Except in the frozen Arctic and Antarctic regions of the world, rats live everywhere on this planet EXCEPT in one Canadian province.
Yes, that's right. ALBERTA. We are the largest inhabited area on earth without rats.
For 75 years, the Alberta government has funded an extremely aggressive rat control program. Rats are highly destructive of any agricultural sector, consuming and contaminating stored grains and feed, gnawing tunnels and holes in buildings and equipment, and transmitting diseases via fleas and contamination. Even a small rat infestation can cost millions to the economy.
Alberta's official Rat Patrol Team monitors the province and eradicates rats before they can get established and reproduce. There are government hotlines for people to report any rat sightings. It is illegal in Alberta to own any kind of pet rat. Only frozen dead rats can be sold by pet stores as food for snakes. Scientific institutions, medical research facilities, and zoos are allowed to keep caged and monitored rats for authorized purposes.
So what's a poor rat gotta do to survive here? That question is answered by an excellent, laugh-out-loud theatre play which friends and I saw in April entitled Rat Academy.
Fingers, a curmudgeonly, mangey street rat, is the only rat still loose in Alberta. Or so he thinks. One day in a back alley in Edmonton, he discovers Shrimp, a happy-go-lucky, naive white lab rat who has just escaped captivity. Fingers creates his own Rat Academy to train Shrimp in survival skills -- how to sniff out food and humans, how to run, hide and fight, and how to avoid traps. In so doing, Fingers also trains the audience and reluctantly relies on their incompetent human assistance to street-proof Shrimp. The play is a crazy mix of scripted lines (including a Shakespearean soliloquy delivered by Shrimp), sassy improv, audience participation, and slapstick.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Just a couple of days ago, we attended its zany sequel -- Rat Academy 2: Gnaw and Order!
Fingers and Shrimp receive an Eviction Notice from the Province of Alberta to vacate their Edmonton alley home! Our heroes scheme to separate their alley from Alberta and make it their own country! But political infighting between the two rats scuppers that plan. Then things get worse! They receive an Evisceration Notice from the Rat Patrol Team! So what can they do except turn themselves into Lawyer Rats and go to court? Alas, they learn some Hard Lessons About Justice. This play ends on a cliffhanger, with the cop cars and sirens of the Rat Patrol closing in on Fingers and Shrimp.
Will there be a Rat Academy 3? Time alone will tell.
40 comments:
That's really interesting how Alberta has (almost) no rats. Except for Fingers and Shrimp. I bet those were both lots of fun to see.
...amazing!!!!!!!!!!!
So there ARE rats in Alberta, but they're celebrities so they get to walk amongst y'all!
Codex I think shrimp is a bunny and I'm not sure about the other one.
@ Anonymous (Codex) -- Careful! Fingers will BITE you for comments like that!
I agree with Anonymous Codex. I think Shrimp looks like a bunny ra[bbi]t. This sounds wonderful and like there will be Rat Academy 3.
You can't have a pet intelligent personable rat? That's sad. I hear the reasons, but why not an army of cats to hunt them? Oh right, cats don't do anything on command.
🤣 "Gnaw & Order!" These are their stories..."clung, clung!" 🤣
@ Boud -- Yes, there was a news item not too long ago about a teen girl and her pet rat who moved with her family from BC to Calgary. The Rat Patrol showed up at her door toute suite to confiscate her pet, much to her dismay. But the law is the law.
@ Cleora Borealis -- Oh yes, and they made GOOD USE of the "clung clung" sound effect!
That sounds so funny, Debra. I imagine Rat Academy 3 may be delayed for a while.
I hate rats. I loathe rats. I have a phobic fear of rats. It's called musophobia, by the way.
Maybe Shrimp will become Alberta's "Ratatouille" and open a Michelin star restaurant with Fingers as the bouncer? Given the Rat Patrol's high compliance rate though, I don't think this will end well for Fingers, but Shrimp might be able to get his old lab job back, LOL!
It can be done! Now, if only we had an equally effective Squirrel Patrol...
@ Tundra Bunny -- The first option is the most attractive for all concerned, even for the Province. Edmonton needs a Michelin star restaurant!
@ Guillaume -- You should move to Alberta then!
Hello Debra, It is good to know that there is some cleverness in the world outside of your blog, although of course it ended up here.
Oh my, that is so funny but also, no rats!! Dang, Alberta is A number one to me!
A play about rats! LMAO!!!!! And I did not know of the fun fact about Alberta having no rats. I guess you then have no fear of trump ever visiting!!!!! LMAO.
Some people say that Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is a rat and yet she is the political leader of your province. Do you think she is a rat Debra?
@ Yorkshire Pudding -- I would not so sully the good name of rats.
This is very interesting, Debra! I am one of the minority, perhaps, but I love rats. Hamsters are the first to bite, but people don't think of this because they are very cute.
Rats, on the other hand, are calm, sociable and very sweet. I have had a couple of rats as pets in my life and it's too bad their lifespan is so short.
I don't think I'd ever heard those facts about rats in Alberta. Damn. That's unbelievable.
Codex naahhh.
Fun fact rats are altruistic and empathy driven they will help a rat buddy in distress rather than eat their favorite treat and share their treats
Ha, I love Alberta's creatives!
We may not have rats...unless you count the separatists. Sigh.
Amazing! I didn't know that.
How fun! I never would have thought to come up with a play about rats.
Is that Alberta or Hamelin we're talking about here? And do the Rat Patrol members use flutes?
I dislike rats but think those shows would be very funny to watch.
Very interesting. I know they're vermin but I do like pet rats.
Dear friend Debra
Your post shared something that I might have missed otherwise so big thanks for incredible post
I enjoyed reading thoroughly but it saddened me for poor creature too
The play sounds very interesting and worth watching as your words bring enthusiasm and excitement to know what happens next
♥️
I guess the rat patrols work but what about turning loose "fixed" rats?
No rats! Brilliant. I think our minister of agriculture should contact your government and get some helpful information. We are currently heading into a rat explosion and as always will affect our farmers and food supplies.
We do not need anything else affecting our food supply
@ Mike -- The Rat Patrol's mandate is to exterminate, not sterilize.
wait.....
Oh, I did not know that about there being no rats in Alberta, Canada. That's interesting. The play sounds amazing! I love their names :)
Wow! We have Norway rats around out property; the cats have been pretty good at dispatching them. I had a cat years ago who would play with them (when cornered in the house!). Annually, I go around the house and hit any holes with spray foam.
Of course my first thought was "why are there no rats in Alberta?"..Read on Missy!!! Thanks for answering that!! Take a lesson...everywhere else..
How about all those looking to separate from Canada? Are they not considered rats??
@ Lady M -- As I said to previous commenter, I would not so sully the good name of rats.
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