The Festivus cards have been sent and the pretend donations to fake charities have been made:
Tonight's dinner will be the traditional Festivus meal of meatloaf with all the trimmings. For my guests I've also got a couple of special cakes decorated in the spirit of the holiday:
During dinner, we'll begin The Airing of Grievances -- always a special time in any family! I've been saving up my petty resentments and toxic feelings all year long! I will commence The Airing of Grievances ritual with the time-honoured Festivus words: I got a lot of problems with you people. And now, you're gonna hear about it.
And finally, Festivus concludes with everyone's favourite ritual -- the Feats of Strength -- when the Head of the Household is pinned to the floor, signifying that Festivus is officially over. Around here, the Head of the Household is Her Royal Highness, of course. But she's pretty tough to wrestle with, so our Festivus may continue for days!
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