Monday, 6 April 2020

Time To Go Grocery Shopping!




Remember to put everyone's needs on the grocery list.


Suit up!


Once you get to the grocery store,
be ready to rumble!


Grab a cart! Disinfect the handle!


Remember to social distance yourself from others!


And then hit the aisles!



Don't forget the fresh produce!


And when you arrive home,
hope you get back in!


But let's be truly serious for a moment --


So it's very important to . . . 


Here are guidelines that come from
front-line grocery workers themselves --
  1. Don’t bring your whole family to the store — come alone if you can.
  2. Don’t get in an employee’s personal space.
  3. Don’t ignore any markers on the floor that encourage social distancing.
  4. Don’t go to the store if you feel sick.
  5. Don’t give employees unsolicited advice on how to protect themselves.
  6. Don’t come to the store “just to get out of the house.”
  7. Don’t touch stuff you don’t intend to buy.
  8. Don’t tell employees how “lucky” they are to have a job.
  9. Don’t complain about items being out of stock.
  10. Don’t ask them to “check in the back” for out-of-stock items, either.
  11. Don’t complain to your cashier about having to touch the keypad to complete your transaction.
  12. Don’t try to sanitize the credit card machine before touching it.
  13. Don’t fight with other customers over hard-to-find items.
  14. Don’t complain about the store’s new hours.
  15. If your store has set up special shopping hours for elderly, pregnant, or immunocompromised customers, don’t violate them.
  16. Don’t whine about store limits on how much toilet paper or hand sanitizer you can buy.
  17. Don’t pay with cash if you have the option of using a credit/debit card.
  18. Don’t tell employees that you think all these new precautions are an “overreaction” or “unnecessary.”
  19. Just don’t be rude!

52 comments:

Hot guys said...

That first meme WON, at least IMHO. So damn funny. And true, too. Gotta follow those guidelines, though.

Mistress Maddie said...

You don't want to know what I'll be wearing when I have to finally go out. I know that tin foil hat may be included from your competition

Moving with Mitchell said...

"Tip of the iceberg" ... that is too good. A friend of ours DID see two shoppers at a nearby grocery strore last week in WWII-era gas masks.

Tundra Bunny said...

Has it come to the first picture already? I thought we were still a few weeks out from Mad Max territory.... that poor cat hanging out the window to remind her owner to buy more catnip was the best! LOL! Thanks for the laughs, Deb!

anne marie in philly said...

those last points - FUCK YEAH!

DEZMOND said...

I hate going shopping these days as the mask fogs up my glasses and I can't see a bloody thing. And I tried everything, all the tips around the net, nothing works. And if I go in without a mask they all look at me like I'm crazy rude.

Parnassus said...

I liked the 4 for $5, Limit 3.
--Jim

Bob said...

That last one: Yes! Yes! Yes!

While I was at the grocery checkout, this woman came rolling up me, unloading her cart even though there are signs to stay six feet back and sign to say don't unload your cart until the belt is empty. All I did was turn to look and she shouted "WHAT?"

Luckily, before I said one word, and you know what one word I was thinking, a manager came over and told her to remove her items and back up. She cussed him out and said she'd never be back and stormed out the door.

The manager, who clearly has my sense of humor, shouted, "See you next week Helen."

The entire store cracked up.

Ol'Buzzard said...

Who could predict this.... Oh shit! I live fifty-five miles from Stephen King.
the Ol'Buzzard

Bathwater said...

I saw several families at the grocery store. People are not taking this seriously enough!

Frank said...

Thanks for the humor, we really need it.
But now we are being told NOT to even go to the grocery store or pharmacy. It is getting scarier. Stay healthy.

Travel said...

Good tips, stay safe, stay sane.

Cynthia said...

I miss grocery shopping. We have groceries delivered by "Peapod." We have to, as I have a chronic lung disease. Thankful for Peapod, but when you go on line to order, a lot of things are "out of stock."

^.^ said...

Friend D. Sending much love … and much snow:) Always, cat. https://www.youtube.com/embed/fDKYynfF6Uc?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0

Contrary Guy said...

Unfortunately, my son works in a grocery store and working monster hours now because two in his department quit because they not willing to risk working there and the rest need to cover their hours. Whoever thought this would a "risk your life" job.

The Captain said...

The "Be Kind to the Frontline" is done by the brilliant local (to me) artist Pete McKee. Murals of his work adorn the sides of buildings in Sheffield. He's also part of a musical parody band called "The Everly Pregnant Brothers". His art and the music are both worth a search.

brewella deville said...

I try to buy a little treat for the cashiers. I'll grab a chocolate bar in the checkout line and give it back to them after I pay, just a little thank you goes a long way. It doesn't always work, though, because at Target the other day I grabbed a gift card and put a little money on it and tried to give it to the checker. She said Target didn't allow them to accept gifts from customers.

This N That said...

I like all the "don'ts at the end..Some people are just plain stupid.."tip of the iceberg" is funny..Actually they all are..Hoarding edition..Can't wait to be ht by that..Should require a license..not that it would help...

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I just don't go anymore. Rumor has it that skunk soup isn't all that bad.. eaten outdoors while wearing a clothes pin on your nose.

These were funny and the points should be common sense but unfortunately some people... meh.

The Happy Whisk said...

