Monday, 20 January 2020

EMERGENCY FUNDRAISER!


Hello, everyone. Her Royal Highness the Cat here.

Once again I must take up my duties as a
member of the Royal Family in order
to render service to my tribe.

I come to you today, dear friends and admirers, with an

URGENT APPEAL 

on behalf of my beloved Prince Harry 
and his unfairly maligned wife Meghan.

As you've undoubtedly heard, the Duke and Duchess
of Sussex are retiring from all Royal Duties, giving up
their royal HRH status, and moving to Canada for
six months of each year.


More to the point, they will 
no longer be receiving public
taxpayer support from Britain.

They intend to become financially independent,
but will they REALLY be able to keep themselves
in the manner to which they are accustomed?

They can only rely on their personal fortune
of $40 million in the bank,
plus private support of $5 million
every year from Harry's Dad, Prince Charles.

So I fear for them, I do, the poor darlings.

DISASTER IS LOOMING!


It is unclear at this moment whether the
Canadian government will chip in with
major tax dollars to provide security for the couple.

My skinflint human had the UNUTTERABLE GALL to
email the Prime Minister of Canada and 
his Minister of Finance to protest any such
use of our tax money.

"No welfare for the wealthy!" she told them.

My gawd, is BOLSHEVISM next on her agenda?


So I must turn to

ALL YOU
KIND AND COMPASSIONATE SOULS

and beseech you to donate
something, ANYTHING,
to help these poor urchins!

All donations may be sent to:

Her Royal Highness the Cat
c/o She Who Seeks blog
Edmonton, Alberta
Canada

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

57 comments:

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Haha
The photoshop with the trailer behind is a nice touch!

XoXo

Brian Joseph said...

I have followed only the most basic details of the situation. Though I think that I understand why the couple did this, public funds should no go to their security.

anne marie in philly said...

hey HRH, I don't like my tax $$$ going toward the dump's golf trips. and I will never see $45M in my lifetime. so sorry, while I love meghan and harry (esp. harry - rawr), they will have to pinch their pennies like the rest of us working slobs.

Tasker Dunham said...

I wish this could all have been handled in a better and more discreet way, but the toxic English tabloid press wouldn't let it.

nothoughtsnoprayersnonothing said...

You might try being a little more subtle.
You might try being a little less subtle.

One and the same.

Laurie said...

I needed a laugh this morning and you predictably provided it lol, in this situation my money goes to the cat, hands down, surely with that kind of money they are well equipped to cover Any and all their expenses, I know it might be tight but us commoners must all make sacrifices.

Moving with Mitchell said...

I’m with Debra! I wish them the best but, honestly, I don’t give a shit. Thanks for a bit of irreverence as opposed to the blogging angst I keep hitting!

Moving with Mitchell said...

Oh... forgot to mention: the check is in the mail.

Parnassus said...

And to think how people have been wasting their money by donating it to humanitarian-social causes and to research institutes! --Jim

DEZMOND said...

They did not GAVE HRH STATUS UP Lizzie took it from them, it is a huge difference :)
See, this is exactly why I'd rather die than have your Trudie as prime minister, our country would kick them out and then celebrate it in the streets.
I think Lizzie should abdicate, she has shown that she is weak and not able to take control any more, she lets her own family humiliate the kingdom. Give the throne to Charlie and let him bring some strict rules! And I wish all the worst to MeAgain and Harry the Wimpy.

Bob said...

I have opened a GoFundMe for the not-so-royal couple, but it's contingent on Harry living six months a year at my house.
Sorry Meghan, just Harry.

R's Rue said...

I enjoyed this post.

DVArtist said...

So what I have to say is just two words. However, I don't want to offend anyone with my truck driver language. I will kindly just initial it. F.T.

^.^ said...

:) Love, cat.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I'm so glad her Royal Highness has stepped in to assist with these sweet and humble royals; they need us! I'm mailing a check for one million dollars right away!

Lady M said...

I agree with your human - no money. I do like them, however, so I wish them well.

Travel said...

I'd sooner live in that travel trailer in someone's backyard, than in the media circus that has been their life. They are bright people, I am sure they will find a way. I wish them happiness.

pam nash said...

So sorry your Royalness but I don't feel a bit of sympathy for H&M. Life's tough but we all - well most of us anyway, have jobs and responsibilities. I guess they are joining the brotherhood of "idle rich and semi-famous". Too bad.

Kirk said...

Will they accept canned goods?

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Where is a good dog when you need one! Sorry kitty not one single cent from taxpayers!!! They don't want to have to do the work (if you call that work) of royalty but they want to have the benefits of royalty. Nooo welfare for the rich! They can generate money, heck they could just set up a YouTube channel and probably make millions.

e said...

That trailer picture is hilarious!

Leanna said...

How do we know you won't blow all the donated money on cat treats, nip, and toys for yourself? If we donate, will we get a complete notarized list of how the money will be spent? Where did you get the money to buy all the new jewelry? Will they accept canned goods, tea, and sympathy? Who's trailer are they staying in? Meg looks preggers in that trailer picture. Is she knocked up again? Are they going to have a TV show? I heard somewhere that they are going to have a TV morning show called "Harry n'Meg in the Morning". Is it true? Will it be only a Canadian morning show? Is she planning to go back into acting? What is he going to do for a living if the morning show flops?

