Monday, 18 July 2016

Forever Plaid


So I did my grocery shopping on Saturday and, as one is wont to do while waiting in the checkout line, glanced at those stupid fake gossip mags displayed by the counter. And I spotted THIS GEM!!!

I laughed SO HARD at how they photoshopped Ellen and Portia as makeup-free and wearing those gawdawful plaid men's shirts buttoned right up to the neck like classic diesel dykes! Plus, did they give Ellen an Adam's apple? STILL not butch enough to keep Portia from leaving her for a REAL man though! (Which we all know is every lesbian's WORST NIGHTMARE, of course!)

Talk about playing to homophobic stereotypes, LOL! And OUTDATED stereotypes to boot. If that whole ridiculous cover doesn't deserve a Judge Judy eyeroll, well, I don't know what DOES.



47 comments:

jaz@octoberfarm said...

i just thought they were visiting canada and dressing like the locals.

LL Cool Joe said...

So have they split up?

The plaid checked shirts done up to the neck are really in fashion. I like em. :D

anne marie in philly said...

such garbage! and I know some gay guys that eat this shit up as truth. waste of money AND paper!

Marie Smith said...

Those magazines are ridiculous. Not even laughable!

Mark said...

Wait those things are fake? Lesbians really don't wear plaid all day every day? This has been an enlightening day.

Snap said...

I'll be giggling all day ........

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ jaz@octoberfarm -- oh that's cold, baby, ICE COLD.

@ LL Cool Joe -- no, they haven't split up. Ellen says if they do, she'll announce it on her show so no need to waste money buying those gossip mags.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

With a couples of buttons open, I actually like plaid shirts :)

Lynn said...

I saw that same magazine while in the grocery store line. I try not to look at any of those covers, but the man behind me was complaining that they don't have the fun covers about aliens and such anymore. I said, "Well there's plenty to look at here, I guess." Nonsense that it is.

Sylvie D said...

oooh myyyy!

Leeanna Henderson said...

I was reading all the lies on that rag. OMG! Soooooo funny. I love the Judge Judy eye roll.

DEZMOND said...

they also say down there that Tom is using Taylor??? He's using that flimsy lil' tart who would use everything that can be used, misused and then thrown away? Oh, sweet Bejesus, please throw a rock and be precise (you can strike Beyobiatch too and her gangsta pimp)....

Fundy Blue said...

LOL I get a kick out of scanning the headlines and photos in the checkout line! It's so ridiculously funny! I do have one flannel MacBeath tartan shirt, but I wear it over something else when I'm writing in my study on cold winter days ~ never bottomed though. I have to be able to bail it fast if I have a hot flash!

Rommy said...

Oh brother...I remember these stereotypes when I was young, but growing up I learned how ridiculous they were. Guess someone didn't tell People magazine!

Miss Val's Creations said...

Total stereotype! Portia and Ellen have been going through their breakup for years now. The tabloids are entertaining.

bill lisleman said...

Apparently enough people buy those gossip sheets of dead trees. Today with the social media you can get much more gossip and pictures quicker. Of course you get much more fake/false info too. I realize many people are into fake. I don't know much of anything about Portia but I respect Ellen. She is a great person.

A Beer For The Shower said...

If you had even bothered reading to page 18, you would see that Portia is an alien who's part of a government conspiracy to keep Tupac (who's not dead) out of the public eye... which, in my opinion, is the REAL story, here.

Ah, Star Magazine... high quality journalism at its finest.

mxtodis123 said...

They don't put those magazines by the register here anymore. As a matter of fact, the three supermarkets I shop at don't even sell magazines. Pathmark did before they went bankrupt. Used to enjoy the magazine racks by the register. Kept me busy while I waited in line.
Mary

The Cranky said...

And here I was ready to corner the market on plaid fashion!

Guillaume said...

I really hate those magazines.

John Gray said...

Comics!

Adam said...

I just saw a bit where she trolled the article. I can't believe the people who believe garbage magazines like that

lady M said...

Ha! That is funny - I have never seen Ellen dress so poorly!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Oy, stories about their supposed break-up have been going on for months. I mean, err, a friend told me. I'd never follow that kinda trash.

And I'm straight. But if I was with either of them, even dressed like that, I'd never leave her side. Imagine how entertaining it would be to be with Ellen, and how mesmerizing to be with Portia. In fact, I wonder how they'd feel about a threesome...?

The Blog Fodder said...

Adding you to my must read list. How have I missed you? Too funny.

e said...

Sizzling, scorching hotness right there! Those plaid shirts really rev my engine!

Seriously, though? Portia would get more than 330M. California is a community property state.

Fearsome Beard said...

The Beard resurfaces from his post surgical painkiller haze....
This would have easily been one of those pain killer induced wired dreams...

JACKIESUE said...

omfg

bj said...

now is this the lady she married a couple yrs ago.? I thought they were really happy but....guess not
I know those tabloids are trash and I just LOVE them...if I give in and buy one, I have to hide it before our youngest grandgirl comes over..she shames me every time she finds one....lol

Missy George said...

Who stays up at night thinking up all that crap??I like plaid shirts in the fall as long as they aren't flannel...Judge Judy is a hoot!!

Ol'Buzzard said...

Trump said he gets all his news from The Enquirer and the shows.
the Ol'Buzzard

Tricky Nag said...

The covers of those magazines are the highlight of every grocery shopping trip. I need to up my game though, I would've missed Ellen's Adam's apple.

baili said...

Such mags are time pass of so many and I used to be one of them in my youth ,later I realized that this way time is Passing me away like a wastage I decided to walk along time by using it in a positive and useful manner

Magaly Guerrero said...

Such crap. Really.

Crystal Collier said...

See, there's a reason I don't bother looking at the magazines. *shrugs* Silly, silly people.

Neesie said...

Oh my... now I know why I don't buy these mags. After living in locations where these things weren't available I can now be thankful. I must have saved a fortune! I wonder what I spent the money on? :/

Magic Love Crow said...

I saw this one!!! I can't believe that these magazines are still being made!!! Love that Judge Judy eye roll! LOL! I want to take that kitty home!!

Susan said...

Good lord.

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! said...

Hi human, Debra,

We now get to see Ellen on our TV over here. I don't like outdated stereotypes either. Tell Judge Judy to meet Judge Rinder. If you Google, "Judge Rinder", you'll see what I mean.

Pawsitive wishes, eh,

Penny!

dbs said...

Stupids gonna stupid.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

So buying a lesbian a plaid shirt is not good manners? Well that ruins all my Christmas shopping for me.

Jono said...

Plaid is my favorite color and I've always loved Ellen. My stepmother used to read those "magazines" which was always embarrassing.

The Happy Whisk said...

Oh my goodness. What is with that Adam's apple? Or, for those who watch Friends, a Joey's apple? Either way, horrible job.

G. B. Miller said...

Sadly, decades ago, I used to think those headlines were true (hey, if it's in print, it must be true, eh?).

Father Nature's Corner

Ms Misantropia said...

I am so out of touch with lesbian stereotyping, but the plaid shirts feel like a Halloween or Rockabilly themed event..?

Professor Chaos said...

Nobody dumps Ellen! NOBODY!

CraveCute said...

Ok I snorted when I saw this post, because, when we first moved up north here to MN, one of our best neighbors was a really tall 6'2" lesbian gal and in the winter, she DID indeed wear plaid and the Elmer Fudd hat (ear flaps down)!! She was a hoot though, and a fun neighbor!