Hubby not getting in the house made me laugh. That was great. And that lettuce, may it never make it back to the fridge. That is not fudge people. Ewww. lol. Happy Monday, Debra.

Mike said...

I was at the store yesterday. Our governor (Missouri) final issued say inside orders along with 'everyone wears a mask'. So were they wearing masks? About 50%. We still have people here that think this is a big hoax. My SIL's brother is one of them. Ah, living in a red state.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ The Captain -- Hey, thanks for the info on the artist! I didn't know who produced this image, only that it's great and oh so timely!

Busy Bee Suz said...

I laughed so hard at the cat screaming his grocery needs out the window. Luckily we don't need to get out often; I'll eat everything before I go again. :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh, and yes, your guidelines are spot on!

Leanna said...

Thanks for posting that shopping guidelines list. I love the one with the cat hanging out the window. These are all so funny thanks.
Stay safe and healthy, doll.

e said...

What strange times we are living through... might as well find the humor where we can, eh?

Lady M said...

Ha love the 6 ft motherfucker. I swear that me.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Hahahahaha
Oh dear, not too far fetched, though, it’s gonna be The Hunger Games if we don’t do social distancing. Please don’t follow the US example
That list of Do/Don’t is great. Stores should create posters with it.

XoXo

The Blog Fodder said...

Good advice at the end. And great memes.
I let Tanya go to town. Haven't been out of the neighborhood in weeks. Most of the people I get close to are 6 feet under when I walk the dogs through the cemetery

Janie Junebug said...

20. Say thank you to everyone.

Our mail carrier is not fond of coming to my house. She is deathly afraid of the dogs, although they are never outside in the front and they are never loose (yeah, I know she needs a different job but maybe this is the only position she can have for now). Yesterday Carol thanked her for working during this crisis and today her attitude was completely different. She was so nice to me and called me "baby girl." A thank you can make all the difference in the world and maybe now she'll feel that I'm a responsible dog owner who keeps control of my pups. It made me realize that every time I see her, I need to thank her and make sure that the front door isn't even the tiniest bit ajar, because it frightens her. Franklin is so mild mannered, but the way he barks at strangers makes him seem fierce.

Love,
Janie

Guillaume said...

That's pretty much how it is.

Joanne Noragon said...

How nice, just to be over this and back to our usual selves.

Magic Love Crow said...

Excellent post!! Thanks Debra!!! Big Hugs!

Susan Kane said...

Great list of do and don't.

Your memes were excellent.

peppylady (Dora) said...

I think most of us could use a laugh. I feel sorry for those clerk out there.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Yes, yes, yes. Thanks for posting those basic rules of etiquette.
It IS funny that things like Top Ramen are now popular, while people don't care to stock up on essentials like water. Crazy times, indeed.
Stay safe and well.

Bohemian said...

I'm sure they'd rather be doing anything than having to be exposed to so much of the Public right now, Bless them! I'm glad a 'List' came out, some people can be so inconsiderate, thoughtless and stupid otherwise!

Adam said...

People will not listen.

Doctor Z said...

There is no way that we're going out to the stores, especially since we live in New York City! I know that we are definitely in a privileged position and that others don't have that option. However, we're staying home and staying out of the way. The hospitals are already maxed out and our healthcare workers are in dire need of protection. They don't need two more people to take care of.

Instead, we've been ordering our groceries from a local, small "Mom and Pop" grocery store that delivers. We order and tip our delivery guy online. We leave our cooler on the front porch and the delivery guy loads it up. He's very grateful for contactless delivery. We chat with him from our window (second floor) and I've left him some hand-sanitizer to make his job a little safer.

pam nash said...

Excellent shopping guidelines. Would be nice if people would practice them. Specially number 19 which should be in all caps, bold, underlined in red. And, practiced all the damn time!

Bea said...

The guidelines are good. May we all be following them!

Liz Hinds said...

Love the video you recommended! It's true, Mary tells Jesus to do it and he says, no, mum, it's not my time,' but ends up doing what his momma told him! You can just picture it.

And I'm like your lady in curlers only without the language. So far.

Rain said...

Great funnies! And great advice at the end Debra. I've gone grocery shopping only a few times in the last month and I've seen many people violating the rules and it's sickening.

DVArtist said...

Love the grocery shopping. Especially the loooonggg cart and the guidelines. Be Safe Elbow Hugs.

RO said...

A few of these memes are laugh out loud funny, but I really love the message about grocery store workers, and I thank you for posting this. Hugs, RO

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

It's amazing what's lurking at the back of the kitchen cupboard, though once you decide to give it a whirl, you might remember why you never finished that cake mix.....

Barbara said...

I especially love the "catnip" and "clothes on". Can't wait to share.

Martha said...

HAHAHAHA! Loved these. Humour is needed more than ever right now!

Ur-spo said...

Wasn't it only last month people were all on intermittent fasting and no carb diets? Apparently all this nonsense went out the window if people are going to die they want their last meals to be proper food like noodles.

baili said...

hahahaha................

what an incredibly hilarious selection dear Debra
you just made my day lol

that cat screaming from balcony reminded me so much lol
thank you so much
take,stay well!

Fundy Blue said...

I have to brave the grocery store on Wednesday. :( At least these made me laugh!

RO said...

Let's give it up for the front line who continue to give their all no matter what. Hugs and hope you are well! RO