I've been absent from the blogosphere longer than anticipated because my Mom passed away about two weeks ago at the age of 93. Mom had a long life, although not an easy one in most ways. She was a fighter, though, always persisting, always enduring, no matter what she had to deal with. Her lessons and example made me who I am today, no doubt about it.
I'm just back now from Manitoba, having made final arrangements and taken care of business. One task I had to do was clear out her room at the nursing home. On her closed door, the nursing home staff had placed a picture of a blue butterfly, which I came to understand was their discreet code for "deceased resident." But it is actually a very appropriate coded reference. In ancient Greek mythology, the words for "butterfly" and "soul" are the same ("psyche").
The butterfly of my mother's soul has flown away home now, free at last. I am grieving and sorrowful but I welcome that peace for her.
85 comments:
Oh debs.....my condolences and sweet feelings of peace go to you my dear friend. Perhaps she in flight through a beautiful labyrinth somewhere.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending hugs. May she RIP.
So sorry for your loss.
She's at peace now ...
On the other side, I do like the butterfly reference.
wow...93 years old. i can't even imagine. my mum died when i was a little girl. i often wonder what my life would have been like if had known her. hugs deb!
Oh Debra. I am so sorry your mother has died. No matter your age or hers, it is never easy to lose your mother. Take care!
Blue butterflys are beautiful.
Perhaps they are the Valkyries that carry the deserving to Valhalla.
our thoughts are with you
the Ol'Buzzard
Rest in peace, mumme … and know that you are loved, friend Deb. My mumme is still alive, age 88. I am not sure, what is worse … grieving ahead or grieving after the loss. It's a double whammy, really. Much love, cat.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother.
The world nearly stops spinning when we lose our mothers. Or, at least it felt that way to me. My mom was such a strong and positive influence in my life. I hope you had that kind of relationship with yours.
Thinking of you, Debra, and sending you a virtual hug. Please apply as needed. Xoxox.
I am so sorry for your loss! ♥ She is at peace. May you find comfort in this time of loss. {{hugs}}
Hello Debra, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. You are lucky to have had such a good influence for so long; I am sure her good traits survive in you.
--Jim
Dear Heart...we all share in the loss of a mother. Mine has been gone 30 yrs and I still miss her. I am still heartbroken over losing my husband and it's been a year now. Our losses stay with us a long time...but time helps the rough edges.
Love to you, bj
So sorry for your loss. Sending healing thoughts your way. Blessings, Oma Linda
Wishing you well, Debs. My Mum and I had a rough start from the beginning and we weren't very close. It is funny now, how I can see (and hear) her at times and I laugh. Peace and love to you.......
Beyond sorry for your loss. Love the blue butterfly. The free soul and being at peace.
Sending my sincere condolences Debra...
Losing your Mom is tough...💔
condolences to you and your family, debra. I like the blue butterfly; may your mom's spirit float gently in the wind like a butterfly.
A loving memorial, Debra. My parents are in their mid-90s and my mom is still striking with most cylinders. My dad, alas, is not. Sending you a hug.
I'm so very sorry to hear of your mom's passing, Debra. Wishing you the strength you'll need for the days, weeks, and months to come.
My condolences Debra. The butterfly reference is a nice one.
Debra, my condolences to you. May your mum be onto her next adventure with her heart wide open. My love to you. xo
So very sorry to hear this, dear Lady Debra , our blessings and best wishes to you in these bad times...
I'm so sorry to hear this, Debra. My heartfelt condolences. The butterfly is such a lovely symbol.
My deepest sympathies Deb" I can tell you, watch for the signs, Mom's visit often. huge hug xDebi
So sorry to hear it, Debs! Hope at least her final days were filled with satisfaction and closure. Sending you a big hug! I'm sure HRH will greet her somewhere in the other realm and send her a message from you.
My condolences to you and your family.
Mother loss is so uniquely complicated. I'm very sorry, Debra. May warm loving memories lift you through these dark days. I love the blue butterfly symbolism.
