With Spayed leading the way, we stumbled down a badly-lit urban back alley leading to a seedy gin joint. Its flickering neon sign read “Dudo’s Dumpster Dive.”
“These are the guys I was telling you about,” Spayed whispered to me as we entered and then shouted “Hey, Dudo! Hey, Moose! Long time no see, you double-crossing bastards!”
The bartender Dudo yowled “We’re closed! Get out!” while Moose the bouncer leaped over the bar and viciously attacked us. I easily subdued him with a strategically placed martial arts kick and then handcuffed him securely.
“Who ARE you?” Dudo demanded.
“The name’s Bunny, Tundra Bunny,” I said coolly. “Gimme a carrot juice -- shaken, not stirred.”
We pumped them mercilessly for information about She Who Seeks but they both swore up, down and sideways that they didn’t know her whereabouts.
“You knew perfectly well where that dame was when you betrayed me to the Translesbigay Mafia,” HRH Spayed snarled. “Now you’re gonna pay for that! Which one o' youse wants to permanently take my place in prison?”
“Not me! I’m too pretty for Pawshank!” Dudo shrieked as he shoved his litter-mate Moose aside and jumped through the plate-glass window to escape.
“So much for brotherly love,” Spayed noted dryly. “Guess that means it’ll be you, Moose.”
A quick summons brought Agent Knut, a big polar bear, to the bar. He teleported himself and the downcast captive Moose to Pawshank Penitentiary where, with a simple abracadabra, he turned Moose into Spayed’s form, and then returned with Agent Yuri.
We all had carrot juice to celebrate.
[Story © Tundra Bunny and Debra She Who Seeks, 2024.
Art and photo of art © Debra She Who Seeks, 2023.
You can visit Dudo and Moose at Moving with Mitchell]