The Big Sleazy, Chapter 5

When I came to for the second time, it was morning. I was back in my office, slumped over on the floor, bleeding quietly in the horizontal light-and-shadow patterns made by the window blinds.

My office had been thoroughly tossed, all the files opened and their contents dumped out, my couch cushions slashed to ribbons with a knife, the whole nine yards. Needless to say, the big briefcase with all the sweet, sweet money was gone.

She Who Seeks was sitting behind my desk in my office chair, idly playing with a big flashing crystal amulet hanging around her neck.

“Conscious again, are we?” she asked. “Hey, how do you like my Karmic Crystal of Justice? It looks damn good on me, don’t you think?”

“How did you get that?” I croaked.

“Got it last night off some mangy old wizard named Gandalf after he had an unfortunate accident while in the bathtub. Seems a plugged-in electric toaster oven somehow fell into the water with him. ZAP! And all of a sudden, the amulet needed a new home.”

She Who Seeks poked me in the ribs with the toe of her sensible shoe.

“We -- and by ‘we’ I mean the Translesbigay Mafia -- knew where the amulet was located all along, of course. But what we didn’t have yet was a patsy, a stooge, to take the fall for the murder. Say, you don’t look busy at the moment. You’ll do just fine.”

“You’ll never make it stick. I have witnesses and a rock-solid alibi for last night.”

She threw back her head and laughed.

[Story © Debra She Who Seeks, 2023;

Sailor Moon GIF courtesy of internet]