Monday, 5 March 2018

HRH, Poet-Cat of Genius


Hello everyone. Her Royal Highness the Cat here once again.

VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!

I'm THRILLED to announce that I am the GRAND PRIZE WINNER of this year's Anti-Valentines Day Contest held by Rawknrobyn over at Life by Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel's Blog! Yes, my poetic genius has FINALLY been recognized and rewarded!

Rawknrobyn, who is just EVER-SO-SLIGHTLY JADED by online dating and relationships, asked for submissions on the topic "Damned Be the Fairytale."


[Collage art by Rawknrobyn for this year's contest]

My useless human Debra She Who Seeks tried IN VAIN for an HOUR to come up with an entry but FAILED because that NAIVE SENTIMENTAL SAP actually LIKES Valentines Day, can you imagine? So she suggested I try MY paw at coming up with something.

Well, with my VAST experience of the TRUE nature of TOMCATS, it took me like TWO SECONDS to come up with a DEATHLESS POEM OF GENIUS, worthy of the Great Bard WILLIAM SHAKESPURR himself!


                                                  Roses are red,
                                                  Violets are blue,
                                                  Toms pretend to be Super Cat
                                                  But are really Pepe le Pew.

Wow, I amaze EVEN MYSELF sometimes. How could this NOT be the Best Entry??? The majority of Rawknrobyn's DISCERNING READERS (Connaisseurs of Fine Literature ALL) who voted for my poem AGREED that it was the BEST in a fair and democratic vote that was not in ANY way influenced by Russia. NYET! My old pal Mr. Whiskervitch did NOT spread DISINFORMATION or threaten ANYONE, contrary to the FAKE NEWS reported by those Enemies of the People, the LIBERAL MEDIA.


Anyway, my prize package has now ARRIVED! And what was in that lovely kitty cat gift bag, you ask? It was positively STUFFED with CHOCOLATE and other goodies, including Rawknrobyn's original collage art featured above!


Some items were CLEARLY meant for me, THE CHAMPION, like the celebratory BUBBLY BOTTLE filled with champagne-flavoured Jelly Bellies, the U-NO and GOOD NEWS chocolate bars and the cat POST-IT NOTES that warn "Dis better be important." There was no actual MONEY, alas, but the bag DID include a chocolate bar wrapped in a fake $100 American bill (worth $125 in fake Canadian money!)

Rawkynrobyn is SO GENEROUS that she even included some items for my HUMAN -- a couple of RAINBOW Sixlets and a FLAKE chocolate bar, which I'm sure is an EDITORIAL COMMENT (entirely accurate, by the way) on my human's personality. I'll give the Chocolate Cherries and the Sea Side Caramel chocolate bar to my human's RARE ONE, because EVERY year when I was alive she always used to slip me a choice bit of Thanksgiving TURKEY right off the bird. And as they say --


THANK YOU again for this GREAT HONOUR, Rawknrobyn!

My human is NEVER going to hear THE END of this.

Hahahahahahahaha!

34 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

congrats, HRH! you are one talented puss!

mistress maddie said...

Hey...... not many achieve such things from the beyond.

DEZMOND said...

there is even the Shakespurrian stanza somewhere... deep down... hidden... in it... possibly....

laurie said...

now thats something to be proud of!!!

Ol'Buzzard said...

Now you are the envy of all would-be poets.
The poem was purrfection
the Ol'Buzzard

Jeanne said...

Congrats HRH! An honor quite overdue. Though Gomez does take a bit of offense at the way you lumped all TomCats into one CAT-egory.

p.s. We had a visit from Pepe a couple nights ago.....

Harry Hamid said...

I don't know how I feel about this trend. Cats are taking our awards now?

I'm nervous. At least I know that a cat will never take my job because my job isn't lounging.

(Congrats and what a cool award!)

Kirk said...

You are a very talented feline.

Leeanna Henderson said...

That was purrfection. Congratulations!

Adam said...

An honor well earned

e said...

YRH, I'm not one bit surprised, and neither is Pierre. You were clearly the frontrunner in this contest.

Pierre would also like to remind YRH that he is no longer, ahem, THAT kind of Tom cat... oh, the civilizing effect of a little snippety snip!

MrsDuncanMahogany said...

Well done HRH!!! :)

Rosemary said...

Very well done and lucky human - I love flake bars but haven't had one for years.

Marie Smith said...

Congrats, HRH.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

What fun we've had! It was well, well worth it. Thank you, Your Highness, for all this fun gratitude. You are most humbly welcome.

And now, Mr. Whiskervitch has a big feast to enjoy, at my and your human's expense. Not that you aren't worthy. We simply took precations against catastrophic collusion to assure you'd remain top cat. Do share and keep sharing the prize. Make that Ben Franklin stretch to its fullest.

xoxo

Mitchell is Moving said...

Oh HRH, with that goodie bag, if you were still alive I'd propose! I do, however, remember that your human recently got high score on her bathroom scale.

bj said...

I love this....and I love your human's cute personality.....

Miss Val's Creations said...

Congratulations HRH!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I once that same contest one Valentine so I am glad someone else in my circle won it. Robin is awesome. I think she is sweet on me.

Carol Blackburn said...

Such fun!

Willym said...

Well she's a poet!
And I didn't know it!

Insomniac's Attic said...

Really, YRH ,it couldn't have gone any other way. That FLAKE comment's a little harsh though. 🤣

Fundy Blue said...

You're one of a kind, YRH, and you absolutely deserved to win!

Magic Love Crow said...

Congrats HRH!!! What a purrfect post! LOL! You deserve to win! I love all the treats!! So yummy!! I got a good laugh about the fake American bill being worth $125.00 fake Canadian money! LOL! Big Hugs!

Jill said...

Congratulations :-) Cute poem! Hope you have a wonderful week and be sure to share the chocolate ;-) LOL

Blessings,
Jill

Magaly Guerrero said...

HRH, I always knew that behind your rather sharp ghostly fangs lurked the tongue of a poem. This is awesome. I hope you and your human enjoy the goodies very much.

bill lisleman said...

And the Oscar goes to the cat that tells it like it is. Congrats.

Missy George said...

Quite an achievement HRH..Short but sweet..Love the Shakespearian kitty. That's a wonderful prize..I hope you don't ingest it all at one time..if at all.

Toni said...

Excellent poet, especially for a romantic sap! Reward is sweet.

Don't let Mr. Whiskervitch out when the sun is shining. He might spontaneously erupt into flames!

Guillaume said...

Congratulations!

baili said...

Very well deserved your highness!!!

Jono said...

A well deserved win!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Psst, don't tell Calvin that I am in fact sweet on him.
Thanks, HRH.

The Captain said...

My cat might do better but who knows cos she can't really be arsed (to do anything).😂😂😂