Sunday 18 June 2023

"Roommates"

An all-too-common issue
in history books and biographies
is that historians are often
unable or unwilling to 
recognize or acknowledge 
same sex relationships of past eras.







Oh yes, Achilles and his lover Patroclus --



just a friendly reminder that june 6th, 1218 b.c. was identified as the day patroclus was killed by hector in the trojan war. patroclus died 3240 years ago today.

DURING PRIDE MONTH!??!?!


Want to read
a beautifully written novel
about their love story?

I highly recommend this one!


32 comments:

Old Lurker said...

There goes Debra, questioning the experts. If you can't trust mainstream historians then who can you trust?

Some context on the Dickinson thing: https://www.truthorfiction.com/i-tore-open-your-letter-and-licked-the-envelopes-seal-for-any-lingering-taste-of-you/

Bob said...

I had a friend talk lovingly of her uncle, who, sadly [her words] never married but did have a very best male friend and they did everything together for their entire adult lives.
I didn't have the heart to tell her.

Boud said...

So true. Even when the writers were sometimes, aware of the significance of the relationship, they were so ruled by the straight default.

Bea said...

Ah, bless...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ Old Lurker -- Thanks for the link. Yes, historians debate whether the relationship between Emily Dickinson and her sister-in-law Susan Gilbert Dickinson was sexual in nature or simply a "romantic friendship." There is a real tendency to infantilize single women of the past. I vote for sexual because I give them credit for being adults.

Lady M said...

Ha - Yes my husband's great aunt live with her room mate Midge for 40 years. The family still calls her "a friend".

Travel said...

People can be clueless. Jay and I lived together, moved to another state, owned homes together, after we married in 2015, my middle brother shyly asked, "does this mean you are gay or something?"

Moving with Mitchell said...

All so sad but true. SG and I have been roommates for nearly 42 years. We do just about everything together.

Adam said...

My grandmother's boyfriend is still called a friend by her because they're not married. Apparently he would lose his house if he got married because it was in his wife's will or something. I'm like Grandma we all know better

I guess all my Grinder "dates" in the past would be called by historians as "a plumber who went to clean the pipes".

angela said...

Oh yes. It’s called turning a blind bigoted eye
It just is astonishing just how selectively ignorant they can be

Bill Lisleman said...

The older I get the more I realize the history lessons in school were very biased toward "acceptable" views. I'm not sure where to draw the line on propaganda in those lessons.

Anonymous said...

The lens of history is cloudy with soot. Soot from the fires of burning passion. But, those assumptions still prevail today. A niece of my friend has lived with her 'roommate' for 15 years but her family persist in thinking that she hasn't found the right man yet. Lol.

Polly said...

hypocritical religion and politics has largely been responsible for denying same sex relationships.

Tundra Bunny said...

"Song of Achilles" has been in my pile of books to read for three years -- THANKS for the SPOILER, Debra!

roentare said...

You made your point. The love is in the air!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ Tundra Bunny -- Ya snooze, ya lose.

Ur-spo said...

Mr. Cuppy in his book 'the decline and fall of practically everybody' wrote about Mr. AT Great and his roommate whose name escapes me. Even as a boy I smelled a rat something was going on why two grown men would share lodgings.

Martha said...

HAHA! This is so true. I'm going to have to check out that book. Thanks for mentioning it!

Joanne Noragon said...

A girl I grew up with was gay. We figured it out in the sixties. When we had our 50th reunion we tried to persuade her and her partner to come. She declined all efforts, including sitting with my girlfriend and myself (both divorced). So, none of us went. Probably better that way.

peppylady (Dora) said...

I read the love letters of Vita West and Virginia Woolf. On my want to read list, I like to read sometime. Violet to Vita: The letter of Violet Trefusis to Vita Sackville- West.
Coffee is on, and stay safe.

Bracken Crafts- 100 garments said...

Very interesting. I know nothing about this story but will hunt down that book ( the Song of Achilles) and read it. Sounds like its something I should have already read.

Liz Hinds said...

I've read one of her books. I'll look out for that. And I'll try and find the story and house I'm thinking about . . .

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

HAHAHAHA

How DARE you! Some straights will have a fit if they read this post and their dreams will be forever shattered.

The willful erasure of queer relationships through history is notorious. I'm still cackling at the '...they were known for their dinner parties'.

LMAOOO

XOXO

This N That said...

There's a lot of denial going on out there..

Mr. Shife said...

Historians really need it spelled out for them, huh? Maybe they don't teach them how to read between the lines in college.

Ol'Buzzard said...

Or bi: He is friends with every body.
the Ol'Buzzzard

Kirk said...

History can sure be read differently when you know there's a gay subtext. The Army-McCarthy Hearings is a good example. Roy Cohn these days is almost unanimously considered to have been gay. When the army wouldn't let a man, G. David Schine, Cohn was particularly fond of serve stateside, he convinced his boss Joe to go after them for harboring communists.

Come to think of it, that's not the kind of LGBTQ history I really want to celebrate. Forget I said anything.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Historians in denial!
I remember my Grandma telling me about an older Uncle who was a confirmed bachelor; he baked the most elaborate cakes.
Me: Hmmm....I don't know that he was so much a bachelor.

Guillaume said...

I LOVED The Song of Achilles. Oh and regarding Adam and Eve, read Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess for a retelling of the Genesis with homosexuality and transsexuality added to the mix. Long story short, Eve is first created as a man and is turned into a woman after eating the fruit.

Richard said...

When my "roommate " died, the people were kind. They could see love. Also in my other language, we were como hermanos. So, that is how we dealt with that. You got any questions?

Rommy said...

I have Song of Achilles on my to-read list. I'm hoping the library has a copy I can borrow while on vacation.

I remember feeling particularly rageful when I found out how much queer history had been obscured. History is so much queerer than people realize.

Fundy Blue said...

What? Achilles isn't straight? ~ LOL ~ I'm getting "The Song of Achilles."