I got it from my surgery a few months ago
to remove some early stage skin cancer
but that's our little secret, okay?
I'm gonna tell everyone
who asks from now on
that I got this scar during a
knife fight in a lesbian bar.
That'll boost my street cred!
And this is the bitch who cut me!
Hey, that has healed well! (I never got cut either so will also have to assign real events to scars from other things; that is what you mean, right?)
ReplyDeleteglad they caught the cancer but i would definitely hang with the second story too! so much more badass.
ReplyDeleteI bet she's sorry she's took you on!
ReplyDeleteHello Debra, No one is going to believe that "medical" story. Aren't you the one who was talking about shivs not so long ago?
ReplyDelete--Jim
p.s. Either way, I wish you a quick and complete recovery, except maybe for a small scar that will remind people not to mess with you, assuming that there are any who need such reminders.
I have a car on my forehead and whenever someone asks how I got it, I start with, "You know I was in prison, right?"
ReplyDeleteA knife fight in a lesbian bar will definitely boost your street cred lol!
ReplyDeleteYou won't show pictures of what you did to her, too horrible to show.
ReplyDeleteI like a person who produces a good story. Did she live to tell the tale?
ReplyDeleteSocialized medicine!
ReplyDeleteThis is why we in the states cling to our outrageous system.
But did she “knife” you with the gun or the cigarillo? Or maybe she hid the knife for the photo. Side of the lower leg stabbings are so common in lesbian bar knife fights.
ReplyDeleteThe scar looks really good for having been so recent. Glad you noticed it early! Love those Canadian winter legs!
Yeah - she probably cut you with a bit of broken bottle glass while you were kneeling on her chest smacking her in the face! Right??
ReplyDeleteSounds as if you know way too much about this, Pam. Where did you hide the evidence?
DeleteThe most important thing is that you got it quickly seen to and received good medical attention. It looks as if it is healing up really well.
ReplyDelete@ Pam Nash -- OMG, you were there? Why didn't you say hi?
ReplyDeleteLOL. I went down to Rocky Point, Mexico back in the day for Spring Break...this was long before it was some half fancy resort place, and you could just camp out on the beach. Anyway we had a tarp tied up to the back of our little Datsun station wagon hatchback and I walked itno it and clocked myself realy good on the forehead right over my eye. Cut, bleeding, big bruise, etc. Genuinely scared people they said it sounded like I'd hit the car with a hammer.
ReplyDeleteI get back home and was unloading my crap with my trickster friend Judy, and my roommate (who couldn't go) asked "Wow! What happened?"
Before I could say a word, Judy started in with a story about a bar fight with a bunch of mexican banditos, broken bottles pool cues and knives, and how it was a battle royale and I got hit with a chair before taking our the leader with a thrown 8-ball to the forehead...David's eyes got wider and wider as she was telling this.
If only I'd been able to keep from falling down laughing, I'd bet he'd believe it to this day.
...and was the bouncer who broke it up gay? :/jk
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that it was a success.
I believe your story. After all, I had a box of Xerox copy paper jump out to attack me and I broke a knuckle while defending myself.
@ Bruce.desertrat -- Your friend Judy is my kinda gal!
ReplyDelete@ G. B. Miller -- Bouncers in lesbian bars are always big, tough butches. Back in my day, their purpose was to keep out (1) angry men looking for their wives/girlfriends and (2) Bible thumpers who wanted to save our souls.
ReplyDeleteHey there white girl. Did your dermatologist say "USE MORE SUNSCREEN"! Mine does every time I see her.
ReplyDeleteLol. Glad the troubling bit was removed!
ReplyDelete@ Mike -- As Moving With Mitchell so astutely noted above, those are "Canadian winter legs." But I must confess that even in the summer, I don't get a lot of tan on my legs. Which makes the presence of skin cancer all the more surprising, but what can I do?
ReplyDeleteYeah but who won? If you are gonna get a scar that's a good place to have it.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah a knife wound that will do it. LOL
ReplyDeleteSeems you took a knife to a gun fight and won. Impressive.
ReplyDeleteI would say it is healing nicely. But yes, a knife fight is always a better story than blaming the sun or your dermatologist!
ReplyDeleteMuch better story..I have lots of those scars from the same thing...Happy Sunday!! Congrats to the girls hockey team Ya beat us!!
ReplyDeleteHoly Shit! How did you get that picture of me??? I thought I had destroyed all the evidence.
ReplyDeletePS: The gun shoots soap bubbles.
PPS: Sorry about the scar, but... you started it. Fool.
@ e -- You're late with your blackmail payment this month. Don't let it happen again.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see your surgical scar healed up so nicely. But a knife fight in a lesbian bar? Puhleese... an HRH-inflicted injury would be more plausible!
ReplyDelete@ Tundra Bunny -- You're absolutely RIGHT! I can't take credit for that TINY scar on her leg but I did inflict FOUR LONG, DEEP CLAW MARKS on her ASS once when she failed to feed me on time. Bast alone knows what BULLSHIT STORY she's concocted to explain THOSE scars.
ReplyDeleteS&M?
ReplyDelete@ Tundra Bunny and @Her Royal Highness -- You two incorrigibles, get the hell off this comments section! Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteGreat they got it early. Good story. I need to make up something about the scars on my abdomen. They are only visible when I am on the beach though.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the huge grins, both from your post and the comments!
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation, that bitch is smoking a cigarette. Watch what happens to her lungs in twenty years.
ReplyDeleteHowever you got the scar, I hope it heals soon.
Your secret is safe, I'm sure, with all of us.
ReplyDeleteI bet she won't mess with you again.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on and stay safe
I think you should stick with the truth which might just make more people aware that odd spots need to be checked.
ReplyDeleteprecious dear Debra i am grateful your surgery went fine and scar shows it is healing quickly .
ReplyDeletei wish you health and much more happiness in life ahead my rock star friend !
hugs and blessings!
haha..
ReplyDeletegood to hear the cancer has been taken care of.
I'm glad you were able to get surgery. Hope you're doing well
ReplyDeleteGlad they got that bastard off! I like the idea of that knife fight in a lesbian bar. Sounds cool. And that lesbian looks badass.
ReplyDeleteOhhh I would NOT mess with that lady!
ReplyDeleteAnd so glad you took care of that! The C word really scares me.
XOXO
Was she lying on the floor or were you doing a drop kick? Gotta get the story straight...
ReplyDelete@ Cederq -- The actual fight is all just a blur now, my memory is shaky and hazy. I lost a lotta blood, man.
ReplyDeleteIf I had a nickle for every scar I got from a knife fight in a lesbian bar......
ReplyDeleteSassybear
www.idleeyesandadormy.com
Even better if you were still wearing your robes! Very anti-hero-ish.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I don't think that even HRH could cut that b*tch. Keep the story going, hon!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad they got it early.
ReplyDeleteI support your decision to tell anyone who asks whatever you want, because...fuck cancer.
ReplyDeleteOur secret! I won't tell a soul. You'll always be the badass with a great story.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the surgery went well, I mean, yeah, gurl, raise some hell in the club!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness you had the skin cancer removed, Debra! But your knife fight in a lesbian bar story is so much more fun! Here's for great stories!
ReplyDeleteDebra, I'm so happy they got to remove it!!! Please take care of you and your bar fights! LOL! Big Hugs!
ReplyDelete