Monday, 4 March 2013

What the Vatican needs . . .

. . . is a good clean-out of all that same old, same old crap! But unfortunately, it's not going to happen in the upcoming papal election. John Paul II and Benedict XVI have seen to that.


Every single cardinal who will vote for the next pope was appointed by the last two popes. And John Paul and Benedict were careful to select only men who, like themselves, adhere to rigidly orthodox doctrinal conservatism.

So it will be medieval business as usual at the Vatican under the new pope, whoever he turns out to be. No other outcome is possible.


Thanks, Grumpy Cat, even you would be a better pick. My Rare One and I have already done all that we can to reform the Roman Catholic church. In 2008, we infiltrated the Vatican while on a trip to Italy and reclaimed it for Magna Mater, the Great Mother, by placing small images of the Goddess of Willendorf inside St. Peter's (click here and here to read of our espionage, if you're interested).


A big dose of the Divine Feminine would do all those Vatican boys good. Like the swiftest of swift enemas, She would clean out, in a mighty whoosh, all their intolerance, misogyny, homophobia and criminal willingness to protect pedophile priests.

41 comments:

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

Love these cartoons!

And I totally agree. A dose of the Divine Feminine would do a world of good for all those Vatican boys.

I cast my vote for Grumpy Cat!

Snap said...

Amen!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

someone needs to torch that place!

Elsie Amata said...

I guess an American cardinal is out of the question too, huh?

Elsie Amata said...

*pope* not cardinal - sorry Migraine day...

Sulky Kitten said...

You're absolutely right! No matter who they elect, the system will remain the same. It is totally corrupt.

DEZMOND said...

next time you do some infiltration into Vatican call me and my penguin team. We shall help you infiltrate it in big style!

Linda Wildenstein said...

the whole business is like watching a slow motion train wreck over and over...........same input, same outcome. But that institution isn't any different than all the other corrupt machines we live under....Only difference is that these guys party "old school", like really old school.
So the new guy will get to wear the ruby slippers and jeweled crown and bemoan the suffering of the poor....yep, it's an oldie but a crime against humankind.

A Beer For The Shower said...

Sure, they're known for intolerance, misogyny, homophobia and criminal willingness to protect pedophile priests... but free crackers on Sunday. That's kinda cool, right?

Miss Val's Creations said...

Haha! This is a riot! I would love to see Grumpy Cat take over.

Cheryl said...

I think Grumpy Cat looks awesome in his papal gear. Can he speak in multiple languages? If so, I think he is a real contender.

Leeanna Henderson said...

Darlin the church is so freakin corrupt that the Italian Mafia calls them for backup.

This is an Italian Good Ol' Boys Club. They won't change their ideas on anything and if they do it will take hundreds of years to do it.

Look at what happened with Galileo. He was finally exonerated by Pope Paul II for heresy by the church in 1633 for his writings on the universe.

You can see how freaking long it took them to say they were wrong then. So are they going to say sorry to Pagans now for building their HQ on our Magna Mater. Hell no. They have better things to do like playing with little alter boys and stealing money.

Your espionage episode at the Vatican was fun reading. I could hear little whispers of the "Mission Impossible" theme going on in my head. Were you thinking the same thing? BWAAHAHAHAAHAAA!

Herobrine said...

È necessario scegliere "Gatto Grumpy"!

Southpaw said...

I cast my vote for Grumpy Cat too!

Katy Anders said...

Haha! Uh oh.

Some priests wearing bullet proof vests will be arriving at your home shortly...

Jeanne said...

HRH needs to go undercover and help change the inevitable outcome of the upcoming papal election. Maybe she could help get Grumpy Cat elected!

Workingdan said...

All hail Grumpy cat!

Melanie said...

All hail Pope Tard I!!

Professor Chaos said...

I think what the Catholic Church really needs now is a RICO suit. They've become an organizatiton wose main goal seems to be covering up for and protecting the worst kind of criminals. I say shut 'em down!

Samantha Stephens said...

