Now that the Stanley Cup playoffs are over, it's time once again to hand out the only Hockey Awards that really matter! Screw the NHL's Hockey Awards, who needs 'em?
DEBRA SHE WHO SEEKS'
2024 PLAYOFF HOCKEY AWARDS
1. Best Promotional Item
**The Connor McDonut**
Produced by a local Edmonton donut shop, these big sugary confections in the Oilers team colours of orange and blue were only available for sale on game days. Diabeetus on a plate!
2. Best National Anthems Singer
**SoulBear at Winnipeg Jets home games**
SoulBear is an openly gay singer from Winnipeg with an outstanding voice! In the absence of a video yet to be posted from the Jets' 2024 playoff run, here's one from the Jets' 2022 Pride Night where SoulBear sings, a cappella, both the American and Canadian national anthems:
3. Best Superfan
It's a three-way tie among these intrepid Edmonton Oilers devotees:
**Superfan Magoo (Blair Gladue)**
**Banjoguy55 (Dave Steil)**
**Mama Stanley (Mary Loewen)**
And here's a snippet from a profile of Mama Stanley by the St. Albert Gazette --
Being Mama Stanley is no easy feat
for St. Albert’s Mary Loewen.
Two Oilers blazers, check. Chrome makeup, check.
Tinsel wig, got it. Finally, the crowning glory:
a homemade Stanley Cup hat she wears
on her head, adorned with 3,500 sequins,
each individually pinned on with little nails.
“It took my daughter and my grandson’s girlfriend
a long time to make that,” she said.
“Every time I go to Rogers [Arena], it’s always
my head that sets the security off.”
4. Most Heartbreaking Haircuts of 2024
Two of my former Hockey Hair Gods havecut their hair! Behold the Before & After Pix of my poor shorn sheep:
**Mark Stone (Vegas Golden Knights)**
**Igor Shesterkin (New York Rangers)**
I'm devastated.
But not for long . . . .
5. This Year's Hockey Hair God
**Sergei Bobrovsky, Russian goalie for the Florida Panthers**
Feast your eyes on those luscious locks, golden highlights and all!
This month's altar honours Nike, the Greek Goddess of Victory. I am shamelessly invoking her aid on behalf of the Edmonton Oilers to win the 2024 Stanley Cup! In the 7 game final series, the Oilers are down 3-2. They must win both the remaining 2 games to accomplish a rare "Reverse Sweep" in order to win the series and the Stanley Cup.
Nike presides over the Stanley Cup banner on the altar lit by orange and blue candles, the Oilers' team colours. My Nike statue is a reproduction of an ancient Etruscan statue which I bought about 20 years ago at West Edmonton Mall. She holds the laurel wreath of victory in one hand and the owl of wisdom in the other.
May we hear the Oilers' victory song play twice more -- once tonight and once again on Monday night!
