Thursday, 20 May 2010

Canada's Sacred Sport (Part 2)

Hockey is Canada's Sacred Sport because it is the ONLY sport blessed by Jesus Christ Himself. While the Gospels are strangely silent on this fact, Canadians know the truth. Yes, there's nothing Jesus liked to do better than strap on the blades and play a little shinny on the Sea of Galilee every time it froze over (which happened regularly 2000 years ago, before global warming).

Don't believe me? Here's the photographic evidence, you Doubting Thomases:


(Nice stick-handling, JC! But helmets are mandatory so where's Yours? I know the breeze feels good blowing through Your mullet but that's no reason to risk a head injury, young man. Your Mom says "Wear a helmet, doofus!")


(And He coached, too! What a great guy! But set a good example and get those helmets on, for the love of You-Know-Who!)



(He was also pretty versatile between the pipes! And of course, He's the Captain of His Team -- see the "C" on His jersey? But Jesus, get a goalie's mask! Who the hell do you think you are -- Gump Worsley?)



(Oh, that one's just mean . . . . But hey, lookin' pretty sexy with that goalie's mask, eh? [Finally!] And Jeez! Jeez is wearing a Playoffs Beard!)

19 comments:

Suzie Ridler said...

My god that is the weirdest thing ever Debra! Thanks for the good and hearty morning laugh, you have taken surrealism to a higher level. It reminds me of my favourite Kathleen Edwards song (Canadian too), Hockey Skates:

I am so sick of consequence and the look on your face
I am tired of playing defense
I don't even have hockey skates

faerwillow said...

~you are too much...i do have to agree with you he is lookin pretty darn good in the last pic...warm wishes and brightest blessings~

City Wiccan said...

I think that even Jesus himself would laugh at this :)

Jeanne said...

Now that is just too funny!
But I want to know how he can skate with that flowing skirt around his legs......

mxtodis123 said...

I don't know where you get this stuff, but I love it. This one is too, too funny.
Mary

Little Messy Missy said...

Boy that Jesus Christ guy really get around, I swear I saw him in my cereal yesterday!

Love This Life.. said...

Tea shot thru nose!! haaaaaaaa

Jaliya said...

Debra, you crack me up! I'm loving your hockey posts. I have to admit that I haven't been a hockey fan since about 1975, when I turned 16, and other things began to matter more. I do remember, though, watching the final of the Canada-USSR tourney in 1972 when Paul Henderson scored that ASTONISHING eleventh-hour goal and won us the series! ... I was in Grade 8, at a girls' private school ... and Heaven be praised, we all got to gather in the gym in front of a TV to watch the game. Astounding! Even the teachers were pressing their hankies to their chests and sputtering with tiny cheers ...

Blueberry said...

Well, that's one way to walk on water -- wait until it freezes, and wear skates.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

that's pretty damn funny..but does your sport of hockey leave a hole in the roof so that Jesus can watch them play?........noooooooooo

mxtodis123 said...

There is a little something for you over on my Dreams blog.
Mary

madtexter ☺☺☺☺☺☺ (corey james) said...

Wow, that Jesus...He's da man! I heard he was missing one of his front teeth, too.

billy pilgrim said...

if i remember correctly jesus made the save but esposito scored on the rebound.

L said...

LOL...the irony here is if JC doesn't wear a helmet, he's a sure candidate for a halo( which is a cervical brace used to immobilise cervical fractures and aid healing of spinal injuries, that JC would risk getting from not wearing the helmet!) LOL...too funny, great post, thanku for laughs!

Writing Without Periods! said...

Those are so funny. I love Jesus play hockey...who knew?
Mary

Sarita Rucker said...

Wow. You Canadians really are serious about your hockey.

Irmata said...

I feel a conversion coming on! The Spirit of Hockey is afire in my loins (at least, I think that's what that burning is...)

Have you ever heard "Wayne Gretzky" by Goldfinger? Hilarious XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSFz9Akr8Uw

Debra She Who Seeks said...

That's hilarious! Hockey is so homophobic, anything that takes the mickey out of it is great! I'd like to see a version of this recorded by, oh I don't know, Don Cherry?

Sarah said...

ROFLMAO...that is just too funny!!