Friday, 28 May 2021

Dating Advice From Your Life Coach

Hello, my beloved clients and soon-to-be clients,

Ignore the preceding meme.
It is wrong, simply WRONG.

Today's advice is for all you 
SINGLETONS out there.

Before you can have a relationship
you have to FIND someone to date. 

And that's EASY PEASY with my 
and cute rhymes!

Okay, now, let me be BRUTALLY CLEAR.
This is NOT how you find someone to date --

You gotta get out there and 
mingle, people, MINGLE!

Don't know how?
Here's some OPTIONS!

(1) Get friends, family 
and complete strangers 

(2) Hang around your local DIVORCE COURT!

PRO TIP -- Try to look 
fetching and non-stalkerish
while doing so.

(3) And, of course, in our modern times,
sign up on DATING APPS!

When you DO snag the interest of
some poor unsuspecting bastard,
FLIRT like your love life depends on it.


If you manage to fool them long enough 
to actually get a real date,
be sure to apply 

PRO TIP -- Avoid these pitfalls!

To conclude, here's a
from one of my many, 
MANY satisfied clients --

Follow my advice and

will be yours! *

*Absolutely No Refunds.


Parnassus said...

Hello Debra and YRH, Finally some practical relationship advice. I liked the Photoshop one the best.

Ol'Buzzard said...

What about advice on sex on the first date? How soon can you break out the electronic gadgets?
asking for a friend
the Ol'Buzzard

Bob said...

Take her [him] to Starbucks!!

Sound advice.

Miss Val's Creations said...

Great advice HRH! I am so glad that part of my life is over!

Travel said...

Coming up on 30 years since I was last single, how did that happen? Happier every year.

Mistress Maddie said...

Oh great...the other fish in the sea has scared the shit out of me.

Martha said...

LOL, I'm so glad that part of my life is done and over with!

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Ol'Buzzard -- Whatever your date consents to is fine, but that's a matter to discuss with them. There is no one all-purpose rule.

Tundra Bunny said...

HRH' dating advice is money well wasted!

Marie Smith said...

Glad I don’t need that advice at present.

Mike said...

Almost 48 years with no practice. But if I ever need someone, Fran looks like the girl for me.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

oh the blind date!

And that kitty? Love!


Bruce.desertrat said...

@Mistress Maddie

No the scariest part is....if you're single you're also one of the "other fish in the sea"...

Moving with Mitchell said...

Yes!!! Take them to Starbucks! I wish I knew about THAT years ago.

e said...

The Blind Date made me guffaw! And then I laughed at every damned meme. Very funny. But, I can't take dating advice from a cat, no matter how regal. Can you imagine? A cat? The most self-involved mammal on the planet? Good thing I'm not looking! (Sorry, YRH.)

Infidel753 said...

At last, an effective deterrent for unsolicited dick pics.

And it's all too true about the fish.

Adam said...

I had to re-enter the dating world after my divorce and there was a lot of things that I didn't miss.

Took me a long time to find that perfect match

Bea said...

A hearty HAR-HAR from me! Cat-on-head-man could have been worse. It could have been a bad toupee!

Old Lurker said...

BRB. Off to make sad posts about my love life on social media. Still not sure why I am taking relationship advice from a spayed life coach who alienated everybody she met, but whatever.

Joanne Noragon said...

The other fish in the sea--no than you.

Kirk said...

How exactly does one go about becoming a random couple on the internet?

Martha said...

HAHAHA! Loved these, especially the group text and going to Starbucks!

Boud said...

This is advice I can live with. Yo hell with joining classes full of women, to meet men. And doing all the work on the offchance you'll meet a wonderful partner also picking up beach litter. An available one, that is, not somebody else's.

This N That said...

Love the fish..Fortunately I am no longer in need of this advice..Fun to read though..Have a Happy weekend..

Lady M said...

Unsolicited dick picks? I am so naive - do people really do that?

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Lady M -- Alas, yes, I am given to understand that some tom cats do that.

Liz Hinds said...

I love the dating advice and flirting technique. Wise words, HRH.

I grumbled once because a known flirt hadn't flirted with me. The men I was grumbling to said, 'He probably did and you didn't notice.' They know me so well.

Guillaume said...

I'm 44 and I'm maybe from the last generation that found their spouse in majority outside the virtual world (dating websites, apps, social media, etc.) So I suspect staying home to find love is actually the way to go.

Fundy Blue said...

LOL ~ all of them, but especially the fish in the sea!

Busy Bee Suz said...

These were hilarious and probably accurate. Thank GOD I don't have to do any of this though; snag 'em young and raise them yourself. :O

baili said...

they all were funny and hilarious and all made me smile

i am surprised to know how world has advanced ,more than it oh dear

Rommy said...

It's a wonder my husband and I got together, we were both so shy! I'm glad I don't have to deal with the dating scene.

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! Love these!! Big Hugs!

Yvonne said...

Okay...I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner. I'm still laughing.