Greetings, my MANY devoted followers.
I, HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE CAT,
am here again to HELP you with TIMELY ADVICE.
Do you REALLY want another
DULL, BORING Christmas?
OF COURSE YOU DON'T!
Follow my TIPS to inject some
SURE-FIRE EXCITEMENT
into the holiday!
First, try JAZZING UP
your decorations!
Next, don't be afraid to go RETRO
with your decorations, entertaining and gifts!
LOADS OF FUN AND NOSTALGIA!
As you can see,
THOUGHTFULNESS IS KEY
for a successful Christmas!
My tips are GUARANTEED
to improve ANYONE'S holiday!
NO NEED to THANK me!
JUST ENJOY!
So Many Great Ideas. My father bought my mother one of those floor scrubbers, and lived to tell about it. Either true love, or a bad shot.
ReplyDeleteA scale!!!!!!! Nothing says Merry Christmas like a scale, you fat ass.
ReplyDeleteThat Dragon Wreath is amazing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs this morning:)
ReplyDeleteOh, now I want one of those statues of Mitch McConnell as a hatchling.
ReplyDeleteThat ash tray filled with the pretzel sticks is too close to my memory of cigarettes! The worst thing- when someone left a cigarette burning with that smoke curling right up into my nostrils and into my lungs. My mother was one of 8 kids and ALL of them smoked. At family gatherings, it looked like the house was on fire. I went outside a LOT!! Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteYah, Kay G. (short for cagey?😉), I also had a visceral reaction to the ashtray! Breathing the smoke, me and my clothes smelling like smoke, being forced to kiss heavy smokers "because she's your aunt and it's Christmas!" 🤢 But, mostly, having to look at nasty ashtrays next to my food!!🤮 The one good thing was...it kept me from becoming a smoker!! 😃
DeleteOh, HRH, you're slipping in your dotage.... no ptomaine turkey stuffed with salmonella cantaloupe chunks? The asbestos snow was a nice touch tho'!
ReplyDeleteMeowy Catmas to you too, HRH!
Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteOh kitty mayhem!
And that ashtray? I do want one of those for the next party I attend!
XOXO
Oh, yes, the death wish of giving a work tool as a present. An iron would have been even more dangerous but the shape of the injury might have been more obvious to the coroner.
ReplyDeleteI love the ashtray! That would be perfect for a retro themed holiday party!
ReplyDeleteGeez, Louise ... I love them all!
ReplyDeleteHi Debra, this is just wonderful! Good to see HRH up to her usual antics! Thanks for stopping in my blog and leaving a comment. Try as I might I am unable to sign into my own blog to make answer replies. It tells me to sign in and then when I try it says I can't sign in and it is an endless loop. I've tried the blogger fixes that have been suggested but nothing works. Now I understand why so many bloggers are leaving! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! You brightened my day! Diane & Guy
ReplyDeleteAnd, again, so many good ones. The pretzels. The cat and the cookies. $15.98 for 12" sounds like a bargain. But, oh, the vacuum cleaner!
ReplyDeleteLots of bloggers post holiday gift ideas, Debra, but yours is the only really practical guide. By the way, my mother had one of those Hoover floor scrubbers (a slightly later model) and she got some good use out of it. I don't remember if she had clothing to match it, however. Today Bissell has taken over that market, but kept the green color.
ReplyDelete--Jim
Thanks YRH The Cat for some true LOLZ! Those pretzel sticks looked real! The dragon wreath was amazing, and the pornsettias? Cheap at the price!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Monday laffs...
E
Take one of those pretzel cigarettes, go outside in the cold, puff on it and blow. What will look like smoke will come out of your mouth. That's how it worked with (the now-defunct) candy cigarettes when I was a kid.
ReplyDeleteLove that tree in a clothespin.
ReplyDeleteThe vacuum machine gift meme made me giggle
ReplyDeleteBrilliant ideas for a very merry Christmas lol
ReplyDeleteMight have to give a few a go myself 😉
Oh the Frozen stuff.. poor child.
ReplyDeleteThat Dragon wreath is astonishing! [Fry shut up and take my money.gif]
ReplyDeleteThe Mrs and I treated ourselves our first Christmas together and bought us a vacuum cleaner. We even named it, though now I no longer remember it's name...
Yes we were poor! Her birthday gift to me the next year was a big stainless steel stockpot (nicknamed 'The Methodist Pot' because it's big enough for a methodist potluck :-) that has served us well for nearly 40 years now
I wonder how many boxes of asbestos snow are still hanging around in grandmas basement?
ReplyDeletehahahhahhhhhaaa---I needed a good laugh today and found it here. Love the asbestos snow...who wouldn't love that?! Ad the cigarettes. The scale is something my husband would buy for me for a Christmas present...no joke. lol.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful Christmas, my friend- xo Diana
Oh sweetheart, I will grumble and complain about Christmas for as long as I have breath. You think you have a bad scenario? Try doing it in Utah where I live. Maybe if you have seen a Hallmark Movie, you will have a notion of this Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI think of it as that time of year when the Christians call truce and exchange tech gifts. Because I am so uniquely colorful and I know how to clean a toilet, I get cookies.
I am not the big fan of Christmas. I want to hear what the Drummer Boy said.
Once a salesman at work told me about the Kitchen Aide he's bought his wife for their upcoming anniversary. I advised him to put a very expensive string of pearls in the bowl for her to find. He thanked me later for "saving his marriage."
ReplyDelete@ Joanne Noragon -- That is a GREAT story, lol!
ReplyDeleteThese are great, I love the dragon wreath but feel sorry for the kid who wanted Frozen stuff.
ReplyDeletehahaha...these are great. i luv the cigarettes and the clothespin tree.
ReplyDeleteLove the clothespin tree...I guess I've gotten my share of appliances over the year...I guess they mean well..
ReplyDeleteLove the wreath ideas though I would probably have complaints from my neighbours if I copied them!
ReplyDeleteThe frozen girl is so very sad. I felt sorry for her!
LOVE z post!!!!
ReplyDeleteWonderful advice, HRH! Love the green dragon and the ashtray especially.
ReplyDeleteThe hoover. Just perfect.
ReplyDeleteMost days boring is good.
ReplyDeleteOmg those turtle-babies
ReplyDeleteDragon wreath, dragon wreath!
ReplyDeleteHee hee - Pornsettias and cigarette pretzels say it all!
ReplyDeleteWhen times are tight, practical Christmas gifts are ok, but they must be agreed upon in advance.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for those wonderful Christmas memes. I am saving the Addams family one.
Oh man that pretzel ashtray gave me a flashback to my Aunt Carol. That is how it looked. I liked her but I was only 5 years old. I think they were right, no way could I understand what they were talking about.
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks for the laughs and may you and your loved ones have an amazing holiday!
ReplyDeleteNo wonder those flowers are so popular
ReplyDeleteOK, I really want that dragon wreath though! LOL, and I can think of a few people who deserve the nightmare fuel turtles. :D
ReplyDelete