Take gentle care.
Thinking about you at this sad and difficult time Debra - I shall never see a blue butterfly again without remembering its deeper symbolic meaning.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
blessings
~*~
I am so very sorry for you loss. I know that your mother would have had to been very special because she had YOU as a daughter. Blue butterfly and the symbol that it represents, that is lovely. Hugs to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I do enjoy the symbolism of the blue butterfly. My dear friend at work just lost her mom this week and she was 92. So amazing the longevity of women- I cant imagine the stories they had.
Oh Debra, I'm so sorry for you loss. I'm glad your mom had a long and interesting life. My mother also passed away over 20 years ago in August, so it is always a sad month for me. Anyway dear, I too have an affinity for butterflies as did my mom. May the happy memories you have of your Mom comfort you as time goes by. ~ Diane
So very sorry to hear of the loss of your mom.... I know this pain all too well and last month marked a year since I lost my mom and i'm still grieving.... my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Hugs.
Blessings,
Jill
Sending you love, warm thoughts, and a bit of my heart. The blue butterfly is a wonderful image. I'm grateful to your mother for giving us you. Wishing you peace, gratitude, and the sweetest of memories.
Oh Debra.....life is so very precious and the loss of one you love is so very heart wrenching.. Sending you warm thoughts and hugs from here.
xo
Jo
such a soft lovely symbol for the spirit passing,,it sure hurts to lose our mum no matter the age,, take care my friend,,
93, bless your mom! I am so sorry for your loss Deb! I think the butterfly is such a beautiful symbol. Know that you are loved by many and we are all sending you Big Hugs. Take Care my friend!
....my condolences. :(
The butterflies of our souls.
Condolences ... but celebrate her long and wonderful life.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother's passing away.
Bless you Debbie.
Coffee is on
My most sincerest condolences for your loss.
So very sorry to hear, Debra.
The butterfly--appropriate in so many ways. The morning after my father died, I went outside and a very large, black butterfly landed on a bush next to me and hung around for a few minutes. I knew it was my dad reassuring me that he was okay. He was very tall and had black hair and a dark complexion. The butterfly was a good fit.
Love,
Janie
My condolences Debra, losing a parent is the startling ending to a chapter of our own life story. Take all the time you need to grieve, your loss is not something that you will get over, it's only something that you will get used to. What a good age to reach 93, if only we should be so lucky and to have good health as well.
Heartfelt sympathy and empathy for your loss. I hope you're thoughts of her are full of happy moments. I am so sorry.
Thought's to you and your family
I am so sorry to read this, Debra. It doesn't matter how long they were with you...it's never easy. Forty years later and I still miss my mom, but my grief has softened in all those years and I have finally accepted that it is part of the natural order of the universe...as are beautiful blue butterflies.
So sorry to hear about your mother but I'm sure that you can still feel her with you as she has been all your life and always will be.
Warm loving hugs to you my dear. I am very sorry that living means losing along the way.
I am very sorry for your loss. Lovely post.
I'm so very saddened, Debra. I don't even know you, yet tears are falling from my eyes. Maybe it's because we share the same story. My mom is also in a nursing home. I hold you in my heart and am sending you healing vibes. Much love your way.
I am so sorry to hear this. I look forward to your comments on my site (and I do read your posts on your blog as well) and through them I feel I have got to know you in a small way. There are real people behind the blogs I read with real lives and when I do not see them for a while I wonder what happened. I am sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. At least there is no suffering where she is now.
My heart goes out to you. As you mourn, as you picture that butterfly flying away, I hope it brings you a small measure of comfort to know there are so many of us out here thinking about you, sending warm thoughts to you and your family.
Hi Debra! So, so sorry to read that your mother has passed away. I love the butterfly connection, and I think I will invest in a butterfly charm for my sister, to keep her close by. Sending you comfort-thoughts. Mourning is such a personal and necessary time, I think they did it better in the old days, when you wore a black band on your arm. At lease it would allow the people around you not to forget that you are in a time of transition... Be well, Lois.
