Yeehaw and Forsooth

Love Shakespeare AND Westerns?

Then THIS is for YOU!

I found this on the internet,

where it's known as

"The Cowboy Witch Poem" or

"The Goth Shakespearean Western."

And here's the fancy-shmancy

calligraphy version

to hang in the front parlour!

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

It's "Shakespeare Day" Today!

April 23 is believed by many scholars to have been both

Shakespeare's date of birth in 1564 and his date of death in 1616.

That is why on today's date the world celebrates the Bard of Avon!

The rest of this post pays tribute to his play Macbeth

(often referred to by actors, for superstitious reasons,

 as "the Scottish Play" or "Mackers") --

Forsooth, Get With the Times, Bill!

"Iambic Pentameter Is My Bitch"

Time once again to raise the tone of this blog, courtesy of the Bard of Avon --



Thanks to Willym of Will He or Won't He, on whose blog I found this video about six months ago.

But more recently, major kudos are due to Will who just scored 7/7 on the very difficult Folger Shakespeare Library's Ultimate Shakespeare Trivia Quiz.

I myself scored a paltry 2/7. But am I bitter?

Updating Shakespeare

Shakespeare is damn tired of feeling irrelevant and outdated in the modern world. His image needs a makeover!

How about a haircut and some hipster clothes, Bill? Yeah, that's better.

And screw parchment! He's using an iPad these days.

And he's got a blog!

LL Shakey Bill is getting quite a reputation as a rapper on the World Wide Web, complete with parental advisory controls on his sites.

And he's on Twitter too!

Bill is also trying to update his writing style. He's gotta reach computer nerds now, after all.

Plus connect with the youth of the 21st century! That's why he's rewritten a few of his classics using texts, slang, emojis and hashtags.

Take his play Hamlet, for instance. Who the hell wants to plow through Hamlet's dull "Get thee to a nunnery" speech when they can read this instead?

And teens relate much better to his new style than a bunch of ye olde Englishe claptrap!

It's not like the update strips the original of its power or poetry or anything!

The new folios do, however, have their detractors.

[Note: These books are real and part of the recently published "OMG Shakespeare" series. They are available on Amazon and presumably at better bookstores everywhere, assuming that any such places still exist.]

Quadricentenary

William Shakespeare died 400 years ago today on April 23, 1616. That date is also speculated to have been his 52nd birthday. His cause of death is unknown but it was apparently sudden, unexpected and natural.

What better way to pay tribute to the greatest of English playwrights and poets than by using his own words?

What a piece of work is a man!

how noble in reason!

how infinite in faculty!

in form and moving how

express and admirable!

in action how like an angel!

in apprehension how like a god!

the beauty of the world!

the paragon of animals!

And yet, to me,

what is this quintessence of dust? 

(Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2)

(Photo is from the 2013 movie Only Lovers Left Alive.
And yes, of course, that is Tom Hiddleston.)

How to Make Shakespeare Popular Again

Poor old Bill. Who's interested in his plays anymore?

No one can understand Shakespearean language these days. So there's no point in trying to be hip about it. Rap lyrics, for example, just aren't the same when rendered in ye olde Englysshe.

Nor does it work the other way. Shakespeare in text-speak, for example, loses something in the translation.

Sometimes staging an old Shakespearean play in a modern setting can enjoy a bit of success, like this Canadian version of Romeo and Juliet --

But the BEST way to make Shakespeare popular again is to stick Tom Hiddleston in a nice tight pair of jeans and have him play Coriolanus. No matter what incomprehensible Shakespearean folderol comes out of his mouth, the enraptured audience will understand what's really being said --

Yeah, baby, yeah, that's the ticket.

Hamlet's Soliloquy, Updated

Want a good laugh? Here's a hilarious version of Hamlet's famous speech "to be or not to be" as performed by the talented impressionist Jim Meskimen --



Watching this reminded me of a post I did a few years ago (back in the days before anyone actually read this blog, LOL) about a modern poem which paraphrases the same soliloquy. So what the hell, I'm into recycling -- here's that post again:

                               BBRNT2B? 2BORNOT 2BEE?
                               BBRNO2B? BBORNOT BEBE?
                               2BRNT2B? 2BRNTOB?
                               2BORWAT? CNTDCYD.
                               NDCISV. SLINGS. ARROWZ.
                               SEA OF TROUBLZ.
                               TODIE. PRCHNCE 2DREEEM.
                               YACKITY YACKYAK.
                               ITHINK 2MUCH. SHOULDI
                               MAYYBEE JSTDOIT?

                                                --Daniel Nussbaum,
                                                   from PL8SPK (HarperCollins, 1994)

Isn't this a great 20th century reinterpretation? Each of the poems in PL8SPK were written entirely from words and phrases contained on registered vanity plates in California. When I first read this poem 20 years ago, it seemed extraordinarily weird (if fascinating). It took me some major deciphering to be able to read it. But now in a culture of texting and even (dare I say it?) lolspeak, it looks pretty darn normal and hardly unusual. In fact, now it's easy to read! And it's still funny!

Slapping Tom Hiddleston

First, King Henry IV (Jeremy Irons) slaps the smirk off the face of his son Prince Hal . . .

. . . and then Dr. Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) does the same to the Norse trickster god Loki . . .

I detect a trend! Who will slap Tom Hiddleston next?

Why isn't Jeremy Irons knighted yet?

With all due respect, Betty Windsor -- git off yer royal duff, haul out ye olde sworde and knight Jeremy Irons already fer chrissakes! He's been one of Britain's best actors for over 30 years. Who can forget his stellar performances in films and series like Brideshead Revisited, The Mission, Reversal of Fortune, M. Butterfly, Lolita and The Borgias, to mention only a few? All the other finest British actors and actresses of his generation have been knighted already -- surely it must be his turn by now?

To top everything off, he recently turned in a stunning performance as Henry IV in The Hollow Crown BBC series of Shakespearian plays. Oh yes, all eyes were on up-and-comers Ben Whishaw and Tom Hiddleston, but it was Jeremy Irons who OWNED that series. No one else delivers Shakespeare like Jeremy Irons -- he always makes those incredibly complex lines sound like simple speech from an actual person. THAT'S the true measure of a great actor. In his intense scenes with Tom Hiddleston, Jeremy Irons' acting skill easily eclipsed that of the younger actor -- and we all know that Tom Hiddleston is no slouch in the acting department.

I admire Jeremy Irons so much I'm even willing to overlook his incredibly stupid views on same-sex marriage. THAT'S how good he is.

May he soon be SIR Jeremy Irons, as he so richly deserves.