Hello, my beloved clients and soon-to-be clients,
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS the LIFE COACH here.
Ignore the preceding meme.
It is wrong, simply WRONG.
Today's advice is for all you
SINGLETONS out there.
Before you can have a relationship,
you have to FIND someone to date.
And that's EASY PEASY with my
HANDY DANDY advice
and cute rhymes!
Okay, now, let me be BRUTALLY CLEAR.
This is NOT how you find someone to date --
You gotta get out there and
mingle, people, MINGLE!
Don't know how?
Here's some OPTIONS!
(1) Get friends, family
and complete strangers
to SET YOU UP!
(2) Hang around your local DIVORCE COURT!
PRO TIP -- Try to look
fetching and non-stalkerish
while doing so.
(3) And, of course, in our modern times,
sign up on DATING APPS!
When you DO snag the interest of
some poor unsuspecting bastard,
FLIRT like your love life depends on it.
IT DOES!
If you manage to fool them long enough
to actually get a real date,
be sure to apply
PROPER DATING ETIQUETTE.
PRO TIP -- Avoid these pitfalls!
To conclude, here's a
TESTIMONIAL
from one of my many,
MANY satisfied clients --
Follow my advice and
I GUARANTEE that
SUCCESS and HAPPINESS
will be yours! *
*Absolutely No Refunds.
34 comments:
Hello Debra and YRH, Finally some practical relationship advice. I liked the Photoshop one the best.
--Jim
What about advice on sex on the first date? How soon can you break out the electronic gadgets?
asking for a friend
the Ol'Buzzard
Take her [him] to Starbucks!!
Sound advice.
Great advice HRH! I am so glad that part of my life is over!
Coming up on 30 years since I was last single, how did that happen? Happier every year.
Oh great...the other fish in the sea has scared the shit out of me.
LOL, I'm so glad that part of my life is done and over with!
@ Ol'Buzzard -- Whatever your date consents to is fine, but that's a matter to discuss with them. There is no one all-purpose rule.
HRH' dating advice is money well wasted!
Glad I don’t need that advice at present.
Almost 48 years with no practice. But if I ever need someone, Fran looks like the girl for me.
Hahahah
oh the blind date!
LMAOOOOOO
And that kitty? Love!
XOXO
@Mistress Maddie
No the scariest part is....if you're single you're also one of the "other fish in the sea"...
Yes!!! Take them to Starbucks! I wish I knew about THAT years ago.
The Blind Date made me guffaw! And then I laughed at every damned meme. Very funny. But, I can't take dating advice from a cat, no matter how regal. Can you imagine? A cat? The most self-involved mammal on the planet? Good thing I'm not looking! (Sorry, YRH.)
At last, an effective deterrent for unsolicited dick pics.
And it's all too true about the fish.
I had to re-enter the dating world after my divorce and there was a lot of things that I didn't miss.
Took me a long time to find that perfect match
A hearty HAR-HAR from me! Cat-on-head-man could have been worse. It could have been a bad toupee!
BRB. Off to make sad posts about my love life on social media. Still not sure why I am taking relationship advice from a spayed life coach who alienated everybody she met, but whatever.
The other fish in the sea--no than you.
How exactly does one go about becoming a random couple on the internet?
HAHAHA! Loved these, especially the group text and going to Starbucks!
This is advice I can live with. Yo hell with joining classes full of women, to meet men. And doing all the work on the offchance you'll meet a wonderful partner also picking up beach litter. An available one, that is, not somebody else's.
Love the fish..Fortunately I am no longer in need of this advice..Fun to read though..Have a Happy weekend..
Unsolicited dick picks? I am so naive - do people really do that?
@ Lady M -- Alas, yes, I am given to understand that some tom cats do that.
I love the dating advice and flirting technique. Wise words, HRH.
I grumbled once because a known flirt hadn't flirted with me. The men I was grumbling to said, 'He probably did and you didn't notice.' They know me so well.
I'm 44 and I'm maybe from the last generation that found their spouse in majority outside the virtual world (dating websites, apps, social media, etc.) So I suspect staying home to find love is actually the way to go.
LOL ~ all of them, but especially the fish in the sea!
These were hilarious and probably accurate. Thank GOD I don't have to do any of this though; snag 'em young and raise them yourself. :O
they all were funny and hilarious and all made me smile
i am surprised to know how world has advanced ,more than it oh dear
It's a wonder my husband and I got together, we were both so shy! I'm glad I don't have to deal with the dating scene.
LOL! Love these!! Big Hugs!
Okay...I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner. I'm still laughing.
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