It's National Bad Poetry Day Today!

We all know that poets and poetry

get virtually no respect these days,

either in life . . . 

. . . or in death.

But today on National Bad Poetry Day,

they get even less respect than usual!

So to mark this auspicious occasion,

here are some famous poems turned into bad poetry

simply by being rewritten as limericks,

that lowest of all poetical forms

(courtesy of The Poetry Collection blog) --

The Raven

There once was a girl named Lenore

And a bird and a bust and a door

And a guy with depression

And a whole lot of questions

And the bird always says “Nevermore.”

Footprints in the Sand

There was a man who, at low tide
Would walk with the Lord by his side
Jesus said “Now look back;
You’ll see one set of tracks.
That’s when you got a piggy-back ride.”

Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

There once was a horse-riding chap
Who took a trip in a cold snap
He stopped in the snow
But he soon had to go:
He was miles away from a nap.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

There was an old father of Dylan
Who was seriously, mortally illin’
“I want,” Dylan said
“You to bitch till you’re dead.
“I’ll be pissed if you kick it while chillin’.”

I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud

There once was a poet named Will
Who tramped his way over a hill
And was speechless for hours
Over some stupid flowers
This was years before TV, but still.

And what's this?

A mathematical limerick?

Despite everything that's been said in this post

to commemorate National Bad Poetry Day,

let's end on a positive note and

recognize the true value of poets and poetry!

Good Bingo Juju

In Vancouver, we visited My Rare One's Auntie Olga, who is a big fan of bingo. So one evening we tagged along to the Croatian Community Centre and played bingo with her and about 500 other hopefuls. Here we are setting up and waiting to buy our bingo cards. Thank goodness Auntie Olga was well supplied with daubers so she had more than enough to go around.

As you undoubtedly know, all bingo players have little good luck charms and tokens that they set out on the table to attract good bingo juju. So I dug around in my purse and managed to come up with my own little collection -- part of a Moon Card from the Voyager tarot deck, a Thor's hammer pendant, a triple-spiral goddess rock, a key to some long forgotten door, and a rather grimy little quartz chip. You will note that I also hogged the rainbow dauber, of course.

My Rare One and I were comfortable playing up to six bingo cards at a time but more than that did not go well. When playing nine cards, we'd get behind and miss numbers. Auntie Olga played a dozen or more cards with ease, of course.

Alas, the bingo gods did not smile on us that evening. We won nuttin, my friends, NUTTIN. But we had a good time with Auntie Olga and that's the important thing!

[Photos by My Rare One, August 2019]

Birds of Vancouver

So let's start off with a BIRDS-EYE view of Vancouver, British Columbia. My Rare One and I just got back from visiting friends and family there.

While kicking around Chinatown, we saw this lovely CHICKEN mural which I really liked, probably because my Chinese astrological sign is the Rooster.

One of the things we did was to visit the Bill Reid Gallery of Northwest Coast Art in downtown Vancouver. Bill Reid was the greatest of all Haida Indigenous carvers and artists. This magnificent RAVEN stands at the apex of his huge totem pole in the Gallery.

Like BIRDS OF A FEATHER, My Rare One and I flocked together with more than half a million other people at the Vancouver Pride Parade on the August long weekend. We had a great time! And look at the beautiful bejewelled plumage that I found for myself! Yeah baby yeah, I got my rainbow bling on!

[First photo from the internet; all other photos by My Rare One, August 2019]

Adventure Calls!

I'll be back later in August!

See you then!

Hardcore Unicorn Sweetness

We ALL know WHY there are
NO unicorns in the world, DON'T we?

But that's FAKE NEWS, my friends.

Here's what REALLY happened.

It's undeniably true that everything

UNICORN FLAVOURED is

SWEET and DELICIOUS.

Whether it's for KIDS . . .

. . . or for ADULTS.

But BE CAREFUL how you indulge!

Alas, unicorns' inherent sweetness and naivety
can have some DRAWBACKS
when operating in the REAL WORLD.

And speaking of Steven . . .

It was Steven of Sooooo This is Me who
sent me the following unicorn video.

But I must WARN you!

IT'S TOOTH-ACHINGLY SWEET!

WATCH AT YOUR OWN "NEW AGE-Y" RISK!

Thanks, Steven, you sweetly sarcastic little rainbow, you!

Time for a Pizza Party!

ALWAYS read the FINE PRINT!

Pizza is not just for EATING anymore!

It's a great LIFESTYLE ACCESSORY too!

The Vikings Are Here

The Royal Alberta Museum here in Edmonton currently has a wonderful exhibition called Vikings: Beyond the Legend. It's the largest touring show of Viking artifacts in the world and is on loan from various Danish museums. The exhibition is a mixture of original historical items like weapons, coins, jewelry, etc. and some replicas like this full-size, six-metre funeral ship shown above, built with Viking Age techniques and materials.

The originals are all safely out of reach in display cases, of course, but the freely accessible replicas are also protected, LOL --

A couple of weeks ago, My Rare One and I made a point of going to a special "Vikings Day" at the museum because, in addition to the exhibition, an Alberta group of Viking re-enactors were there, displaying how Vikings lived, played and fought. Displays included weaponry, runes, jewelry making, gaming, carpentry, agriculture, herbal lore, etc.

One of my favourite displays concerned how the Vikings engaged in bee-keeping as part of their agriculture. After all, they did love their mead!

But my most favourite display was about Viking musical instruments. These included stringed instruments made of wood with gut strings, which were plucked like lyres or played with horsehair bows. Beautifully clear and melodious flutes were made of animal horns and bones. The re-enactor at this display could play them all!

This big and extremely loud wooden Viking horn struck me as being very similar to a Swiss alpenhorn. Those Vikings did get around, you know.

The re-enactors also staged some fights to demonstrate shield wall techniques and the use of common Viking weapons (axes, spears, swords). Then they gave foam rubber swords to all the little kids in the audience, who viciously ambushed and defeated the unarmed Vikings in a mighty battle.

It goes without saying, of course, that the fiercest Viking couple was this threatening, fist-shaking pair in their helmets and warrior garb --

And no, that is not a floral motif on My Rare One's blouse. It is the freshly shed blood of her enemies.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

[All photos were taken by My Rare One, except for the last one which was taken by our buddies the Valhalla Valkyries.]