I was playing the role of a witness in a mock trial, and the young attorney kept asking the same question in a slightly different way, and I was struggling with an answer. Finally she said, "well tell us what you are thinking" and I said, "I was thinking you are such a bitch." Never ask a question you don't know the answer to. She was totally befuddled, she apparently had no idea how she was being perceived.
Codex A lawyers son starts working at his father's firm. He reviews the cases and exclaims dad this one has taken over ten years I know how we can finish it quickly. The father looks up:"God? what have I done wrong?!"
Debra, what area of law did you use to practice in?
@ Anonymous (Codex) -- When I was in private practice, I was a generalist doing a little bit of everything, but particularly wills & estates and family law. I spent the bulk of my career, however, working for governments and government agencies doing a specialized practice of legal policy development and legislative drafting.
So many good ones, Debra. I had heard of cow shoes but never seen them in person. That is bonkers. As a dad, the salt one really tickles my dad joke genes.
These are fabulous funnies. Every time I hear a joke about hummus-side, it reminds me of the line from "Another Stakeout" (Richard Drefuss, Emilio Estevez, Rosie O'Donnell). If you haven't seen this one or the first one, "Stakeout" (Richard Dreyfuss, Emilio Estevez, Madeleine Stow, and Aidan Quinn) you gotta check 'em out!
The cowshoes are interesting and funny! Our hard earned tax dollars educates criminal who does more stupid stuff. Sounds like a wonderful system!
I'm sorry for the late return visit, just been swamped these days. Have a good day!
cow shoes could make a comeback, I can see their potential for stalkers and burglars. The Vietnamese had sandals that left prints facing the opposite way so the Americans went in the wrong direction, I was amazed something so simple could fool them.
30 comments:
Teach a man to write and you'll get death threats! Teach a woman to write and you'll get her grandma's recipe for pound cake.
The hummuscide is a killer, now I regret eating that sandwich just now!
Salt is a deadly weapon....LOL I adore that.
...that carpet is a killer!
The groans came early this morning ... hummuscide.
The cat and prosecutor. That would be Dudo. These are so good (again). The cow shoes! Wow.
I was playing the role of a witness in a mock trial, and the young attorney kept asking the same question in a slightly different way, and I was struggling with an answer. Finally she said, "well tell us what you are thinking" and I said, "I was thinking you are such a bitch." Never ask a question you don't know the answer to. She was totally befuddled, she apparently had no idea how she was being perceived.
@ Travel -- Hahaha, yes, you gave her a graphic lesson in why you should never ask an open-ended question in cross-examination!
The cow shoes!!!!!!! But boy, you have been saving up some real gems of meme for some of these groaners.......that last one......
That carpet is the best!
Hahahaha
Fashion and crime?
A salt with a deadly weapon?
Hummuscide??????
XOXO
OMG. Thanks for the laughs. I really needed them.
the carpet is giving me headache.... it's like dazzle ships!!
I do not think I could walk on that carpet easily. I'd giggle a lot but walk, not so much.
Ok, these were all funny, definitely worth a guffaw. Love that divorce house...
Codex
A lawyers son starts working at his father's firm. He reviews the cases and exclaims dad this one has taken over ten years I know how we can finish it quickly. The father looks up:"God? what have I done wrong?!"
Debra, what area of law did you use to practice in?
@ Anonymous (Codex) -- When I was in private practice, I was a generalist doing a little bit of everything, but particularly wills & estates and family law. I spent the bulk of my career, however, working for governments and government agencies doing a specialized practice of legal policy development and legislative drafting.
Oh that carpet!
So many good ones, Debra. I had heard of cow shoes but never seen them in person. That is bonkers. As a dad, the salt one really tickles my dad joke genes.
Debra, thank you for the smile you gave us!!
Salt is definitely a deadly weapon!!
Hummuscide cracked me up :)
The cat wearing the evidence is priceless!
Cats are like that.
All very funny. especially the cat ones.
Salt is a deadly weapon only if one has an existing chronic renal injury
Remember when chickpeas used to be called garbanzo beans?Definitely a more apt moniker for those detestable, stinky things!
The cat's nose has me wondering, is cheese spread measured in kilos?
Good collection!
These are fabulous funnies. Every time I hear a joke about hummus-side, it reminds me of the line from "Another Stakeout" (Richard Drefuss, Emilio Estevez, Rosie O'Donnell). If you haven't seen this one or the first one, "Stakeout" (Richard Dreyfuss, Emilio Estevez, Madeleine Stow, and Aidan Quinn) you gotta check 'em out!
The cowshoes are interesting and funny! Our hard earned tax dollars educates criminal who does more stupid stuff. Sounds like a wonderful system!
I'm sorry for the late return visit, just been swamped these days. Have a good day!
cow shoes could make a comeback, I can see their potential for stalkers and burglars. The Vietnamese had sandals that left prints facing the opposite way so the Americans went in the wrong direction, I was amazed something so simple could fool them.
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