Sexual orientation and gender identity have always been central issues in the LGBTQ+ community. Conceptually, they are not the same thing, nor are they interchangeable. The modern Pride movement's first priority for overcoming hate and obtaining rights focused primarily on sexual orientation issues. We have been quite successful in that regard, although of course there is still more work to be done and we must continue to be vigilant in protection of these hard-won rights.
Today, however, the most urgent focus for our community's struggle concerns gender identity issues -- transgender rights, gender fluidity, and rejection of the traditionally-understood gender binary model. Unfortunately, these issues split not only mainstream secular and religious society, but also our own gay male and lesbian communities, feminist community and women's spirituality community.
EVERYBODY has a lot to learn and it is distressing to me that there is so much transphobia and gender bigotry within all our communities. However, I firmly believe that we must be supportive and accepting of those on the front lines of the gender identity struggle. They will take our understanding of diversity and freedom to the next level.
Some day, lipstick colour will be the only issue that matters!
40 comments:
Love that last point. Respect and kindness! More important than ever.
Agreed! It is perplexing how concerned people are about others' gender identity. It is so much easier to simply accept others even if it is difficult to understand. We are all just humans working our way through our wacky lives.
these are all so good but i especially love the bathroom example!
I admit that sometimes I have problems with gender identity, gender non-conforming, nonbinary, fluid, BUT I also realize that if someone wants to be called a certain name or addressed with a certain pronoun, how hard is that to do.
It's called respect.
Very good especially the bathroom one.
That first one really sums it up doesn't it? These are all accurate when you get down to it, with a slightly smart and true ring to them.
So we have trans right? There people too. Moving on people.
I look forward to the day when people are judged for the content of their character and not for the colour of their skin, their lipstick or the contents of their pants!
I liked the correlation to the # of left-handers.
This has always been a difficult and incomprehensible topic to me. I don't understand how people can't just adapt. The Pokemon meme makes a great point. If society knows how to go from Miss to Mrs., why can't they acknowledge and use a different pronoun?
Victor Echo November. If you know, you know.
I'll never understand why we can't all just be human beings and leave it at that!
I heart ya.
And you can expect this from the bigoted xtianists, who believe a man in the sky in flowing robes talks to them but cannot fathom the idea of gender not being binary.
Also, sometimes the call is coming from inside the house: the LGBTQ (it has a T!) community is sometimes very clique-y and the infighting can be exhausting.
XOXO
I liked the one about the rib. Of course the bible is full of translated parables that some people get hung up on the details instead of just understanding the message.
Hey I included a picture in a reply to your comment on my blog. I think you'll like it and feel free to use it.
I think the religious right/republican bigots know they have lost in the court of public opinion (and the legal courts) when it comes to gays and lesbians so they are coming after trans-persons with a vengeance because they are the most vulnerable and the smallest in number of the minorities left to victimize. The bigoted politicians are cowards and incompetent legislators...making anti-trans legislation instead of making laws to protect all persons and address the real issues of our time: gun violence, global warming, education, poverty, racism...
I had another meme about Eve being a transgender clone.
And I've got two gender neutral bathrooms in my house. Sometimes I wish I had a third.
Excellent post Deb! Big Hugs!
All human beings deserve equal respect. It IS that fu*king simple. Geeze.
Loving your blog more than usual this month.
Thank you. <3
Superb.
I never thought about Barbie and Ken"s pants.
Well said, Debra. I've never understood the uproar over bathrooms. If I don't want to see a dick, then I won't enter the bathroom with the urinals and I'll turn off the news anytime Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell are on.
Love,
Janie
I had the experience of growing up with a person in my friend group who was Trans. We all know from first grade that he was meant to be a boy and accepted it as normal. We're all still in touch today, and he's a dear friend to me...and we've known each other for 40 years! So I try to be a good ally and even when I struggle to understand some aspects (non binary and gender fluid, for example) it's not that hard to be a decent human and to give others the respect and kindness we would want for ourselves.
@ Jennifer -- Loving and supportive allies can make all the difference! You have been that to your friend!
I've had bouts of GD over the years that have sent me to a psychologist. He suggested "NB" and the pronouns "they/them". I may someday take him up on those suggestions, but I have to be realistic when filling out a job or loan application, and so for the time being I'm still AMAB. I will say that at the LGBTQ clinic I go to, I now put down Q instead of G on the paperwork.
Sorry for all the letters, but sexuality and gender has become a bit of an alphebet soup over the years.
I never really worry about who is peeing next to me, as long as they don't splash on the floor.
@ Kirk -- Alphabet soup or not, at least you're getting to know yourself better and that's always a good thing!
I can see why it can all be confusing to some of us, but then, why do some of us worry about it SO MUCH? Let people live their lives how they want to live them and be respectful of everyone. It's that simple.
Life is short, bigots should learn to 'Live and let live', and be kind.
Well I got here thanks to Martha, but i still haven't figured this out. Blogger is way more complicated than it used to be. Or my dementia is acting up again. Anyway I was shocked to see the reports of vandalized rainbow displays on CBC this morning. You are right, work still remains to be done! Francie, she/her
@ Dancing Crone (Francie) -- Hello! So great to have you back in the blogosphere! Yes, that CBC report is unsettling. Two of the incidents were here in Alberta, I believe. Lots of ugliness crawling out from under rocks right now.
Love the last one..let's hope so..
Other than the christians (and other religious assholes), the most enraging section of society are the TERFs. Confirming the humanity of our trans sisters does not diminish their lives in any way. Why, people, why? Why can't you just accept that some people are not like you? Who cares? It doesn't affect you! Live and let live, love and let love.
And, remember Wil Wheaton's first rule of life: Don't be a dick.
I've met really well transitioned transmen and transwomen, it's hard for anyone to call them by their first gender the only ones that do it are very bigoted people
If I have said it once or a dozen times to people about gender names "what fucking difference does it make to your life?"..fuckers.
I don't see what the big problem is with gender neutral bathrooms - as long as I remember to put the toilet seat down?
In 1969 I went to Salzburg for the Summer Festival for the first time. There is a public washroom just of the Domplatz with a separate entrance for Damen and Herren - however they both lead you to a common area with cubicles and an old lady who directed to one she had just cleaned. She also had hold of the towels for drying your hands afterwards and would relinquish one only after you had tipped her. The last time we were there in 2014 it was the same - and I swear to god it was the same old lady!
I really like the example of left-handers. My aunt (my mother's sister) was left handed and she was forced to learn to write with her other hand. Jump ahead a couple of generations... My younger daughter is left handed and no one cares. Why can't we just let people be who they are? It's that simple.
Read Anthony Burgess' Earthly Powers for an alternative version of the Genesis account, where Adam is given first a male companion. It has homosexuality, transgenderism and a few other taboos.
On a side note, my wife wished we had two bathrooms in the house and they wouldn't be gender neutral.
I think (or hope) we are on the verge of a period where people will be allowed to be who they want to be without judgement, it's not going to be easy but I think it's coming. About time too.
My Darling Youngest in non-binary and pansexual. All I want is for them to be happy. I told them I didn't care about the gender expression or orientation of anyone they brought home to meet me, but it would be a lot to deal with if they were a modern American republican. *shudder*
@ Rommy -- You have your priorities straight (so to speak), LOL!
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