Friday, 17 January 2020

The Truth About Tai Chi


I've been doing tai chi for a year and half now. It's been an eye-opening experience, I must say.

When I started, I was under the naive impression that tai chi was a meditative experience promoting love, peace and zen. Who knows where that idea came from? Probably from watching tai chi's slow and deliberate movements.

This view was reinforced by the charming and seemingly spiritual names for some of tai chi's forms (movements) -- "White crane spreads its wings" -- "Part the wild horse's mane" -- "Fair lady works at shuttle" -- "Step back, ride the tiger" -- "Wave hands like clouds" -- "Playing the lute."

Imagine my surprise to learn that tai chi is nothing of the sort. It is firmly rooted in martial arts. Every form is a fighting move, either defensive or offensive in nature. Like other Asian martial arts, the weapons used are hands and feet. Swords are also used in some tai chi routines. Fans, too. Weaponized fans.


This unexpectedly violent truth was brought home to me when I was learning a tai chi sword routine. I wasn't lifting my sword high enough in one particular form. The teacher grabbed my wrist and forcefully thrust my sword upwards.

"Higher, higher!" she said. "This is a throat slash!"

Yikes.

Now I know why gentle and meditative tai chi is sometimes called "how to kill someone in slow motion."

Tuesday, 14 January 2020

Llama Llove


Following the Llamakah card sent by my sister,
My Rare One also gave me a card featuring llamas!

Isn't it cute?





Hey, how'd that guy sneak in?



Okay, that's all the bad puns I've got on this topic.

See you later --

Friday, 10 January 2020

LET JUSTICE PREVAIL!


YES! It's time for the
TRIAL OF THE CENTURY,
as promised!

And I, Her Royal Highness the Cat,
am the PROSECUTING CATTORNEY.

All rise! Court is now in session,
JUDGE JUDY presiding.


Debra She Who Seeks: Oh oh.

Judge Judy: Are the members of the jury
ready to hear the evidence?

Jury Members: Yes, Your Honour, we're ready.


Debra She Who Seeks: Oh oh.

Prosecuting Cattorney: Your Honour, today I will prove
beyond a reasonable doubt the actual reasons
why the accused, Debra She Who Seeks, is
scarcely reading any real books anymore!

Jury: (audible gasp)

Prosecuting Cattorney: Debra She Who Seeks,
you say your reading of books has diminished
because life and other legitimate obligations 
simply get in the way.

Debra She Who Seeks: Yes, I am a very busy woman
despite being retired. I go to tai chi, I take art lessons
and bridge lessons too! I just don't have
any TIME to read!

Prosecuting Cattorney (pointing an accusatory paw):
But do you not spend hours on the internet every day
reading OTHER PEOPLE'S BLOG POSTS?

Debra She Who Seeks: Well, yes, but . . . but . . . .



Prosecuting Cattorney (whirling to face the jury):
And what about the time you waste on
(visibly shudderingCOMIC BOOKS?

Debra She Who Seeks: Now just wait a minute here!
I only read one collected edition all year long --
Captain America Vol.1: Winter in America! 


Prosecuting Cattorney: But you intend to read
all the subsequent volume(s) too, don't you!

Debra She Who Seeks (hanging head): Yes.


Prosecuting Cattorney (purring dangerously):
But now we come to the most EGREGIOUS
TIME WASTER of all, don't we?

Debra She Who Seeks (primly): I'm sure I have
no idea what you're alluding to.

Prosecuting Cattorney: One word!
And that word is FANFICTION!

Debra She Who Seeks (visibly shaking): No, no!

Prosecuting Cattorney (triumphantly): 
Yes, yes! ENDLESS HOURS spent on
the internet reading FANFICTION SMUT
about Captain America and the Winter Soldier!


Prosecuting Cattorney (mockingly):
"Oh, Steve!" "Oh, Bucky!"
"Smooch, smooch, smooch!"


Debra She Who Seeks (sobbing hysterically):
Yes, yes, it's all true!
I can't . . . I can't help myself!
I just love those kinky boys too much!


Judge Judy: Well, I think we all know what this means.




Judge Judy: And now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
it is up to you to decide whether Debra She Who Seeks
should be acquitted or convicted of the
crime of not reading enough real books.
And, if convicted, what should her sentence be?

Debra She Who Seeks: I fling myself
on your mercy, oh wise and compassionate jury!


So what's your verdict?

Wednesday, 8 January 2020

My Resolutions -- #3: Read More Books!

The Dream . . . .


The Reality . . . .



And now, it's shameful true confessions time --
despite my vow last year to read more books in 2019,
I only completed (*sob*) one book all year!

Yes -- only one -- Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett,
which I read after watching the fabulous mini-series made from it.

And while I enjoyed the book very much,
I did (quite frankly) enjoy the mini-series more.


There are just so many, many reasons
why my reading has dropped off the scale . . . .




A CAT? Wait one DAMN minute!


Time for an INTERVENTION by MOI,
Her Royal Highness the Cat!


I know the REAL REASONS that
Debra She Who Seeks hardly reads
any books anymore!

And I shall expose the whole ugly truth
in the NEXT POST, which shall be . . . 

THE TRIAL OF THE CENTURY!

And you, her readers, will be THE JURY!


DON'T MISS IT!!!!!