I was wondering how long Lady Zaza's "perfect life" with Lady Gaga was going to last. Not too long it seems, according to this urgent email which I just received from my footloose feline --
Hello, it's me again. DISASTER HAS STRUCK!!!
On the weekend, Lady Gaga's tour hit Phoenix, Arizona. While the roadies were setting up and Lady Gaga was doing her sound check, I took a little stroll around the city to see the sights. You know Arizona's new law that allows the police to check the immigration papers of anyone they regard as suspicious? Well, they determine who is suspicious not only through RACIAL profiling but through SPECIES profiling too! A big cop stopped me and said, "You don't look like an AMERICAN cat to me, furball -- show me your papers!"
It's so unfair! It's not MY fault that I entered the United States illegally with my gypsy band. We were just seeking a bit of southern sun and warmth in the middle of winter! HOW COULD THAT BE WRONG? Everybody in Canada wants to do that! But not even Lady Gaga could persuade the authorities that they were making a horrible mistake. What is this world coming to, when a CELEBRITY is ignored?!?
To make a long story short, the fascists are DEPORTING me back to Canada on the next plane to Edmonton! DEPORTING ME!!!
Please come and pick me up at the airport at your earliest opportunity. Signed . . . your poor persecuted kitty.