Of course that double-dealing, duplicitous lez lawyer DID make it stick. The Karmic Crystal of Justice ensured her invincibility in all legal matters. It only took the jury ten minutes to convict me. I didn’t stand a chance.
So now here I am in Pawshank Penitentiary, doing hard time for a murder I didn’t commit. I lie awake at night, plotting revenge that will never occur.
This is my life now.
Let it be a lesson to all you mooks out there who think you’re so hard-boiled and tough and streetwise. If it could happen to me, it can happen to you. Steer clear of the Translesbigay Mafia. They're ruthless.
My final case ought to be known as The Shamus and the Shyster. It was a match made in Hell. Or at least in Nightmare Alley.
Of all the private investigator joints in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into mine.
[Story, art and photo of art © Debra She Who Seeks, 2023]
47 comments:
Pawshank.
You're killing me.
And now His Royal Highness is confined to your house, wondering if he will ever be released, for a crime he swears he didn't commit.
👏 Well done, Debra.
Lol. Pawshank is purr-fect!
Too funny, all the way to the federal pokey. I hope when she gets out, there'll be a sequel. Or maybe she'll be smuggled out..
"Pawshank Penitentiary" ... you clever toots you.
Dashiel Who Seeks. Winner of the 2023 Edgar Award.
Well done Debra.
I am embarrassed I did not see the plot development re: the crystal. But that plot development undermines the story: if the femme fatale just outright murdered Gandalf and took the crystal, its possession meant She Who Seeks would have gotten off scot-free. Why bother with a patsy?
@ Old Lurker -- Logic? HA! I laugh in the face of logic! You expect too much of my plotting abilities.
Just say "YES!!!" to a sequel! I really enjoyed this ~ TFS
Spayed got played!
Thank you for taking this goofy suggestion and running with it! It's a winner and so are you, Debra!
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Loved all the left turns made to get back to the beginning. Very much a meow-full of a read.
Brava, Debra! I really enjoyed "The Big Sleazy".... even with the strong smell of a sequel in the air...
Spayed and her cellmate, El Crapo, tunnel out of Pawshank Penitentiary into the main sewage pipe, swim through a river of shit and escape to Mexico. Spayed gets to Panama, then on to Cuba where she hitches a ride back to Canada in a cigar shipment. Spayed forms her own gang and embarks on a campaign of revenge/harassment by crapping in all of She Who Seeks' orthopedic, er, sensible shoes....
I'll send that cat a poster of Rita Hayworth. Or maybe he'd prefer Morris.
Great story.
@ Tundra Bunny -- I don't need to write a sequel, you've already proposed the perfect one! Except for the crapping in my shoes part, lol.
Too soon for it to end. You have got to do this again.
Something tells me there is no cage that can hold HRH for very long.
Love the Orange Is The New Black uniform. Poor pussy.
But who will really get the final laugh?
I mean in the sequel, maybe HRH Sprayed will come back and haunt She Who Seeks and the Translesbigay Mafia and knock them off one by one?!?!?!?!
Bravo! (or is it brava?) You should think about writing and illustrating graphic novels!
@ Mistress Maddie -- Knocking off the Translesbigay Mafia one by one in the sequel? Hmmm, that would probably appeal to HRH.
Well that ended badly for the paw mook!
I wonder if he has a poster on his wall?
Loved the story. Thank you
Never say never - I want another book. One where revenge is served cold.
Did you spend a year writing out all your double entendres? This was so well done.
@ Joanne Noragon -- Hahaha, no, it took me about a week to write the story and do the illustrations.
Love the Pawshank Penitentiary :)
LMAOOO
Pawshank? I'm dying. That kitty is going to end using eating utensils to dig his way out, no??
XOXO
You can't leave him to rot in a penitentiary! You have to get him out!
Well, bad on me. I agree, too soon for this to end. I must go back and catch up. Is bail money in need? Because I can...I don't know, pull rank with HRH or something.
Wow.. nicely done Debra!
I'm just catching up and LOVED this. Brilliant. You are talented indeed. I now need to read more about my favorite hirsute hawkshaw. Please write more. (And special bonus points for the great illustrations!)
I'm not saying all cats belong in jail, but some do deserve it
*five seconds later, cat owners stab me to death
"
Pawshank Penitentiary---LOL!!
The poor Gumshoe didn't know what was coming from the likes of you!!
This was a fun story, and the artwork accompanying was perfect!
Oh excellent, excellent! A best seller for sure! Maybe adapted for a short ministries. Oh the possibilities!
Awesome, Debra! Waiting for the announcement of this new series on Netflix :)
I read the whole thing all at once. It was fun. Translesbigay Mafia - what a name! Poor HRH Spayed. For an investigator, he didn't do much investigating but he was probably dazzled by the money. Wonderful artworks.
Have a lovely day
Pawshank! LOL OK, so there HAS to be a breakout attempt in the sequel, right???
Today I finally managed to read the final chapters. And YES, I also think this calls for a sequel!
ALL THE BEST from Austria!
Traude
❤️
Entertaining from beginning to end, Debra! Poor Private Investigator HRH Spayed didn't have a chance.
There's got to be a sequel in the works.
Good Morning Vietnam: "The beaches were protected by dikes... Large women in sensible shoes saying don't go near the water."
Your cat detective story is great and you will do a sequel, yes?
@ The Blog Fodder -- You get the Grand Prize for recognizing the source of the "sensible shoes" reference! I was wondering if anyone was ever going to reference Robin Williams' immortal line! Well done!
Hey Doll face so ya know about Willym and the Hounds. Too bad 'cause now ya gotta suffer the consequences. Just be prepared to be licked to death those Hounds got rough tongues!
@ Willym -- Hahahahaha, there are worse ways to go!
Have you thought of doing a graphic novel.
Coffee is on and stay safe
you have multiple talents for sure dear Debra :)
enjoyed the read ,she will escape
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