Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Food, Glorious Food!

Insulting the Irish in last week's St. Patrick's Day post got me thinking. Why not insult MORE nationalities? YEAH! And you know, nothing is more ripe for satire than a country's CUISINE, right? So here we go!

Let's start with everyone's FAVOURITE country, the good ol' You Ess of Eh, eh?


And those Irish are almost TOO easy to make fun of, aren't they?


But then, so are the SCOTS.



And my beloved UKRAINIANS shouldn't get off lightly either.


By the way, may I just take a moment to mention a PET PEEVE of mine? I often hear people pronouncing "kielbasa" as keel-BASS-ah when every good Ukrainian or Ukrainian wannabe like me KNOWS that it's really pronounced KOO-bass-ah. Even WOLVERINE (that good Canadian boy) knows how to pronounce it correctly so SHEESH, people, get with the program!


Not surprisingly, Sweden and England are about to have a COOK-OFF for the title of World's WORST Cuisine.


To be fair, I must be EVEN-HANDED in this post and mock CANADA's contribution to culinary bad taste as well. So here's a replica of the Stanley Cup made entirely of DONUTS.


Yes, we take hockey SERIOUSLY in Canada, goddammit!


And let's not forget POUTINE!


Hell, we're lax with LABELING LAWS too. G'day, mate!


46 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

bwhahahahahaha! in some parts of the USA, that breakfast is not too far fetched.

british food - boiled shoe leather.

those better be tim horton donuts on that trophy!

Lynn said...

Mmmmm...bacon. :)

Miss Val's Creations said...

These are fantastic. I love the Jesus pancake. Americans do have a way with finding him on edible items. I would fit in well in Scotland!

Bob Slatten said...

To be fair, THIS American doesn't have guns with breakfast.
Guns are for lunch.
Breakfast is knives, bats, tire irons, clubs, brass knuckles and the like.
Just sayin'.

DEZMOND said...

we say KOBASICA in my language, not that I eat the crap

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

Koobassah. Yep. That's the proper way to pronounce it. I like the Ukrainian lunch....another perogy. I would need a bit of sour cream for those perogies tho... Too bad there is no compartment for farmer's sausage. Its all delicious!

Anna of Mutton Style and Years said...

I don't see English roast tatties there. Hmmm

Joanne Noragon said...

I get up to eat breakfast. If I'm meeting someone for breakfast, I eat first. Can't have too many breakfasts.

Susan said...

Was that a Jesus muffin with that US of Ugh breakfast? Thanks for the laughs.

Harry Hamid said...

In the US, breakfast is the most dangerous meal of the day.

jaz@octoberfarm said...

in my neck of the woods it's pronounced....keel-boss-eee!

Marie Smith said...

Lol. I never could see the fascination with poutine but then again, I came from a people who eat cod tongues.

Leeanna Henderson said...

You are still bitter over the U.S. keeping the trophy aren't you. Well, y'all ain't getting it back. So there, pftftftfftffftftftftffftt ; P

Oh, and for the most part, here in Texas they have steak and eggs for breakfast with a heaping side of AR-15's. What better for dumb-ass Republicans to shoot their big mouths off with.

Jim Serrett said...

That is just so stereotypical and insulting,
steak and lobster for breakfast!

That’s lunch, brunch maybe,.. but definitely -not breakfast, you must think we are just uncivilized.

Linda Wildenstein said...

Oh My! Being of Scotch/Irish decent on me mum's side, I'll take the booze cruise. And Mexican/Hispanic/whatever it is correctly called at this hour, I see you had no satirical nod to the south/south of your border...ya shoulda...cilantro is evil. As to the bland food nod to England, ain't it the truth.
Good job making the playing field even for others foods. Sorry gotta scoot, my food and guns are getting cold.

Suzie Ridler said...

Absolutely hysterical and damn, I have been pronouncing that sausage's name wrong my whole life, crap! BTW, I want that Ukrainian breakfast.

Toni said...

You are too much! I love it!

brewella deville said...

Being an American of the Southern California variety, if it isn't a taco, it isn't breakfast.

That said, I don't know why drive-through pierogi stands are not in every state of the union.

