Friday, July 4, 2014

The Glorious Fourth

Hello, Americans! Canada and the USA have been good friends forever (not counting your unsuccessful invasion attempts during the War of 1812) so we Canadians would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day, eh?


We like you so much we're throwing you a party! Guess what? We made you a pizza -- mmm, bacon. And not Canadian back bacon either. Real American bacon.


And we baked you an awesome cake for dessert too!


We even laid in a supply of American beer, just because it's your special day.


So what time is it, America? No, it's not Miller Time. It's . . .


And sho, old buddy, old pal, *hic* to cap off the feshtivities, may we just shay:



42 comments:

Laurie M said...

oh you always make me laugh out loud, sitting here all alone, laughing, yes you do!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

and every single one of those drunks will be right in front of my house all day watching boats and fireworks...ugh!

mxtodis123 said...

Thanks for the morning chuckle. That is a rather interesting pizza, I must say.
Mary

Snap said...

LOL! Happy Happy to us all!

DEZMOND said...

bitch yes, sexy not so much.....

Ms Misantropia said...

America, fuck yeah! :)

My man says he doesn't want to celebrate his home country but he did sing 'Star Spangled Banner' this morning :)

Jeanne said...

Thank you Debra! Love the last two! :0)

Anne O'Leary said...

I'll be spending the day hiding behind the couch just in case one these drunken hillbillies over here decide to play "let's lynch the foreigner" as part of their celebration. Jaysus, they might even tie me to a pole and stick a firecracker up my arse while they sing "The Star Spangled Banner"

Lois said...

Lol - that made me giggle at my desk. :) You have an incredible sense of humour, love it.

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

You never cease to make me laugh... now pass that bacon cake, will ya...

Fundy Blue said...

Deliciously funny, Debra! Thank you!

knitwit said...

Hilarious. I will never again think of my neighbour to the south as anything but a sexy bitch!

Leeanna said...

AHAHAHAAHahahaahahaaa!
Yeah, let's drunk dial England. I love these! So funny!

Adam said...

We are like England's children. Except we never call and often make a scene.

JACKIESUE said...

thank you for the birthday wishes...I do love our Canaderians..tits up Canada...we loves the shit out of you.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

Hahahaha...these are great! I especially love the drunk dial England one!

Sparkless said...

In my part of Canada we call Canadian bacon, ham. We call the strips bacon. Is it just a marketing ploy that they sell ham and call it bacon?

Green Monkey said...

:))))))))) that was fun! now, I want bacon.

Linda Wildenstein said...

love, love, love our Canadian cousins....sharing the brewskis, grilling the dogs, prank calling England.....yep, works for me

G. B. Miller said...

Thanks for the chuckle, although the blue stuff on the pizza frightens me.

Father Nature's Corner

greekwitch said...

Haha!!! What was that blue thing on the pizza though?

lgsquirrel said...

Haha. I like the bulldog and the sentiment.......but American beer? No thanks.

Pickleope Von Pickleope said...

Yeah, I'm with greekwitch, what are those blue things, potatoes? Also, if you're going to offer American beer, please, no Budweiser. Ick.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I've been wondering what those blue things are too. My guess would be squished blueberries? Whatever they are, they sure don't look very appetizing. Good thing there's bacon!

bill lisleman said...

WOW I didn't know we appeared so alcoholic. Don't believe what you see on reality TV or my brother's FB page.

Professor Chaos said...

Of all the American stereotypes (most of which we richly deserve) the one that really bugs me is the idea that our beer is all like Bud Light or Coors or whatever. There is some damn fine beer made in the good old USofA. You should try Anchor Steam from San Francisco, or Terrapin Rye Ale from Athens, GA. Or anything from Sierra Nevada, Monday Night Brewing, or Red Hook. Seriously, we make some of the best beer you'll ever find.

Sadly, yes, Bud Light is way more popular than any of those, because most of us are idiots.

Professor Chaos said...

Oh, but I'll have a slice of that bacon pizza, please!

klahanie said...

Nice one, eh! Always good to note your gosh, darn, "have a nice day" noisy neighbours. Evidently, the UK has a "special relationship" with America. Well, what about that, eh. Canada is gonna' wish America a peaceful Fourth of July, y'all.

Great stuff, Debra.

Gary :)

Magic Love Crow said...

Hilarious Debra! LOL!

The Happy Whisk said...

Dezzy: That's not very nice.

Debra: Hope your move is going well and things are moving along nicely for you.

Cheers and boogie boogie.

Magaly Guerrero said...

Why do I have the Team America: World Police's theme song in my head? LOL!

Miss Val's Creations said...

Awww! Thank you! Those look like blue potatoes on the pizza. Yup, we have those. I buy the blue potato chips sometimes. Mmm!

heartinhand said...

That was a pretty awesome tribute!

Linda said...

Hahaha!
Always something funny over here!
Cheers!
Linda :o)

Guillaume said...

I hope the Yanks had real beers to celebrate Independence Day, not some lousy Bud Light or Budweiser.

Riot Kitty said...

HA! Love the cake. What the fuck is the blackish blue stuff on the French toast?

Shalet Jimmy said...

What a tribute.....

Dexter Klemperer said...

Very nice except you forgot to send us one of those beer vending machines that opens when you sing to it.

Cheryl said...

Thanks for the hilarious well wishes!! HaHa!

Francie M said...

Hahahahah -love the cake, and the pizza but not the beer! :)

Jim said...

LOL!

CraveCute said...

How did I miss this???? I love the pizza bacon flag!! You find the best stuff!