Get Ready to Groan, Part 1

Well, it's time again to do ANOTHER post featuring outrageous PUNS and atrocious WORD PLAY! Actually, I have enough for TWO posts -- there'll be a second one on Friday. You're welcome!

Oh, you thought that last one was in POOR TASTE? Well, hang on to your hats! This next one is dedicated to Rawknrobyn of Life by Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel's Blog because she is THE QUEEN of Erotic Double Entendre Holiday Poetry!

And as always with these word play posts, I must end on an APOLOGETIC note --

DIY Infinity Gauntlet

Who WOULDN'T want the Power of the Universe at their personal beck and call by possessing the Infinity Gauntlet? Well, now YOU TOO can have one! And there's NO NEED to run around the universe collecting all those pesky Infinity Stones -- Do-It-Yourself Infinity Gauntlets are the LATEST RAGE!

You can go the MINIMALIST route --

This next one will cost you less than 5 BUCKS!

How about this model? You're not using that OVEN MITT anyway.

BALLOONS, anyone?

Put your kids' LEGO to good use!

Mmmmm, how about a nice CAKE?

Then you could have the Power of the Universe INSIDE YOU!

Personally, I'm going to TRADE IN

my purple knitted fingerless gloves . . . 

. . . for THIS BABY!

Bwahahaha! FEAR ME.

Have You Hugged Your Unicorn Today?

While re-indexing old posts, it has come to my attention that I have not blogged about unicorns since 2013 -- SIX YEARS AGO!

How can this be?

I must jump in my UNICORN CAR and REMEDY the situation at once.

Unicorns get such a BAD RAP in our society. Their CUTENESS prevents them from ever being taken SERIOUSLY.

Plus, unicorns are CONSTANTLY HARASSED by narwhals and their lawyers. It's a VENDETTA, I tellz ya!

And yet, WHO AMONG US does not love unicorns? The whimsy and charm of unicorns can bring a smile even to the most HARDENED of HEARTS.

So just let me end on a POETIC NOTE --

Actually, more than a whole BAGFUL of them!

SPARKLE ON!

Do You Play Bridge?

My Rare One and I love to play cards -- Cribbage and Hand-and-Foot Canasta are our personal favourites, although we have been known to play other games on occasion as well, like Euchre and Rummoli. When I was a kid at home, we played Whist almost exclusively -- it was my Mom's favourite. She was also a menace at Gin Rummy, although I could defeat her occasionally at Crazy Eights.

My Rare One and I have just taken on a new challenge -- we have signed up for beginners' Bridge lessons at the Edmonton Bridge Centre! I am feeling a bit of trepidation about it, given Bridge's reputation for difficulty, but I'll give it my best shot.

Why Bridge, you ask? We are good friends with another lesbian couple -- let's just call them the Valhalla Valkyries -- who are avid Bridge players. They have encouraged us to take up the game. I'm not sure what it's going to be like playing Bridge whilst screaming through the skies of battle on horseback but how bad could it be?

Monday, Bloody Monday

Ugh, it's Monday morning once again. This calls for serious prayer.

And if the Divine does not answer our prayers, 

let's call on the Other Guy.

Coffee is a human need that's as old as we are.

Maybe even older.

It's what we need to kickstart the old bods.

If we don't have time to make coffee at home,

let's get it at a coffee shop!

Although commercial coffee is expensive . . . 

. . . and can be very frustrating to order.

No matter how we do it, getting some coffee inside us

is our only must-do goal for the day.

You know it's true.

The Books I Read Last Year

When I was a kid, I was an absolutely voracious reader. This lasted right up until I graduated from university. But alas, as soon as I was out working full time in the real world, the available hours I had for pleasure reading dwindled dramatically.

During the last year of my career in 2017, I only managed to read seven books for pleasure.

SEVEN!

But I had big plans for a turnaround in 2018, my first year of blissful retirement, free at last from competing demands on my time!

So, how many books did I read in 2018?

SEVEN! 

Oh, the humiliation of it all!

But, for the record, here are the seven books I read in 2018. All of them are novels --

1. Ann Patchett, The Magician's Assistant

2. Rick Riordan, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: The Hammer of Thor

3. Ed McBain, The Gutter and the Grave

4. Karen Connelly, The Change Room

5. Madeline Miller, Circe

6. Miriam Toews, All My Puny Sorrows

7. Beverley McLachlin, Full Disclosure

Do I really have to tell you what my ambitions are for this year, 2019?

All Together Now: Awwwwww!

I love photos of kids dressed up as favourite superheroes and recently, I've come across two such photos that have just knocked my socks off!

Isn't this baby girl the cutest little Wonder Woman you ever did see?

And look at this awesome fusion of superhero and indigenous imagery in the pow-wow regalia of a little Captain America dancer and his Winter Soldier drummer!