Recently I watched the first official home game
of the National Hockey League's newest franchise,
the SEATTLE KRAKEN.
ONE player in particular
caught my attention
IMMEDIATELY --
BRANDON TANEV (#13),
obtained just this summer
in the Expansion Draft
from the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Can you see WHY he is
such an attention grabber?
BE STILL, MY HEART!
Yes, it's that magnificent
HOCKEY HAIR aka MULLET!
Judging by his official player photos
from 2015 to 2021, Tanev
started off as a clean-cut guy, but
SOMETHING OBVIOUSLY SNAPPED
a couple of years ago in Pittsburgh --
Young Brandon seems to be a
GOOD, SCRAPPY player.
And he's NOT AFRAID
to wear NUMBER 13,
which is a point in his favour.
In this next gif, his CONFUSED LOOK
of STUNNED INNOCENCE
can ONLY mean he was about to get a
WELL-DESERVED PENALTY.
And he's such a SWEET KID too --
here he is sharing words of
PRAISE and ENCOURAGEMENT
with the opposing team.
BUT . . . can he hold his own
in a knock-down, drag-out
HOCKEY FIGHT?
He must PROVE himself to me in that regard
in order to oust the current reigning
HOCKEY HAIR GOD from my heart,
Mark Stone of the Vegas Golden Knights --
WHAT?
I'm a simple Canadian girl
with simple Canadian tastes.
A sweaty mullet and
a good hockey fight --
that's ALL I ask from Life.
DON'T JUDGE ME.
Those eyes, and the hair. He looks better with the hair.
ReplyDeleteHey, that doesn’t look like a mullet. It just looks like long hair. But what a sweet guy. I wonder, Does he kiss his mother with that mouth?
ReplyDeleteI’m not Canadian (although that IS the better part of North America), so I won’t be struck dead for saying this: I’m not a fan of hockey. Too violent for my sensibilities.
Well, I'm not a simple Canadian girl and I can enjoy a good mullet, too. Especially if it's a hunky hockey player who is sporting the haircut.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes.
XOXO
hahahaha...i really enjoyed this post! and yeah, pittsburgh can do that to you!
ReplyDeleteI have no comment about this new team, as I don't think I've seen this covered to any great extent here. But, I wish them well.
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOO don't do it!!!! No mullets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThere right there with CROCS!
@ Moving with Mitchell -- Technically, I think you're right about the mullet. And yes, hockey is violent but in its defence, it is much less violent than 30-40 years ago. For example, teams no longer hire goons or enforcers whose sole job is to fight on the ice.
ReplyDeleteHello Debra, Don't these hockey players get paid enough to afford haircuts?
ReplyDelete--Jim
I'm thinking we don't do ice hockey here - ice would probably melt. Still #13 is a cutie. Hope he stays that way.
ReplyDeleteLong dark hair, intense dark eyes and an aura of strength, Im jello!
ReplyDeleteThankfully age has sidelined my game.
I'm a simple Canadian girl too with simple tastes and I say "No Way" to sweaty mullets and ZZ Top beards! Long hair and a little stubble on a handsome hockey player can still make me a little weak in the knees, but the gold standard litmus test is still whether he can give as good as he gets in a brawl on the ice!
ReplyDeleteForty years ago, it was common to hear guys at school complaining that they'd gone to a fight and a hockey game broke out. The age of goons and enforcers may be over, but it lingers in Canadian DNA....
I thought you were going to trash our team, so thank you for this loving post! I have to agree with Mitchell, though. I think that's just long sweaty hair. But, this lad definitely fits your Viking berserker profile. Lol.
ReplyDeleteWe got spanked by Edmonton last night but the Kraken were taking more shots on goal... I think they'll improve! Goodness knows we could use a winning sports franchise in the PNW. Grumble grumble.
@ Tundra Bunny -- I KNEW another Canadian would understand!
ReplyDelete@ e -- Hey, maybe the Kraken will take after the Vegas Golden Knights and play for the Stanley Cup in their very first season of existence! Keep your fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteSo if you were in the tunnel while he was coming off the ice all sweaty from a fresh fight, he could have you right then and there?
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up, woman!!! Happy Hockeying!
ReplyDelete@ Mike -- Absolutely not. You forget that I'm a lesbian. My attraction to him is not sexual.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't grow much else now.
ReplyDeleteLol. Gotta love the mullet!
ReplyDeleteFun post. He looks like a fine fellow who can cuss with the best sailors. I also like a long luxurious mane on a fellow. When I met his Lordship - oooh long and curly locks. Alas he cut it all and never grew it for me again despite my pleas.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you knew how to read lips?
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll bet the other team so appreciated his words of encouragement ;)
ReplyDeleteMy eyes! The goggles do nothing!
ReplyDeleteOh my. That was hilarious. Seeing his transition makes me wonder what kind of hair cream he was using? And was he putting it IN his hair or in his veins?
ReplyDeleteMy son played for 10 years which ended last year as he chose to concentrate on college rather than junior hockey and I can tell you that mullett/hockey hair never went away including him for a good 12 months. Stop by the nearest rink and you'll see it in all it's glory.
ReplyDeleteI don't get it. I don't understand.
ReplyDeleteI will never go into hockey world.
And if by misfortune they take me as hostage
I will work persistently to escape.
Probably i would call my uncle Fabio to see if he has any ideas. He won't have anything.
But at least i tried.
The Boy Scout and I had a good laugh over this one! You saucy thing, you.
ReplyDeleteI know very little about Hockey except it can be very rough. All sports are too expensive so I doubt I'll take up going to the arena even though we have a team here in Houston. I do find it amazing to watch them skate, twist and turn. I'll keep an ear out for this guy on the sports news.
ReplyDeleteHA,Ha,Ha...He kept his Pittsburgh colors..Sweaty for sure!!
ReplyDeleteI judge you as a woman of EXCEPTIONAL taste!
ReplyDeleteMuch gratitude for this post.
I won't judge you, Debra! Because I am a Canadian American girl with simple Canadian American tastes and I love hockey. I love the Vegas Golden Knights, and one day I am going to see them play in Vegas! I love "Tanev's look of stunned innocence ~ LOL! Happy Hockey watching my friend!
ReplyDeleteDrugs... gotta be.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know Seattle had a hockey team.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on and stay safe
During that fight, did the other guy yank at that hair at all?
ReplyDelete@ Kirk -- Big tough hockey players fight like MEN, not like LITTLE GIRLS. There is no hair pulling involved. Only punching and blood.
ReplyDeletehaha you are so funny
ReplyDeletei am not judging you at all and you know this :)
mm nice eye candy.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have a notable team near me
ReplyDeleteBrandon is rather gorgeous! Now he's let loose his inner wild boy.
ReplyDeletedang, lets go Brandon.
ReplyDelete@ Linda -- No, Mark Stone is a Canadian from Winnipeg, Manitoba (my former city). I can't think of a single Australian player in the NHL ever. To reach the elite level of the NHL, players basically start playing hockey very, very young in childhood. Since there's not a lot of ice hockey played in Australia, no sports infrastructure exists there to train young kids to that level. If an Australian kid moved to Canada (or another hockey nation) as a child, they could certainly start playing hockey then and might one day make the NHL.
ReplyDeleteTrying to figure out what happened in Pittsburgh too. It's such a chill city (my son goes to college there). Maybe it's a little TOO chill...
ReplyDelete