Friday, 18 May 2018

My Cousin Betty Windsor

Hello everyone. Her Royal Highness the cat here again.

As I revealed in my last post, my cousin Betty Windsor has a LONG-STANDING GRUDGE against me and would gladly EXCLUDE me from this weekend's Royal Wedding.

Frankly, Betty has ALWAYS been jealous of me, ever since she and I appeared together on a gold coin a few years ago. My beauty is so obviously superior that people who used these coins for a coin toss said that I was HEADS and Betty was TAILS. Well!!! Little Miss Sensitive NEVER got over that.


Of course, Betty is also a well-known CAT HATER from WAY BACK. The only animals she TRULY likes are corgis and horses. (*shudder*)

In fact, Betty's dislike of cats is so profound that there is only ONE known photo of her with a cat -- and it dates from when she was still a PRINCESS in World War Friggin' TWO! Believe me, that phoney little backstabber is smiling in this photo ONLY for propaganda purposes to keep up the morale of our brave, patriotic CAT-LOVING Armed Forces!


Anyway, to make a long story short, Cousin Betty has VOWED to keep me from attending the Royal Wedding BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Will that deter me?

HA HA, I say!

Bring it on!

Do your worst, Betty!

I laugh in your face!

SEE YOU AT THE WEDDING!


Don't worry -- I'll report back after the wedding with ALL the details, everyone!

You know, Betty is just fortunate that I am TOO HIGH CLASS to write a TELL-ALL BOOK about every tawdry and unsavoury family secret I've heard! Oh, the dirt I could dish . . . .

33 comments:

DEZMOND said...

That explains why nasty Betty lurvs Corgies so much...

Bob Slatten said...

"Betty was TAILS"! Loving it!

mxtodis123 said...

I just knew you were going to find a way to be there. Looking forward to all the details.

Kay G. said...

Ha ha! So catty! Listen, you must look at the BBC and see the Beano drawings of them al l!

Mitchell is Moving said...

You can come as my Plus One.

Leeanna Henderson said...

Oh, the gossip! I could just imagine HRH's tell-all book titled, "Letting The Cat Out of The Bag." Now I would buy that book for sure. I heard Charles is walking Meghan down the aisle.

Marie Smith said...

You’ll get places ordinary folk won’t be allowed. Keep us posted!

Joanne Noragon said...

"Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat, where have you been?"
Well, not to London to see the Queen!

Adam said...

I've never really understand her love for corgis, diverse your hounds woman

Kirk said...

Is that Princess Margaret next to Elisabeth? She seem to be looking at you with genuine affection. Too bad she's gone to that royal palace in the sky.

Martha said...

Nothing gets in the way of cattitude. You go!

Magaly Guerrero said...

I want the dirt, HRH. Give me the dirt!

Have a blast at the wedding.

anne marie in philly said...

bring home a slice of wedding cake for your hoomins!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Oh, but what would it take to lower yourself to write that book, HRH? I'll do anything, ANYTHING! Can't wait to get the report from you. Then, bribery will be on its way.

Fundy Blue said...

Can't wait to hear your report, Ms. RH! I have no doubt in your ability to crash the Royal Wedding!

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Leeanna Henderson -- Oh, that is the PERFECT name for my tell-all book! I will call it that for sure and I will dedicate the book to you, because you are one of my finest role models as an unrepentant shit disturber!

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Kirk -- Yes, that is INDEED Princess Margaret in that old photo. Oh, the boozy, male-chasing FUN TIMES we had even then, she and I -- what a LIVE WIRE Maggie was, especially compared to frumpy, grumpy Betty. Also -- VERY perceptive of you to recognize me in that WW2 photo -- I was in the FIRST of my nine lives then. Ah, memories.

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Rawknrobyn -- Catnip ALWAYS makes a good bribe, dear. When I write my tell-all book, perhaps YOU could EDIT it for me -- with your VAST experience of sexual innuendo, double-entendre and talent for rolling around in the gutter, you'd be the PERFECT choice! Oh, and you'll LOVE the dirt I have about Martha Stewart and Prince Philip, that dirty old DOG.

mistress maddie said...

@Her Royal Highness. It's a good thing your in the after life... because if Betty sees this, she will have your hide one way or another. But my dog, Buster Bolfig Borghese says he will have your back.

Birdie said...

She’s a cat hater? Let’s get her removed from the throne. She isn’t to be trusted. Cat haters are not to be trusted.

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Birdie -- MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY!!!!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I once helped a cat escape from England after he tried to assassinate the Queen's Corgis. I need clearing from the government to tell you any more than that. I was banned as well. I am told that Harry is afraid I will steal his girl with my devilish charms. Apparantly she Canadian accent makes her wet.

Miss Val's Creations said...

Enjoy the wedding HRH! Make Betty jealous of your beauty.

Sandy said...

LOL...Fun picture. Go Cat. Not a Corgi or horse fan here.

Sandy's Space

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness -- Oh yes, I had a DELIGHTFUL affair with that James Bond kitty who carried out the corgi assassination attempt. So YOU were the mystery operative who spirited him away afterwards! I should have known. Your DERRING-DO is well known among feline espionage agents. Hugs to the Baroness.

AntiquityTravelers said...

oh do dish! you go girl

lady M said...

It is my observation that horses and cats think a lot alike. Dogs, not so much.

Missy George said...

CAn't wait to hear of your adventures among Royalty.. Watch out for those Corgies.. Great post...

Guillaume said...

I like the Queen even less now.

e said...

'Feline espionage agents' - well, that explains a lot. You know, I thought I saw the flash of tail whisking around the pews on the bride's side of the chapel. Of course, that couldn't have been you... you wouldn't allow your cover to be blown. Perhaps one of your operatives?

I understand that Buckingham Palace is simply overrun with mice - the Dorgis were brought in to take care of that but they have fallen down on the job. How does Betty's cat-antipathy serve her now, hmm?

Really looking forward to the tell all book. You know that it will make Betty's blood boil!

Linda @ Life and Linda said...

Waiting in anticipation for all of the royal details...LOL Happy Sunday Debra.

Carol Blackburn said...

Well, since I wasn't invited I really don't give a hoot what they are doing but, I did notice how much the Queen resembles my Aunt and Godmother Vivian. I doubt we are related but none-the-less an invitation would have been something to frame. I do love your comment about the "coin." Ha, ha, ha..........

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! HRH, you are brilliant! Kick Betty's ass!!