Saturday, 11 February 2023

The Big Sleazy, Chapter 5


When I came to for the second time, it was morning. I was back in my office, slumped over on the floor, bleeding quietly in the horizontal light-and-shadow patterns made by the window blinds.

My office had been thoroughly tossed, all the files opened and their contents dumped out, my couch cushions slashed to ribbons with a knife, the whole nine yards. Needless to say, the big briefcase with all the sweet, sweet money was gone.

She Who Seeks was sitting behind my desk in my office chair, idly playing with a big flashing crystal amulet hanging around her neck.

“Conscious again, are we?” she asked. “Hey, how do you like my Karmic Crystal of Justice? It looks damn good on me, don’t you think?”

“How did you get that?” I croaked.

“Got it last night off some mangy old wizard named Gandalf after he had an unfortunate accident while in the bathtub. Seems a plugged-in electric toaster oven somehow fell into the water with him. ZAP! And all of a sudden, the amulet needed a new home.”

She Who Seeks poked me in the ribs with the toe of her sensible shoe.

“We -- and by ‘we’ I mean the Translesbigay Mafia -- knew where the amulet was located all along, of course. But what we didn’t have yet was a patsy, a stooge, to take the fall for the murder. Say, you don’t look busy at the moment. You’ll do just fine.”

“You’ll never make it stick. I have witnesses and a rock-solid alibi for last night.”

She threw back her head and laughed.





[Story © Debra She Who Seeks, 2023;
Sailor Moon GIF courtesy of internet]

26 comments:

  1. I love the descriptions like the “sensible shoes.” Just purr-fect!

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  2. The Translesbigay Mafia took out Ian McKellen? He had to have been from a rival gang.

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  3. As they say, the plot thickens.

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  4. She Who Seeks is so evil - I hope she gets what's coming to her.

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  5. "She Who Seeks poked me in the ribs with the toe of her sensible shoe." BAHAHAHA! I can totally relate to the sensible shoes!

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  6. She Who Seeks is showing an entirely different side, despite the sensible shoes. I look forward to this every day.

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  7. "Seems a plugged-in electric toaster oven somehow fell into the water" I tell ya... I hate when stuff like that happens. I guess it was hard knocks for the wizard. Oh now the grand finale is coming how will this end?

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  8. For a while I had suspected you have been making things up, but now I see this account has been 100% truthful.

    Also it serves Gandalf right for living in one of those tiny condos that has a combined kitchen/bathroom to save space.

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  9. Darn tootin' I'll be back tomorrow!!! Loving it!

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  10. I'd have to keep the Karmic Crystal covered up. Just having it on the screen was driving me nuts. HRH Spayed can have it.

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  11. Oh no! And then what happened? Also, Gandalf is always late.

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  12. Oh no gandalf is dead. Again!
    Hope he’s a cat and still has another seven lives

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  13. I cannot wait for more tomorrow. From a desert town reading your post.

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  14. someday someone will have to explain to me exactly what a sensible shoe is.

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  15. It been a while since I stop in and I'm not shock you have a wizard in your story.
    Coffee is on and stay safe

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  16. Accidents are bound to happen when you try to make toast while having a bath.

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  17. The Translesbigays RULE! And don't you forget it, Spayed! Ha!
    e

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  18. G'day Deb,

    You used to follow my blog a baker's dozen years ago - "theviolethourmuse". tI occasionally swing by yours and when I saw this, thought you'd like to see Crones in Cabaret, Adelaide Festival
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwYpcbIE59k&t=5s

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  19. @ Anonymous -- Hello! How lovely to hear from you again! Yes, I remember your blog very well -- always enjoyed reading it. Thanks for the link to your fab Crones in Cabaret video -- just the kind of spirit and feistiness all women should have as we get older! I hope life in Australia is treating you well! Hugs!

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  20. Alibis rhyme with lies for a reason

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