Dick the Halls!

Okay, enough of those wholesome posts

about books and candy canes.

Let's get on Santa's Naughty List today!

And while we're in the neighbourhood, so to speak --

anafenza:

humming-bird-moth:

discoursestorm:

connyhascontrol:

I’m kinkshaming all of Germany

Is it better or worse if I tell y'all that “Nüsse” means “nuts”

Dicke means Fat or Thick

this post only gets worse

super dickman’s thick nuts

WTF Happened to Candy Canes?

When I was a kid way back in the mid-20th century,

candy canes only had RED stripes and 

ONE flavour -- PEPPERMINT.

Then, yeah okay, things got a little WACKIER and FANCIER

with the introduction of red AND GREEN stripes.

But there was still only ONE flavour -- PEPPERMINT.

Now in the 21st century, however,

the whole candy cane world

HAS GONE EFFIN' CRAZY!

Who the hell would want to eat any

of THESE flavoured candy canes?

Actually, My Rare One would probably enjoy

these next ones -- she LOVES Cinnabon!

So WHICH ONES, if any, would YOU eat?

Are there OTHER flavours you'd like to see on the market?

Any Book(s) On Your Xmas Wish List?

Bloggers tend to be big readers, I know.

Have you read all the Christmas classics?

If you haven't, don't feel bad --

here's a quick cheat sheet summary

of all their plots!

It's difficult, sometimes, to rein in

our bookish enthusiasms,

especially at Christmas, isn't it?

I'm sure you've all got at least one book

on your Xmas Wish List this year!

Here's mine --

Yes! The just-published memoirs of

my favourite Winnipeg Jet,

the Finnish Flash!

I'm pretty sure My Rare One will put it under the tree

for me. Especially since I drove her to Chapters to buy it and

gave her my Plum Rewards card to register the purchase points!

But don't worry, I'll act suitably surprised

on the morning of the 25th.

Okay, now tell us in the comments

what book(s) you've asked Santa to bring you!

Cats Versus Christmas Trees

Who isn't attracted by a

beautifully-decorated Christmas tree?

But for cats, Christmas trees are irresistible

in a whole different way.

Christmas trees bring out the criminals in them.

Even when cats are little angels,

they are little devils.

Predictably, of course, consumer culture

has to cash in on this phenomenon.

But don't worry! You need not

have a tree like this to thwart a cat!

You simply have to co-opt the furry little menaces!

And just for the record, dogs are

not necessarily trustworthy around trees either!

I was very lucky that Her Royal Highness

always left my Christmas tree alone.

In her 17 years with me, she never tried

to climb it and only ever broke

one Christmas ornament.

Countdown to Baby Cheesus!

Hey, look at this cool Advent Calendar

that My Rare One gave me!

Instead of chocolates or candies,

this one is filled with cheese!

British cheese!

She got it at Safeway apparently.

It looks pretty classy inside, actually.

Each window is numbered between

1 and 24 in a countdown to Christmas,

the birthday of Baby Cheesus!

The window for December 1st

contained Cheddar cheese, yum.

Forthcoming cheeses include:

Applewood

Red Leicester

Double Gloucester

Cheddar with Caramelized Red Onion Chutney

Wensleydale with Crystallized Ginger,

Biscuit and Candied Orange Peel

Wensleydale with Sweetened Dried Cranberries

Obviously, my prayers have been answered!

It's going to be a tasty month!

December ALREADY?

When it comes to celebrating Christmas/Yule,

I fall right in the MIDDLE of these two extremes.

I like the holidays, but I try not to OVERDO things.

"KEEP IT SIMPLE," that's my advice.

Like when it comes to DECORATING --

Well, maybe I'm SOMEWHAT of a hypocrite in this area --

There IS one area, however, where I DO go a bit wild.

I just LOVE Christmas carols and music! NON-STOP!

Time once more to dig out and play ALL my seasonal CDs!

Yes, from one EXTREME to the other,

Bing Crosby to Boney M!

Or how about THIS album which lays a little FUNK and RAP

on that WHITE BOY HANDEL.

LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!

Gobble 'Til You Wobble!

Don't worry, I'm not going to nag everyone

with gratitude memes like I did with

my Canadian Thanksgiving post.

No, I'm going to mark American Thanksgiving

with a bunch of crazy LOLs instead!

Canadians aren't the only ones who don't

celebrate Thanksgiving in November.

The Brits, for example, take

an entirely different view of the occasion --

And speaking of the Pilgrims . . . .

And like every holiday, who does all the work?

The workload can be lightened by having

everyone bring something for the meal.

 A Thanksgiving celebration

is all about good, clean fun. Isn't it?

And remember -- Thanksgiving is
for the whole family!

Above all else, you know the topics to avoid today!

And speaking of politics --

Happy Thanksgiving,
American friends!