Tuesday 19 July 2011

My Cat the Foodie

Just like last year, Her Royal Highness and I are sharing meal prep duties while My Rare One is away. Actually, HRH rather fancies herself as a gourmet cook and has made outrageous promises about the delicious meals she'll be serving. Pretty big talk for a little cat, I say.

Anyway, her friend Gordon came over today to be her sous-chef in the kitchen while she cooked. Who knows where she meets these people?


Gordon seems like a nice enough guy but he does have a bit of an anger management problem. And he swears like you wouldn't believe. Always dropping the F-bomb. It's a good thing that HRH is no slouch in that department. In fact, she is more than a match for him.

So . . . things started off well enough. But inevitably, the bickering began. Two temperamental chefs in the kitchen is NOT a good idea.


Eventually, of course, it all degenerated into flying fur, razor-sharp claws and blue air. Gordon narrowly escaped leaving with a cleaver in his back. The last words out of him were that we would be hearing from his "fuckin' lawyers." Pffft! Wuss.

Unfortunately, none of the dishes turned out. Too much cilantro. HRH says she'll just open a can of something or another for our dinner. I sure hope she means Chef Boyardee.


27 comments:

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

Har har har har har....loved it! And I love a cat with attitude -- I've got two just like that. Thanks for the chuckle...a great way to start the day.

Jane said...

Lol, this was hilarious! I don't like cilantro either.

CorvusCorax12 said...

LOL...love it

mxtodis123 said...

This was too funny. Great way to start my morning. Thanks.
Mary

Magaly Guerrero said...

Ha! I, too, hate it when people go crazy with the cilantro; Her Highness has a point, I mean many points! Um, where is that meat cleaver anyway?

DEZMOND said...

hope HRH doesn't have a dirty mouth like that horrid and primitive Gordon person, after all, queens should always mind their manners!

Tricky Nag said...

It's possible to have too much cilantro?

The Dancing Crone said...

So much fun in one little blog! Thanks, Debra!

Anonymous said...

I always love coming here,, you have the best sense of humor,, and I have to say that comment about my grand daughter watching out for the teddy bears cracked our whole family up.Where do you come up with these thing!Todays post will keep me smiling all day,, thats some cat you have there,,

Winter Slytherin said...

Glad HRH can hold her own!

Sarah Sullivan said...

Giggle snort...and whoot for HRH!! Although...I do adore Gordon..and well the man is sexy somehow. But to send him packin' well ya just gotta respect any female that can hold their own in the kitchen!
Give here a snuggle for me!
Hugs, Sarah

Beatnheart said...

how’d ya get that apron on your cat?

jadedj said...

Well this answers a mystery that has been plaguing me for several weeks. There is no fresh cilantro to be found in the state of Nebraska... according to our local grocers. This has been going on since mid-June. Now I know where all of it is...in your kitchen. A pox on Gordon!

Helen said...

Like;)

Anonymous said...

Let's see if I can comment here...

Each Blogger comment box, is an experiment. :-)

Robin Larkspur said...

Deliciously droll, my dear!! And I would have given Gordon the cilantro where the sun don't shine. You go, HRH!

Kathy said...

How great that HRH attempts cooking. Our cat, Hannibal (and he lives up to his name...the dictator, not the cannibal) is now on a diet where he can eat only the real stuff and not cat food.

Although you're brave to have Gordon in your home. I don't even allow him on my television set.

jaz@octoberfarm said...

hahaha...HRH sends gordan packing!

-E- said...

i like that gordon doesn't pander to the english.

My Grama's Soul said...

Whenever I stop in....I always leave giggling.

Jo

Jeanne said...

I do believe that HRH needs her own cooking show! Maybe call it..."As the Tuna Melts"... You're always welcome over here for dinner in case HRH does open a can of something of questionable origins. :0)

karen said...

Hilarious kitty! I can relate to none of the dishes turning out...and unfortunately the can of chef boyardee. Purrr. The picture with the cat wearing the apron is adorable...how do people get their pets to pose like that? Must have been something really good waiting in the cup.

Anonymous said...

Gordon is one hot sexy motherfucker. He's got that accent and all those eff bombs. mmmmm, I need to go cool down. ; )

Frostbite and Sunburn said...

That effin Gordon, eh? Good for HRH for putting him in his place.

yellowdoggranny said...

gordon is batshit crazy..dexter would order in before he would cook.

Lois said...

I heard that Gordon was a real 'pussycat' in real life, must be mistaken...

Suzie Ridler said...

What a wild foodie she is! Oh dear, not sure we would get along in the kitchen but I do hope so. Lucky her to work with Ramsay!