Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Miracle at Tim Hortons (Part 2)

Nancy White, Canada's favourite satirical singer-songwriter, wrote a wonderful song about Jesus's miraculous appearance at Tim Hortons. There's no video of the song on YouTube, so I'll just post the lyrics instead.

But first, for you Murricans and other Furriners, here's some info about Tim Hortons that will help you understand the lyrics:

(1) Every year Tim Hortons has a huge sweepstakes contest called "Rrrroll Up The Rim" where big prizes may be listed under the rim of your paper coffee cup. Canadians LIVE for Rrrroll Up The Rim.

(2) The original store was started in the 1960s by Tim Horton, an NHL hockey player from the Toronto Maple Leafs (that's why this song has a few hockey references). Tim Horton died about 10 years later in an unfortunate car crash. After his death, the business was franchised and turned into Canada's most successful restaurant chain. There are now a gazillion Tim Hortons right across the country.


1. I was driving to Cape Breton on a cold September's night
When a CBC announcer described an awesome sight,
It's causing folks to cross themselves, it's causing jaws to drop,
The face of Jesus has appeared on a Bras d'Or coffeeshop.

2. We've seen Elvis at the cleaners, and Hendrix at the zoo,
And aliens ate my uncle, but this is something new.
I figure when Our Saviour needs a break from all those boring hymns,
He's just like all us sinners, He can't wait to get to Tim's.

He wants to roll up the rim to win you, roll up to save your soul,
Teach you to love the donut and disregard the hole.
I've always been agnostic but I heard the Christian call
The day I saw Lord Jesus on Lord Tim Horton's wall.

3. Tim and Jesus met in heaven and they hit it off just fine,
Tim showed Him how to body check and Jesus made some wine.
He said, "I would not jive you, man, I'm not that kind of guy,
But I could walk on water!" Tim said, "Buddy, so could I!"

4. Well, He could have gone to Rita's where the scones are oh-so-sweet,
He could have gone to Lick-a-Chick -- it's right across the street!
He was thinking of cathedrals, He was looking for a sign,
When some musician told Him, "Man, Tim Hortons is a shrine!"

5. Well, some say it was the lighting, some say it was a fake,
But thousands went to see Sweet Jesus on their coffee break,
With crullers for communion, forgiveness was bestowed,
When the God of Heaven met the God of the Road.

(c) Nancy White 2002, from her album Stickers on Fruit.


Jeanne said...

Too Funny! :0)

CorvusCorax12 said...

great LOL

Caroline said...

Just catching up on your latest posts...OK...that pancake!! Hilarious. As for Tim Hortons...I gotta get my butt up to Canada and get me so of that coffee!!!! Great song...

Anonymous said...

I totally had a country twang in mind while I lipped the lyrics to myself. Thanks for telling us Murricans about Tim's. I never heard of the chain before. Next time I'm near the border, I may have to pop over and check it out!

mxtodis123 said...

Great way to start the afternoon after a lousy morning. Thank you again, my friend. You have made my day,

Beatnheart said...

what an amazing song. I love those lyrics..Can’t wait to see it on YOUTube....Thanks Debra for keeping us a breast of all things Canandian..

Ricky Shambles said...

Nancy White needs to hire you as a publicist: the phrase "nancy white" tim horton on Google brings up your post as #1. Nice.

Growing up in Cleveland, college in Toledo, OH, I've spent many a weekend in lovely Canada and many a morning stopping at a Tim's. It's slowly seeping down I-75 towards Cincinnati now, but we've still got about 25 miles to go before its deliciousness infects us.

Oh, and great blog - found you through Blueberry and I'm already a follower! Cheers!

yellowdoggranny said...

oh i fecking love it..i have to come to canada..i just yafta.

Paul C said...

The song captures Tim Horton's culture so well; it's a religious experience.

Unknown said...

LOVE it!

My fiance lives for Tim Hortons, especially at Roll up the Rim time. Those damn cups are everywhere... little bastards. And we win nothing. NOTHING!

Gonna share this one with him!

Irmata said...

I think this just might be the best chorus to any song ever written! :D I'm definitely going to see what more I can find by Nancy White (the name, "Stickers on Fruit", is hilarious in itself.) My other favourite Canadian singer is Bruce McCulloch.)

I remember watching "Wayne's World" and learning that the donut shop was an homage to Tim's. Man, was I disappointed when I found out the real Timmie's was nothing like the one in the movie :( Still, TimBits were the first Canadian delicacy I ever tasted! I have photos, even :D

Oh, and Iced Caps. Reason to Believe.