Hello, my adoring minions and sweet stalker-ish fans!
It is I, HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE CAT,
here once again to
wring my paws in DESPAIR
over the state of my Family.
Yes, THAT Family of which I am a well-loved member.
but she is VERY much the exception.
Everyone else adores, SIMPLY ADORES, me!
as they broke away from the clutches of the Royal Family.
Their recent, shocking interview with Oprah shows that
the Royal Family has learned nothing, NOTHING,
from the UTTER FIASCO that was
Prince Charles' and Princess Diana's marriage.
Still NO training or mentorship for young spouses joining the Family.
NO mental or emotional support for coping with Royal Life.
NO immediate and sharp rebukes of the
absolutely disgraceful RACISM propagated by the
British tabloid media against Meghan.
When, OH WHEN, will the Palace LEARN?
I feel for Meghan so much because I. too,
have often been targeted by those tabloid rags.
They hate my guts because I am also beautiful and talented.
There is no low to which they will not sink to harass and bully me!
Those dastardly tabloids even
QUESTION my Royal Credentials!
Can you imagine?
Oh, the unspeakable gall of those gutter journalists!
Just look at this LATEST LIBEL against me!
I shall LAWYER UP immediately!!!!!