and beautiful Meghan WOUND ME TO THE CORE. Although I do agree with you about the British tabloid industry. But still, I'll BITE YOU BACK!
ReplyDeleteWith what, HRH? You're so damned old now, I'd be surprised if you had a tooth left in your head!
ReplyDeleteMy my how the royal fur flies.
ReplyDelete@ Tundra Bunny -- Don't you WORRY, I've still got enough teeth left to take a BIG BITE out of your sorry ass, girlie!
ReplyDelete@ Her Royal Highness and @ Tundra Bunny -- Now, now, nobody is going to bite anyone else's ass, okay? Can't we all just get along? Let's sing a few choruses of "Kumbaya," shall we?
ReplyDeleteIt was quite disturbing to learn the details
ReplyDeleteIf only they'd listened to you...
ReplyDeleteThis post made me giggle so much! I haven't watched the royal interview (do we still call them royals? I don't know) but I loved the cat's take on it all! :)
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a good weekend :)
Away From The Blue
:) for your defense of M & H.
ReplyDeleteRFOL!!!
ReplyDeleteThe beautiful and talented always suffer the most. That's why my life is so hard. tee-hee
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I wrote this in the comment section of another blog and I'll repeat and expand on it somewhat here. Royalty is all about the bloodlines, and the perks that come with having the proper blood (such as owning a nation-state), so should it be any surprise to anyone that racism should end up as part of the mix? It's outrageous when a Donald Trump is racist because the United States is officially (since the Civil War, and more recently, the Civil Rights Movement) a color-blind democracy that had an African-American president less than a decade ago. But why express outrage about an institution--the monarchy--that was never about civil rights to begin with? Get rid of it if need be, but stop pretending it's something that it's not.
ReplyDeleteDid someone actually watch an Oprah interview? Does someone care about or relate to the royal soap opera? Do you remember how soap operas work? Swap the bad guys at intervals to keep the audience watching. It is better to tend one's garden.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how that killer kitten is coming on.
ReplyDeleteTo HRH: the moment you put on that tiara, you became a tasty morsel for the pirahna paparazzi and tasteless tabloid tattle-tales.
ReplyDelete@ Cynthia -- Oh my goodness yes, what you say is absolutely true (*heavy martyred sigh*)
ReplyDeleteFat cat owns 23 older women - LOL that's a funny headline
ReplyDeleteI was hoping we would get the inside scoop from YRH! Please tell Betty that she'd better rein in her brood and her staff. Things are getting altogether too public. It's an improvement over Andy, however...
ReplyDeletepuuuuuuuuuuuuuufect
ReplyDeleteoh i am so proud of you RH you are fighter spirit indeed haha
ReplyDeleteHello Your Highness. I have a dilemma here because I am an ardent Royalist, I love cats, I like Harry but I’m no fan of Meghan, I think she was a precious little princess before she met Harry and expected us Brits to worship at her feet. And we don’t know what goes on behind those royal doors. I do agree that the tabloid rags are toxic :-)
ReplyDelete@ Polly -- In the spirit of KUMBAYA which my human has DIRECTED me to adopt, I FORGIVE you for your views about Meghan.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so fed up with the lot of them.
ReplyDeleteSuch Bustopher Jones cats !
ReplyDeleteno winners will come from that battle.
ReplyDeleteI love ya, HRH!!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteThank you HRH :-)
ReplyDeleteHRH The Cat seems to have things under better control than her distant relations!
ReplyDeleteTake them to the cleaners, HRH! We've got your back.
ReplyDeleteHail Betty :) Love from this cat and her cat Theo Thunderbutt.
ReplyDelete