Saturday, 23 October 2021

A Long-Awaited Good Read


I don’t tend to hold grudges. I’m pretty good at just saying “fuck you” and moving on. However, I had the quiet, but immense, satisfaction last month of learning that a hated, abusive bully from my past had died. I’ve been periodically scanning the obits for years, waiting for this happy event.

If I lived closer to where the bastard is buried, I would immediately go dance on his grave. And by "dance," I mean "spit."

I still have a smile on my face about this news.

Now to plan that road trip . . . .


40 comments:

Travel said...

Many have someone they feel that way about, outliving them is the best revenge

Mistress Maddie said...

That last one says it! I do this dance everyday when I hear of anti vaxxers buying the farm.

jaz@octoberfarm said...

i'm hoping to do just that with trump asap!

Boud said...

I had a similar experience a couple of years ago when a nasty little character from school years died. She'd come back into my life by marrying into ny sister's in-law family. And my bullying older sisters tried to force her on me, unaware of the history. They thought she was lovely and we should be friends. As if. Finally the danger's past, I thought, when I happened on her obituary. Likewise when the worst sister went. Sad really. But I think you know that relief that never again will they come at you.

Liz Hinds said...

I think we all know that feeling. Dance down the street to celebrate.

Moving with Mitchell said...

I say “fuck you” and try to move on, but as you know, that’s not always enough. Maybe Sun Tzu wouldn’t approve of our smug satisfaction when the bodies float by. But Mark Twain would.

Cederq said...

I'll note that never rub you or piss you off in some fashion...

pam nash said...

Dance and stomp! I hope to be able to do that to my own bully one day.

Mike said...

It's always satisfying to outlive your bullies.

NanaDiana said...

Hahahaha. I think we all have at least one person in our past that we have no feelings of sadness or remorse when they die. I am sorry you were bullied by this person. At least now, any hold they had on your feelings can be open and burned and gone from your mind and heart. Big hugs- Diana

Parnassus said...

Hello Debra, That Sun Szu quote doesn't say much about the water quality in Chinese rivers. Besides, doesn't that work the other way round? Your enemy can wait for your body to float by. Moreover, gloat with caution--with Halloween so close, your dead nemesis can just come back to haunt you!
--Jim

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ Moving with Mitchell -- Oh, Sun Tzu would approve too. After all, he wrote "The Art of War."

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ Parnassus (Jim) -- Water quality, LOL! And oh yeah, I'm sure there are a few people probably waiting for me to float by too. But I'm doing my best to postpone their satisfaction out of pure spite!

e said...

I've definitely had that happen. I won't say that I was gleeful when I found out about their demise, maybe a smug satisfaction.

Enjoy the dance! Or the spit. Whichever moves you...

Pilar said...

Bullies can be so terrible. I never understood why some people think it's right to cause misery to others. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Guillaume said...

I feel the same about my old RE teacher who died in the early 2000s. I never wished his death, but he was so terrible. And there was that former colleague who was so toxic. He is alive and well (I mean healthy), but soetimes I check his LinkedIn Profile as he suffered a streak of bad luck employment wise and was unemployed for a while. Now if my former employer could go bankrupt...

Lady M said...

Sorry to hear you were bullied. I hope this death brings you some closure.

Bea said...

I get where you are coming from, Debra. While I didn't hate my mother's now dead husband, I did neither like nor respect him. I felt nothing but relief when he died.

DVArtist said...

Yeah I am the fuck you kind of girl but I have to let them know why. I use to hole grudges and one day realized that the only person it was hurting was me. Once I let go of that the fuck you was enough.

peppylady (Dora) said...

If someone told me there no one grave they want to spit on piss on. I would have a hard time believing them.
Coffee is on and stay safe

Janie Junebug said...

It's always a relief to learn that an asshole is gone. Congratulations on a loss that's a gain. I will sing Ding Dong the witch is dead when the worst of my sisters dies.

Love,
Janie

Kirk said...

It's not enough. I'd want to be in the room as that person took their last breath and their last sight was to see me laugh and--if I say anymore I'll incriminate myself.

G. B. Miller said...

So....tell us how you really feel about your arch nemesis.

Unfortunately, I haven't reached that level of nirvana with any former friends/bullies, the most I've ever done mentally to someone is to treat them cold simply because they've lost my respect. Once lost, that usually stays lost.

Linda said...

There's one person I had this with many years ago, but I hear nothing about her anymore. if she'd return in my life somehow, I'm sure the feeling would come back though.

LL Cool Joe said...

I suppose I should feel that way about but my mother but I know I won't.

If you are happy, I'm happy for you.

Magaly Guerrero said...

I shared your feelings. I remember when one of the individuals I've despised most died, and his mother came to my house to ask if I would go to his funeral and forgive what he did to me--everyone knew what the bastard did. I laughed in disbelief. And pretty much told her that if I went to the funeral, it would be to spit on his carcass.

Debi said...

Death is too good for evil people. I say live loooooong and alone, and marinate in your own pew tread
juices.

This N That said...

Sorry for your loss LOL..I'm happy to say that I never had a strong hate for anyone..Lots of dislikes and "can't stands"..I hope you get that chance to "dance"!!

brewella deville said...

A good grudge keeps the wrinkles away.

JP said...

This reminds me of reading about what Bette Davis allegedly said when she heard Joan Crawford had died. "You should never say bad things about the dead, only good… Joan Crawford is dead. Good.”
JP

Ol'Buzzard said...

a song you can sing while you dance on his grave:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z0Viukzct0
good for you
the Ol'Buzzard

Miss Val's Creations said...

This is a great reminder that bad people do die. That peace must feel good to you now. Bullies suck.

Laurie said...

👍❤️❤️

Fundy Blue said...

I get it, Debra! There are a few graves I'd love to dance on!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ Ol'Buzzard -- It's PERFECT! Thanks!

yellowdoggranny said...

my step mother that survived my daddy was a bitch ...horrible bitch..when she died years later I actually smiled real big and said 'yes. ....oh gee that's too bad.'..and my daughters grandmother (you know..jack's mother) died after making my life miserable I laughed for a couple of days..

Tundra Bunny said...

Light a candle in his memory and then piss on it... if this can be done on his grave, so much the better, LOL!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Yeehaw! Congratulations. It took long enough!

Rommy said...

Relatable content. There are certain people I will take great joy in outliving.

Adam said...

I'm definitely a grudge holder