Dating Advice From Your Life Coach

Hello, my beloved clients and soon-to-be clients,

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS the LIFE COACH here.

Ignore the preceding meme.

It is wrong, simply WRONG.

Today's advice is for all you 

SINGLETONS out there.

Before you can have a relationship, 

you have to FIND someone to date. 

And that's EASY PEASY with my 

HANDY DANDY advice 

and cute rhymes!

Okay, now, let me be BRUTALLY CLEAR.

This is NOT how you find someone to date --

You gotta get out there and 

mingle, people, MINGLE!

Don't know how?

Here's some OPTIONS!

(1) Get friends, family 

and complete strangers 

to SET YOU UP!

(2) Hang around your local DIVORCE COURT!

PRO TIP -- Try to look 

fetching and non-stalkerish

while doing so.

(3) And, of course, in our modern times,

sign up on DATING APPS!

When you DO snag the interest of

some poor unsuspecting bastard,

FLIRT like your love life depends on it.

IT DOES!

If you manage to fool them long enough 

to actually get a real date,

be sure to apply 

PROPER DATING ETIQUETTE. 

PRO TIP -- Avoid these pitfalls!

To conclude, here's a

TESTIMONIAL 

from one of my many, 

MANY satisfied clients --

Follow my advice and

 

I GUARANTEE that

SUCCESS and HAPPINESS

will be yours! *

*Absolutely No Refunds.