As I revealed in my last post, my cousin Betty Windsor has a LONG-STANDING GRUDGE against me and would gladly EXCLUDE me from this weekend's Royal Wedding.
Frankly, Betty has ALWAYS been jealous of me, ever since she and I appeared together on a gold coin a few years ago. My beauty is so obviously superior that people who used these coins for a coin toss said that I was HEADS and Betty was TAILS. Well!!! Little Miss Sensitive NEVER got over that.
Of course, Betty is also a well-known CAT HATER from WAY BACK. The only animals she TRULY likes are corgis and horses. (*shudder*)
In fact, Betty's dislike of cats is so profound that there is only ONE known photo of her with a cat -- and it dates from when she was still a PRINCESS in World War Friggin' TWO! Believe me, that phoney little backstabber is smiling in this photo ONLY for propaganda purposes to keep up the morale of our brave, patriotic CAT-LOVING Armed Forces!
Anyway, to make a long story short, Cousin Betty has VOWED to keep me from attending the Royal Wedding BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
Will that deter me?
HA HA, I say!
Bring it on!
Do your worst, Betty!
I laugh in your face!
SEE YOU AT THE WEDDING!
Don't worry -- I'll report back after the wedding with ALL the details, everyone!
You know, Betty is just fortunate that I am TOO HIGH CLASS to write a TELL-ALL BOOK about every tawdry and unsavoury family secret I've heard! Oh, the dirt I could dish . . . .
That explains why nasty Betty lurvs Corgies so much...
ReplyDelete"Betty was TAILS"! Loving it!
ReplyDeleteI just knew you were going to find a way to be there. Looking forward to all the details.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! So catty! Listen, you must look at the BBC and see the Beano drawings of them al l!
ReplyDeleteYou can come as my Plus One.
ReplyDeleteOh, the gossip! I could just imagine HRH's tell-all book titled, "Letting The Cat Out of The Bag." Now I would buy that book for sure. I heard Charles is walking Meghan down the aisle.
ReplyDeleteYou’ll get places ordinary folk won’t be allowed. Keep us posted!
ReplyDelete"Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat, where have you been?"
ReplyDeleteWell, not to London to see the Queen!
I've never really understand her love for corgis, diverse your hounds woman
ReplyDeleteIs that Princess Margaret next to Elisabeth? She seem to be looking at you with genuine affection. Too bad she's gone to that royal palace in the sky.
ReplyDeleteNothing gets in the way of cattitude. You go!
ReplyDeleteI want the dirt, HRH. Give me the dirt!
ReplyDeleteHave a blast at the wedding.
bring home a slice of wedding cake for your hoomins!
ReplyDeleteOh, but what would it take to lower yourself to write that book, HRH? I'll do anything, ANYTHING! Can't wait to get the report from you. Then, bribery will be on its way.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear your report, Ms. RH! I have no doubt in your ability to crash the Royal Wedding!
ReplyDelete@ Leeanna Henderson -- Oh, that is the PERFECT name for my tell-all book! I will call it that for sure and I will dedicate the book to you, because you are one of my finest role models as an unrepentant shit disturber!
ReplyDelete@ Kirk -- Yes, that is INDEED Princess Margaret in that old photo. Oh, the boozy, male-chasing FUN TIMES we had even then, she and I -- what a LIVE WIRE Maggie was, especially compared to frumpy, grumpy Betty. Also -- VERY perceptive of you to recognize me in that WW2 photo -- I was in the FIRST of my nine lives then. Ah, memories.
ReplyDelete@ Rawknrobyn -- Catnip ALWAYS makes a good bribe, dear. When I write my tell-all book, perhaps YOU could EDIT it for me -- with your VAST experience of sexual innuendo, double-entendre and talent for rolling around in the gutter, you'd be the PERFECT choice! Oh, and you'll LOVE the dirt I have about Martha Stewart and Prince Philip, that dirty old DOG.
ReplyDelete@Her Royal Highness. It's a good thing your in the after life... because if Betty sees this, she will have your hide one way or another. But my dog, Buster Bolfig Borghese says he will have your back.
ReplyDeleteShe’s a cat hater? Let’s get her removed from the throne. She isn’t to be trusted. Cat haters are not to be trusted.
ReplyDelete@ Birdie -- MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY!!!!
ReplyDeleteI once helped a cat escape from England after he tried to assassinate the Queen's Corgis. I need clearing from the government to tell you any more than that. I was banned as well. I am told that Harry is afraid I will steal his girl with my devilish charms. Apparantly she Canadian accent makes her wet.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the wedding HRH! Make Betty jealous of your beauty.
ReplyDeleteLOL...Fun picture. Go Cat. Not a Corgi or horse fan here.
ReplyDeleteSandy's Space
@ Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness -- Oh yes, I had a DELIGHTFUL affair with that James Bond kitty who carried out the corgi assassination attempt. So YOU were the mystery operative who spirited him away afterwards! I should have known. Your DERRING-DO is well known among feline espionage agents. Hugs to the Baroness.
ReplyDeleteoh do dish! you go girl
ReplyDeleteIt is my observation that horses and cats think a lot alike. Dogs, not so much.
ReplyDeleteCAn't wait to hear of your adventures among Royalty.. Watch out for those Corgies.. Great post...
ReplyDeleteI like the Queen even less now.
ReplyDelete'Feline espionage agents' - well, that explains a lot. You know, I thought I saw the flash of tail whisking around the pews on the bride's side of the chapel. Of course, that couldn't have been you... you wouldn't allow your cover to be blown. Perhaps one of your operatives?
ReplyDeleteI understand that Buckingham Palace is simply overrun with mice - the Dorgis were brought in to take care of that but they have fallen down on the job. How does Betty's cat-antipathy serve her now, hmm?
Really looking forward to the tell all book. You know that it will make Betty's blood boil!
Waiting in anticipation for all of the royal details...LOL Happy Sunday Debra.
ReplyDeleteWell, since I wasn't invited I really don't give a hoot what they are doing but, I did notice how much the Queen resembles my Aunt and Godmother Vivian. I doubt we are related but none-the-less an invitation would have been something to frame. I do love your comment about the "coin." Ha, ha, ha..........
ReplyDeleteLOL! HRH, you are brilliant! Kick Betty's ass!!
ReplyDeletei am impressed by your not just beauty but confidence as well HRH
ReplyDeletei bet betty will run away from the party when see you there lol