No, I don't mean the airplane disaster Mayday. What kind of sicko would wish you a happy one of those? Sheesh, gimme some credit.
And I don't mean the militaristic Soviet-style International Workers' Day May Day because that was never no fun for nobody (ooo, triple negative score!)
I mean the good old-fashioned pagan festival of running around nekkid in the fields with a horny goat god May Day!