Why on earth would they change? They've got the power, the money, they are "thought police" and "sin pointer-outers." Theirs is the kingdom. If only everyone could step back and see how wrong this is - I don't begrudge them a god, but why oh why must he be a single parent? Why do they go out of their way to not need the FEMALE? It is amazing to me that women even darken the door of christian churches. (of course, I was once like that - looking for god/good in all the wrong places)... those guys do not like women... SORRY, you pushed the button... must run.

Nina Gray said...

ha ha I vote for the grumpy cat too.. LOL

Riot Kitty said...

I'd rather have Tardar Sauce. Don't get me started. I considered an entire post about this but didn't want to spew negativity.

JACKIESUE said...

I'd like some good guy to get snuck in as pope and say;no more dresses, no more unmarried priest, we recommend birth control and let women give mass.

Doug Jamieson said...

You all realize that if you were living 500 years ago, the Spanish Inquisition would be taking an interest in your views, so I suppose there has been some progress.

Lois said...

So sweet, love this! Married into the biggest 'traditional' RC catholic in the world. Got old fast. lol

c. Joy said...

Just read your Vatican adventures - wow! And a December 2008 post on women's spirituality. Touched a nerve I didn't know I still had. Of course, now I've forgotten what the original post was about - a cat or something? Just kidding. I'm having a little trouble with "it's God's will." Last two popes have used it to do what they wanted. One to stay in office and the other as he retired. Curious.

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

I think Grumpy Cat would make an excellent pope ... at least I assume he would. I really don't have any idea what the pope actually does.

Elena said...

LOL! Too funny! And loved your infiltration posts...how'd I miss them? But I'm surprised you didn't get caught and ended up 'lost' in the catacombs! Would have loved to see reaction of those who found them ;)

Em said...

The minute they stopped worrying about protecting children they became a dead institution. They just don't know it.

SUZY8-TRACK said...

Seriously, Grumpy Cat would be the best choice! Being raised Catholic and dealing with priests who have a holier than thou attitude towards their congregations, I'm finished. The Catholic church really needs to wake up and smell the 21st Century! Times have changed, and if they don't roll with those changes, they will lose their followers....they have already lost me.

heartinhand said...

The Catholic Church is a joke. A tasteless, inappropriate, sexist joke.

Deborah said...

Too pooped to Pope. I was raised Catholic and still am, although I am currently churchless due to the human element within the church...all the man made doctrine. Yet, the very basis, the cornerstone of the faith, still stands. God will clean His House, but probably not within my lifetime. Until then, God & I are good...

Akashic Cosmic Creations said...

Just another of the many reasons why I dont follow organized religion.

Francie M said...

You are so right. But the church needs to hit rock bottom before it can rise again. But by the time that thappens there will be no one left who cares.

Jim said...

Debra for Pope!!
I so hear you Debra! And precisely why I SHED any remnant of this religion so many years ago!!

Magic Love Crow said...

Go Grumpy Cat! Yeh Grumpy Cat ;o) Debra, I read your posts about what you did when you were in the Vatican with your Rare One. That is excellent! I would like to think that they are still there!

Rose - The Center of My Self said...

One thing that I love about being Catholic is that the church is constantly changing, evolving, becoming more enlightened. Not due to the folks at the top, but because of the congregations who agitate for change. There's always something changing because the people clamor for it. Our church has groups that support soup kitchens, homeless outreach, job searching, older folks, gay folks, Irish folks, Italian folks - I love the arms-open-wide acceptance in our church. It's certainly not the same church as it was when I was a kid. The nun at our church once started a discussion with "When I'm Pope ..." Love her! People like her and other Catholics will help our church grow because they remember that God's not Catholic!

laughingwolf said...

so mote it be....

Laeli said...

Oh woman I could go on and on about my feelings and thoughts of that whole mess. High five and a million thank yous for your feminine mission!

Guillaume said...

The CTHOLIC church cannot and should not be reformed. Ideally, it should be abolished.

Birdie said...

Last weekend I went on a rant about the catholic church and the person I was talking to, it turns out was catholic. Oops. It still is one screwed system and I made no apologies.