My deepest condolences, my dear Debra. I can feel the grief through your words, the loss... and like your closing suggests, also the peace. 93 is a good life, and she went knowing she had raised a great woman (well, more than one, but you know what I mean). May her soul fly in the fields she dreamed of while she shared this plane with us. May your grief treat you gently, my friend.
I am sorry to hear this Debra, but you mom is free just as are the butterflies.
Oh I’m sorry to hear that! My condolences .
I am so sorry for your loss. Even when they live a long life, losing ones mother is hard. May you still feel her arms around you, comforting you. Lovelovelove to you,
Deborah
I saw beautiful butterflies at a nature center this summer with the family. I thought the big blue ones were wonderful. Interesting that the blue butterfly is code for a deceased resident.
Such a sad event. Wishing you warm happy memories of her. All the best.
My condolences. My father passed too mid July at 86 but vastly different emotional circumstances. I am glad you’re grieving, it is a healthy way to care for yourself.
So sorry to hear about your mum's passing. Sending my thoughts and best wishes your way. xxx
Debra. I'm playing catch up again and just read this post. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing one of your parents is such a strange feeling. It's like your parents are always supposed to be there like they have always been. My thoughts are with you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending lots of love and strength during this difficult time.
What a lovely gesture from the nursing home staff - a blue butterfly.
Coming to terms with death is always so difficult.
Take care dear friend and when you are able to, rejoice in the memories you shared.
Big hugs
Peggy xxxx
Sorry I didn't see this post I've been having internet issues. I'm so sorry to read this post. I'm glad your mother is now at peace. She lived to a very good age. Thinking of you at this time.
So sorry for you loss Deborah - it is never easy to lose someone as irreplaceable as your mom.
i am sorry but i want to hug you tight right now my precious wonderful dear Debra!
you are an incredibly daring and inspirational soul!
you dear mother sounded just like mine one ,a true fighter but she was defeated by hidden cancer which was revealed by doctors when there was no way back !
I wish her butterfly sou keep flying happily in beautiful gardens of heaven ,amen!
stay blessed with strength my friend!!!
Good morning, Debra girl...back by to say that the Lemon Curd is not hard to make at all. the first time I made some, I turned my back for 2 seconds and the eggs cooked and I had to strain the curd...which wasn't a good thing...get some lemons, make some lemon curd..make yourself a German pancake...and you will fall in love forever....
Loss is hard - no matter the circumstances or time of life. May your mother's peace be with you also.
back by to say...thinking of you and shedding a few tears...life gets so hard at times....just know I am sending warm thoughts to you....
Calvin has gotten Much worse... the Hell with trying ti "apologize" to that rude Fat Bastard !!!
Our best to you and yours, dear Lady Debra
Oh...am so sorry for your loss, understand your thoughts about her being free. What a beautiful way to think of it, butterflies are such beautiful creatures. I didn't know that about Greek Mythology.
So sorry to hear that. My deepest condolences.
http://www.henatayeb.blogspot.com
...back by this morning to say I am thinking of you...hoping you are doing well. xo
My condolences in the loss of your dear mother.
Sorry for your loss. 93 is a good age but you will miss her. Love the blue butterfly. The butterfly is also the image used by Regina Palliative Care. Released from a prison to a new life.
Hi Debra :) xx
I'm sorry for your loss...the butterfly is very appropriate. Please take care, you're in my thoughts and heart. xx
Hey Debra, You've been very quiet. I hope that you are doing ok and that you are allowing the people you love to comfort you right now. Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you.♥
Very sorry to hear about your mum :(
Please accept my sincere sympathy in your loss. The death of one's mother is never easy, no matter what age.
...back to say thanks for your visit...and hope your heart is feeling a little less broken today. We all share in the loss of a mother.
Hi Debra - I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. My heart aches for you - I know how that feels.
I haven't been on blogs much this summer either, so just read this. Hugs!
Sorry about losing your mother. I like the idea of the butterfly.
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