How Many Shades?

I guess it's time for me to finally get on the Fifty Shades of Grey bandwagon too. Consensual BDSM is not my personal cuppa tea, y'understand, but I'm not prepared to be a Judgy McJudge if it's yours. We've ALL got our favourite kinks, now don't we?

Of course there will always be the HIPSTERS who are keen to be blasé or ironic about the whole thing.

(Hey, I read the One Shade of Grey trilogy 3 times . . . so only 47 more times to go!)

But while there's nothing wrong with a little fantasy, eventually we DO all have to get back to reality. Unexciting, dull, GREY reality . . . .

Remember your safe word, everyone!

A Lava Cake, a Mickey of Rye, and Thou

Today I'm going to answer some food-and-drink questions posed in my "Ask Me Anything" post of last month.

Dawna of Dawna Lee -- Because It Matters asks: "What's your favourite food?"
This is a really tough question for me because food has always been my drug of choice. Forget booze, drugs, gambling, etc -- food is my downfall. Desserts in particular are my Achilles' Heel. I've really had to cut back on my consumption over the years. Now I try to satisfy my cravings just by looking at food porn on the internet.

Crystal of Crystal Collier wants to know "What is your favourite type of cheese?"
Like most Canadians of my generation, I was raised on Velveeta and Kraft slices, so it's a wonder I have a taste for cheese at all. As an adult, my cheese preferences remain pretty conservative. Asiago is about as wild 'n crazy as I get. I cannot abide strong-tasting goat cheese in any form. And thank you for asking this question because my favourite Monty Python sketch of all time is "The Cheese Shop" and now I have a reason to post it!



Dexter Klemperer of Dexter's Midnight Musings inquires: "Canadian Whisky, Irish Whiskey, Scotch or bourbon?"
Gimme a mickey of good Canadian rye with Coca-Cola as mix, of course -- the de rigueur cocktail of choice at only the finest of Canuckian bush parties!

This next question may not seem food-related but the answer will reveal otherwise. Mistress Maddie of A Day with The Mistress Borghese asks: "If you could take over for a God or Goddess, which one would it be and why?"
I would want all the perks of being Divine but without any of the endless work and aggravation that always seem to come with the job description. So I think I'd choose to take over for the Norse Goddess Idunn, She Who Renews. Her only responsibility appears to be keeping Asgard well-stocked with Apples of Eternal Youth and Immortality. How hard could that be? I bet there's lots of leisure time with that position.

And finally, the Insomniac of Insomniac's Attic says: "Want to do lunch? You know, if I ever get up to Edmonchuk?"
Sure thing! Just let me know when you'll be in #YEG. If it's summer, maybe we can dine at Edmonton's favourite food truck, eh?

Thanks, Lesley Gore

Today on International Women's Day, I want to pay tribute to Lesley Gore, the mid-1960s American teenage singing sensation who just died last month at 68. Most of her hit songs were typical of their day -- boy-crazy pop ditties heavy on female masochistic lyrics like It's My Party and Judy's Turn to Cry. But then there was You Don't Own Me, a 1963 song of defiance and independence that foreshadowed the coming feminist movement of the 1970s -- a song ahead of its time and one that still resonates today.



As an adult, Leslie Gore came out and lived her life openly as a lesbian. So in our community, we always sing her famous song with one small change to the lyrics -- "You don't own me -- don't say I can't go without the boys!"

May she truly be in lesbian heaven now, although I'm not sure it would look quite like this, LOL --



And in farewell, I'm going to post just one more of her bouncy tunes -- a particular favourite of mine and one that My Rare One and I still sing to each other all the time!

Spring Forward Tonight!

Daylight Saving Time is upon us once more -- don't forget to turn your clocks forward an hour TONIGHT before you go to bed!

You know two jurisdictions that DON'T switch to Daylight Saving Time? Saskatchewan and Hawaii. Believe me, that's the ONLY thing those two places have in common!

Ha ha, I leave MY car clock on Daylight Saving Time ALL YEAR LONG! Tomorrow it will actually tell the correct time again, YAY!

My cat Her Royal Highness HATED any fiddling with the time of her gushy food meal. Unless she fiddled with the time herself by nagging us RELENTLESSLY to push it forward.

Of course, don't EVER confuse "spring forward" with the arrival of ACTUAL SPRING. Two entirely unrelated concepts, especially here in Canada.

Have you ever forgotten to "spring forward" and then been LATE for everything the next day? Yeah, we've all been there!

I know the girl and her cat in this photo aren't late for their train to whichever fantasy land they're off to but I'm too lazy to look up a different image. After all, I've got to preserve my energy because I'm about to lose an HOUR'S worth of SLEEP tonight. GAH!

Nutella Forever!

Did you know that last year was the 50th anniversary of Nutella? A banner milestone celebrated in the photo below by Michele Ferrero, Italy's richest man, the multi-billionaire maker of Nutello (and also Ferrero Rocher chocolates, Kinder eggs and TicTacs).

Mr. Ferrero just passed away in February at the age of 89. He's gone to meet his own maker now. Which leads me to contemplate this existential question . . . .

What would our world be like without Nutella? A thinner and healthier place perhaps, but less delicious.

Nutella is always there for us to be our comforting friend. You know what I'm talking about.

But, believe me, we need to put down that Nutella and sloooowly back away.

However, the marketplace conspires against us. Can you believe there's a new cookie product to replace spoons and make it even easier to eat Nutella right out of the jar? "Nutella dippers," they're called.

The Nutella empire just keeps on growing and expanding . . . .

So what chance do we have? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Stock up now!

This Classic Chassis Ain't Old!

Jaz/Joyce of Octoberfarm and Leeanna of Can We Have a New Witch Ours Melted both want to know how old am I? Well, here's a hint, girls --

[art by intergalacticookie]

That's right! I was born in '57 and that makes me 57 at the moment! I hope this is a lucky year for me because of the Double 57 -- like a Harmonic Convergence or something, LOL!

Now, it's true that some mornings I look and feel more like this 57 Chevy --

[photo by TheMan268]

But that's easily remedied. All I have to do is just suck back a couple of black coffees from my special morning mug . . .

. . . and I'm ready to go out and take on the world again, baby!

[art by John Dyess]

And I still got nice fins too, if I do say so myself.

[Bonus points to Rosemary of Where Five Valleys Meet who noticed that I actually already spilled the beans age-wise in my recent post about the Canadian flag. Oopsie!]

Binge, No Purge

You know that My Rare One and I are world-class athletes, don't you?

We are regular competitors at the Netflix Olympics.

Season 3 of our fave Netflix series, House of Cards, has just been posted! Let the binge begin!

There are many excellent parodies of House of Cards on YouTube but this recent one by Sesame Street takes the cake! Frank Underwolf gets his comeuppance here but will Frank Underwood get what's coming to him in the actual series?