Sunday, 12 February 2023

The Big Sleazy, Chapter 6


Of course that double-dealing, duplicitous lez lawyer DID make it stick. The Karmic Crystal of Justice ensured her invincibility in all legal matters. It only took the jury ten minutes to convict me. I didn’t stand a chance.

So now here I am in Pawshank Penitentiary, doing hard time for a murder I didn’t commit. I lie awake at night, plotting revenge that will never occur.

This is my life now.

Let it be a lesson to all you mooks out there who think you’re so hard-boiled and tough and streetwise. If it could happen to me, it can happen to you. Steer clear of the Translesbigay Mafia. They're ruthless.

My final case ought to be known as The Shamus and the Shyster. It was a match made in Hell. Or at least in Nightmare Alley.

Of all the private investigator joints in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into mine.





[Story, art and photo of art © Debra She Who Seeks, 2023]

47 comments:

  1. Pawshank.
    You're killing me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And now His Royal Highness is confined to your house, wondering if he will ever be released, for a crime he swears he didn't commit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too funny, all the way to the federal pokey. I hope when she gets out, there'll be a sequel. Or maybe she'll be smuggled out..

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Pawshank Penitentiary" ... you clever toots you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dashiel Who Seeks. Winner of the 2023 Edgar Award.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am embarrassed I did not see the plot development re: the crystal. But that plot development undermines the story: if the femme fatale just outright murdered Gandalf and took the crystal, its possession meant She Who Seeks would have gotten off scot-free. Why bother with a patsy?

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ Old Lurker -- Logic? HA! I laugh in the face of logic! You expect too much of my plotting abilities.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just say "YES!!!" to a sequel! I really enjoyed this ~ TFS

    ReplyDelete
  9. Spayed got played!

    Thank you for taking this goofy suggestion and running with it! It's a winner and so are you, Debra!
    e

    ReplyDelete
  10. Loved all the left turns made to get back to the beginning. Very much a meow-full of a read.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Brava, Debra! I really enjoyed "The Big Sleazy".... even with the strong smell of a sequel in the air...

    Spayed and her cellmate, El Crapo, tunnel out of Pawshank Penitentiary into the main sewage pipe, swim through a river of shit and escape to Mexico. Spayed gets to Panama, then on to Cuba where she hitches a ride back to Canada in a cigar shipment. Spayed forms her own gang and embarks on a campaign of revenge/harassment by crapping in all of She Who Seeks' orthopedic, er, sensible shoes....

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'll send that cat a poster of Rita Hayworth. Or maybe he'd prefer Morris.

    Great story.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @ Tundra Bunny -- I don't need to write a sequel, you've already proposed the perfect one! Except for the crapping in my shoes part, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Too soon for it to end. You have got to do this again.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Something tells me there is no cage that can hold HRH for very long.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Love the Orange Is The New Black uniform. Poor pussy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. But who will really get the final laugh?

    I mean in the sequel, maybe HRH Sprayed will come back and haunt She Who Seeks and the Translesbigay Mafia and knock them off one by one?!?!?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Bravo! (or is it brava?) You should think about writing and illustrating graphic novels!

    ReplyDelete
  19. @ Mistress Maddie -- Knocking off the Translesbigay Mafia one by one in the sequel? Hmmm, that would probably appeal to HRH.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well that ended badly for the paw mook!
    I wonder if he has a poster on his wall?
    Loved the story. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  21. Never say never - I want another book. One where revenge is served cold.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Did you spend a year writing out all your double entendres? This was so well done.

    ReplyDelete
  23. @ Joanne Noragon -- Hahaha, no, it took me about a week to write the story and do the illustrations.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Love the Pawshank Penitentiary :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. LMAOOO
    Pawshank? I'm dying. That kitty is going to end using eating utensils to dig his way out, no??

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  26. You can't leave him to rot in a penitentiary! You have to get him out!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well, bad on me. I agree, too soon for this to end. I must go back and catch up. Is bail money in need? Because I can...I don't know, pull rank with HRH or something.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I'm just catching up and LOVED this. Brilliant. You are talented indeed. I now need to read more about my favorite hirsute hawkshaw. Please write more. (And special bonus points for the great illustrations!)

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm not saying all cats belong in jail, but some do deserve it

    *five seconds later, cat owners stab me to death

    "

    ReplyDelete
  30. Pawshank Penitentiary---LOL!!
    The poor Gumshoe didn't know what was coming from the likes of you!!

    This was a fun story, and the artwork accompanying was perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh excellent, excellent! A best seller for sure! Maybe adapted for a short ministries. Oh the possibilities!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Awesome, Debra! Waiting for the announcement of this new series on Netflix :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. I read the whole thing all at once. It was fun. Translesbigay Mafia - what a name! Poor HRH Spayed. For an investigator, he didn't do much investigating but he was probably dazzled by the money. Wonderful artworks.

    Have a lovely day

    ReplyDelete
  34. Pawshank! LOL OK, so there HAS to be a breakout attempt in the sequel, right???

    ReplyDelete
  35. Today I finally managed to read the final chapters. And YES, I also think this calls for a sequel!
    ALL THE BEST from Austria!
    Traude
    ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  36. Entertaining from beginning to end, Debra! Poor Private Investigator HRH Spayed didn't have a chance.

    ReplyDelete
  37. There's got to be a sequel in the works.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Good Morning Vietnam: "The beaches were protected by dikes... Large women in sensible shoes saying don't go near the water."

    Your cat detective story is great and you will do a sequel, yes?

    ReplyDelete
  39. @ The Blog Fodder -- You get the Grand Prize for recognizing the source of the "sensible shoes" reference! I was wondering if anyone was ever going to reference Robin Williams' immortal line! Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hey Doll face so ya know about Willym and the Hounds. Too bad 'cause now ya gotta suffer the consequences. Just be prepared to be licked to death those Hounds got rough tongues!

    ReplyDelete
  41. @ Willym -- Hahahahaha, there are worse ways to go!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Have you thought of doing a graphic novel.
    Coffee is on and stay safe

    ReplyDelete
  43. you have multiple talents for sure dear Debra :)
    enjoyed the read ,she will escape

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are welcomed and appreciated!

However, comment moderation is on and no comments will be published from trolls, haters, bots or spammers.