HELLO, my many FANS and MINIONS. It is I,
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE CAT
bearing STUPENDOUS NEWS of GREAT IMPORT!
I have JUST WON the
VALENTINES DAY HATEFEST
POETRY CONTEST
held annually by Rawknrobyn of Life by Chocolate blog.
My winning
IMMORTAL POEM OF GENIUS
reads as follows --
Dedicated to all the many tomcats out there
who broke my heart over the years:
"This is for you
Without paradox --
A heart-shaped poop
In my litterbox."
ISN'T THAT GREAT?????
NO WONDER I WON!!!!!
My human, Debra She Who Seeks, also
entered an UNSUCCESSFUL poem in the contest
which (did I mention?) SHE LOST TO ME
but since I'm feeling
MAGNANIMOUSLY GRACIOUS
IN MY WELL-DESERVED VICTORY
I am including it here for your
PITYING PERUSAL.
Her PATHETIC ATTEMPT reads as follows --
"At least I have not quit.
I still have a chance.
At least I have not hit
The rock bottom of romance.
At least I'm not a total shit
Like couch fucker JD Vance!"
MY NEXT TRIUMPH will undoubtedly be
a LIFE APPOINTMENT to the PRESTIGIOUS POSITION of
POET LAUREATE OF THE WORLD!
In the meantime, please now feel free to
SHOWER ME WITH PRAISE AND ADMIRATION
in the Comments section.
I humbly thank you.
