Another letter finally arrived today from my AWOL cat, Madame Zara, who ran off with the gypsies earlier this month --
Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I've been busy having a whirlwind romance! Our gypsy band decided to travel down south to keep warm. So we went to Texas but damn if it didn't snow while we were there! Jeez, if I wanted snow, I should have just stayed in Canada! What freaky weather!
Anyway, we set up camp outside some town called East or West or something -- one of the four directions, I don't know. That night we danced by the fire, told fortunes, picked a couple of pockets -- you know, the usual. As I was dancing my wild gypsy dance, I noticed a handsome tom in the audience. He was definitely giving me the eye! Well, one thing soon led to another, as they say. His name is Dexter. Here's his photo:
Isn't he handsome? His eyes can go kind of crazy once in a while, but just look at his gorgeous big ruff -- almost like a lion's! And you know what they say about a big ruff! *giggle*
Dexter wined and dined me and swept me off my paws! We ate at only the finest dumpsters, like the one behind the pizza and BBQ joint. Our main course was a discarded local delicacy called a "skunk egg," if I remember correctly. We washed it down by lapping up a spilled puddle of Dublin Dr. Pepper. Yum! The vintage was superb!
Our love affair was pure heaven for the week that it lasted. But eventually, our gypsy band decided to move on because, after all, we are vagabonds. I begged Dexter to run away with us, but he refused. Turns out that little two-timing bastard had another pussy in his life the whole time -- name of Jackiesue or something -- and he wouldn't leave her for me! So you better believe I gave him a good scratching and threw the bum right out of my life!
Now my heart is broken and I've sworn off toms forever. However, I will triumph in the end and turn this whole ugly experience into Sublime Art by becoming the greatest tragic gypsy dancer that the world has ever known!
Farewell until next time! Many hugs and purrs! Love, Madame Zara