Adam said...

I saw two Canadians on social media who didn't like PM Trudeau, both were from Alberta. Let's pick up some land and merge it with Texas.

Magaly Guerrero said...

The last one made me roar.

mistress maddie said...

I personally don't see the problem with the Irish and Scots food.

Hula La said...

Now that was downright entertaining...and now I want bacon and a Guinness! Oh boy!

Janie Junebug said...

I now know I've spent my entire life mispronouncing kielbasa. Oh, the shame. The thought of haggis has always frightened me. When my daughter went to school at Cambridge, she said the formal dinners always consisted of many courses, each with a tiny bit of food, but copious amounts of wine. The bit of food with lots of wine is probably to help hide how bad the food is.

Love,
Janie

Holly said...

LMAO! This one might be my favorite post of your for all time! Love it and you. Thank you and blessings for giving me that laugh!

Ol'Buzzard said...

I went to a Chinese restaurant in Kentucky and they were playing country and western on the speakers and two of the dishes were mashed potatoes and gravy. Everyone was eating the meats and mashed potatoes and gravy.
the Ol'Buzzard

Ol'Buzzard said...

I have got to admit the bacon and egg looks good.
the Ol'Buzzard

Birdie said...

This is a great post! The Jesus toast is hilarious.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

BAHAHAHA! These were hilarious. That pizza delivery....bahahaha... That would happen!

dbs said...

Lol at the Scots pic! Love it.

Hindustanka said...

Hilarious... But some things are sometimes true;)) It is Kolbasa :P

Mark said...

Canada, Australia, what's the difference? Other than the climate...the wildlife...the people...the location...Okay so there's a lot of differences, but I trust both countries. At least they aren't France.

Elsie Amata said...

Did you break into my kitchen? Oh wait, if you did, there would be no more bacon. Silly me. ;)

e said...

That bacon looked nice and crispy!

The Ukrainian breakfast was missing an important ingredient: potatoes. Also known as 'second bread' according to my beloved Ukrainian relatives.

And, yeah, customer is not leaving the house! PRIORITIES!

Thanks for the lolz, Debra!

Rain said...

Very cute Debra :)) Anyone can make fun of poutine all they want and I'll be laughing all the way to deliciousness!!! :)

Debi said...

Closest to The Stanley we will get! Another post right! Hate food, hate thinking about it, hate shopping for it EXCEPT French fries 🍟 Only if they know how to deep fried in proper grease!
Hi! missed Ya! Sun shining and bought a new sun hat! Huge hugs from the boring North Pole Ontario

Missy George said...

Too much food for me, thanks ;) The bacon looked good..crispy..just the way I like it..BLT's!!!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Haha. There's a world of difference between Canada and Australia, eh? I'd like a piece of that Stanley Cup.

Cheers, Debra. Very fun stuff.

Professor Chaos said...

This reminds me of the time Conan O'Brien set out to insult every nation on Earth alphabetically.

That Ukrainian lunchables looks good, though!

AntiquityTravelers said...

ok, so here is a fun one. The Finns link to throw sausage on the fire in the sauna (akin to Kielbasa) to cook it while you bath. Seriously. They call it "Sauna linky" and I'm sure I haven't spelled that correctly - LOL

Magic Love Crow said...

These are too hilarious! LOL! Were the donuts from Tim's??? LOL! I will take one of the lunchables for Ukrainians, with some sour cream please!

Melancholy and Menace said...

Ha! Bloody brilliant :)

Cheryl said...

It's so nice of you to spread the insults around a bit. As I am Scot-Irish by heritage and live in the US...you have me covered rather decently.

That label that shows "Canada or Australia" is hilarious. So much for truth in labeling.

Linda @ Life and Linda said...

Goodness Debra, love Shakespeare's makeover. Definitely got my giggles today.

Fundy Blue said...

Love this! Especially the pizza receipt! And the real American breakfast!

The Happy Whisk said...

I loved the chef one the best (of course), followed by the pierogies (of course).

Great stuff. So funny.

The Captain said...

Not forgetting the traditional British dish of Chicken Tikka Masala.