Monday, 23 February 2015

"Has Any Man Broken Your Heart?"

Thank you for this question, Guillaume of Vraie Fiction. Your worry that it might be considered crass is unfounded. My life is an open book, mon ami.

The only man who has ever broken my heart is Colin Firth/Mr. Darcy. God damn him and his Regency good looks! * sob *


But what about my university boyfriend Doofus, whom I dated when still labouring under the mistaken impression that I was straight? No, Doofus did not break my heart. Only my hymen. And good riddance to both it and him, quite frankly.

Now, I must admit that a certain amount of heartache has been caused by all the various lesbian lovers I've had over the years. "There's no drama like dyke drama," as they say and alas, it's true. Luckily, however, no long-lasting or permanent damage has been done to my heart. I'm a survivor in the game of luuuuv, baby.




36 comments:

strangelynaked.com said...

Mr. Darcy, aye? You must be a fan of mutton chops.

Rommy said...

LOL. I love that classic cover!

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

I went to read the post you've linked to 'Doofus' and ohmygosh...bahahaha...so damn funny!

Gia said...

Colin FIrth is my fave Darcy for sure.

Vanessa Morgan said...

I must be the only woman who's immune to Colin Firth's supposed charm :)

I just read your post about Doofus. I've never heard of that wine before. I guess that's a good thing.

Have a great week.

Mark said...

I have to say I enjoyed the pedantry of this post. No man has ever broken your heart, even if a woman or two has. But the question related specifically to men. Anyway, I'm glad you got through it all fine. Sometimes one heartbreak is all it takes to screw you over forever.

Jeanne said...

With that incredibly unblemished skin and tussled hair, his boy-ish good looks do beckon....

Lois said...

Mr. Darcy is mine! All mine...

The Happy Whisk said...

You're funny, this was a good post. Happy Monday and boogie boogie.

Jane and Lance Hattatt said...

Hello Debra,

Better to have loved and lost..........as they say!

The little film was wonderful. What with Elton's glasses and RuPaul's hair, both of which seem to have lives of their own, this is a fabulous version of an all time classic. So many ways to say 'I love you'........are our lives long enough to count them?

Insomniac’s Attic said...

Excellent video, Debra - boy, RuPaul really nailed Cher, didn't she?

A Beer For The Shower said...

Perhaps your original problem was dating a guy named Doofus?

Also, look at those glorious sideburns. Who could resist such luscious cheek foliage?

Bill the Butcher said...

Hymens are so overrrated.

JACKIESUE said...

back in the 80-'s I got my heart broke..haven't had sex since..not too long ago I was talking to Kathy F who is the one my 'boyfriend' broke up with me for..I asked her..did I ever thank you for taking him away from me? she laughed and said no..well, thank you..such a favor you did me..(she divorced him about 4 years after the birth of their son)so time will heal that broken heart.

heartinhand said...

JACKIESUE hasn't had sex since the 80s. Let that sink in. That's it! We need to send her a Canadian Stud for Christmas this year!

I had my heart broken once. He's dead now. Coincidence or comeuppance? Who's to say!

bill lisleman said...

dyke drama - I have heard it can be an extreme sport. I believe there just are people of all types that enjoy drama and promote it.

Ms Misantropia said...

whatno-one semms to understand is that the drama is so much better than the smooth sailing. who lives to be bired?

Dawna said...

Funny post!!. You know they can reconstruct hymens apparently....
I love Mr Darcy. . how fine he is

Leeanna said...

Oh! Mr Darcy! Mamma like.

Guillaume said...

Thank you for answering my question with such good humor. I would so not have my heart broken by a Jane Austen character.

DEZMOND said...

well, ladies are bigger heartbreakers than gent after all :)

Dixie@dcrelief said...

I hate, no, loathe, Darcy! (Maybe).
I thing Rupaul makes a better Cher than Cher. Love the video (smile).

Heli said...

Oh yes! Mr Darcy. Wolverine. Captain Picard. Captain Jack Harkness!

Miss Val's Creations said...

I love Elton John and RuPaul. They are so cute together.

Francie M said...

Ah yes, Mr. Darcy. Well actually now that I have Ragnar in my sights I guess you can have him. For awhile.

Robin Larkspur said...

Alas poor Doofus, you threw up on him well.
Great post.

Ol'Buzzard said...

loved the video.
the Ol'Buzzard

Michael D'Agostino said...

I must read Pride and Prejudice, I hear women talk about Mr Darcy so much :P

Adam said...

I heard his version of Mr. Darcy was legendary

Jacquelineand.... said...

Manischewitz (or however you spell it) really? Oh good gods and goonybirds, that stuff would founder a horse... poor you! Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Erm, yes, had my own experience with it back when I was young and stupid. The only thing worse is drinking it and then following it with sloe gin... when wearing a brand-spankin'- new white outfit. That outfit went right into the rag bag.

Loved that bit of camp, really cheered my day!

anne marie in philly said...

colin firth (swoons)!

there have been 2 heartbreakers in my life - one at age 19, the other at age 46.

the ex-husband was a fluke. the current husband is...

Mary said...

Ah yes, Mr. Darcy. I do heart him, i admit it. I think Shaun Cassidy was the first boy to break my heart when i was 11. Or was that Parker Stevenson. Anyway, i was crushed when i realized that neither Hardy Boy would ever be mine!

Janie Junebug said...

Plenty of men have stomped on my heart. I glue it together again and prepare for the next stomping. One of these days I'll stomp harder than the man.

Love,
Janie

Linda said...

You are so honest....
Good for you...
Cheers!
Linda :o)

LL Cool Joe said...

If my life was as exciting as yours it would be an open book too.

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! You are so cute ;o)