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Leanna -- HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY MOTIVES AND HONESTY, YOU COMMONER? OF COURSE ALL THE MONEY WILL GO TO HARRY AND MEGHAN! I AM NOTHING IF NOT 100% TRUSTWORTHY AND TRANSPARENT! And as for the Morning Show, I hope that's true because all our morning shows here in Canada are pure crap. Including the American ones we get.

bobbie said...

I'm from the southern part of N. America, so I don't really have a stake in this ~ but I do say NO public $$ either for support or security.
I do wish them well; can you imagine living that circus life?!?!

Marie Smith said...

I am happy for these two. Time to be adults in the real world and pay for everything yourselves.

Tundra Bunny said...

Hey HRH, since you're making so much money PAW OVER CLAW now as a CATTORNEY, why don't you cash in your tiara and support the poor little dears yourself, eh?

Typical ARISTOCAT, let Canadian taxpayers toil away their lives to bask in the glow of British Royal parasites.....in other words, HRH, go pound kitty litter!

I wonder if MADAME GUILLOTINE could be borrowed from Quebec....

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Tundra Bunny -- Why, you . . . you . . . I will NOT DIGNIFY your ABUSIVE, TREASONOUS TIRADE with a response. Good day, madam. I said GOOD DAY.

Su said...

On behalf of all Brits, I can only apologise for landing this whole sorry saga on you. I'm no fan of the royal family but at least we kept the whole mess to ourselves. No longer it would seem.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Hahaha! You sly royal cattress.
But I do support Meghan and Harry. She's been treated horribly, over the most petty of things. Do you know that they've called her irreverent for simply putting her hands in her pockets? She's labeled "vulgar" for -gasp- wearing black. I like, like, love her. She's quite the catch. Harry knows a good thing. They're breaking from financial ties, so they don't need your Canadian dollars. That's silly. They'll get mine, all my grubby American stash of cash. Thanks for forwarding the address, HRH. Tootles!

Insomniac's Attic said...

I hadn't seen the Take Off meme yet - good one! $35,000,000 house in Kitsilano I hear, in lieu of a trailer tho. lol

LL Cool Joe said...

I wish the whole Royal family would piss off to Canada.

Barbara said...

I'm really sad about what has happened to them. But, I agree, I don't want my tax dollars spent on their security team. On the other hand, I'd rather pay their security team than the Trump Children.

Mike said...

I've got a couple of old blankets if they could use them. I'll set them out on my front porch so you can come by and get them.

Old Lurker said...

@Tundra Bunny: well said. We can be sure that Ms High Powered Cattorney has not contributed so much as a can of gushy food to Harry and Meghan.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure Bolshevism is indeed next on Debra's agenda. That is what happens when humans are allowed to run around unsupervised.

Guillaume said...

I am a Republican (in the correct sense of the term) and antimonarchist, and a Quebecker so I am even more antimonarchist, so I say let them earn their living. Harry could work at Tim Hortons. He'd get free coffee.

The only good thing I can think of this whole farce is that I now have a really good argument to convince my British wife to move to Montreal: "See? Even the Royals think England sucks!"

Adam said...

Kick out Granny Windsor and crown your new King and Queen.

jono said...

30 somethings moving out of the house and wanting to make their own way??? Most families would rejoice!

Hena Tayeb said...

haha! I'm looking forward to see how it all works out..
She will go back to acting? She only ever had one successful show.. he can do what? I don't know.. oh well.. to each there own.

Joanne Noragon said...

And we know you will give us a full accounting, one day soon.

the walking man said...

Not to be contrarian but that Cat tax will not be lessened if the country provides security for the once royal couple.

My aunt lived in the high tone section of Ottawa for near 80 years, When Maggie divorced Pierre she moved into a house down the street with her child Justin. Perhaps the once royals should have that same level of security Mags had. One pretty big fella that could have been a guard or a lover--hey it was the early 80's when business and pleasure freely mixed.

This N That said...

HAHAHA...I should be such a poor urchin...me thinks HRH needs to find another charity..

holli said...

This is awesome!! I do wish the best for the NonRoyals. My check is in the mail now. It is postdated so please don't cash until then.

Ol'Buzzard said...

Forty million can only last so long; and then what?
My donation is in the mail.
the Ol'Buzzard

Willym said...

Loved the post but you know I'm honestly puzzled by some of the comments? A few times there I thought I had stumbled on the CBC News web page.

Bea said...

The Bob and Doug political cartoon made me chuckle.

Rommy said...

*giggle* Well I suppose it's to be expected that royalty looks out for royalty.

Personally I think it's great they're breaking away. And I may have even swooned a little at the idea of the prince supporting his wife so she wouldn't be exposed to racist BS.

But you aren't wrong either. If they're going to make a clean break, then they don't need to burden other countries with their upkeep. I'm sure clever kids like them will land on their feet without financial help from Canadian taxpayers.

Liz Hinds said...

I shall empty my moneybox and send the proceeds to you, HRH. It may be full of old pound coins but I'm sure they could melt them down and start again.

Magaly Guerrero said...

The poor things! I completely understand your worry and desire to help them, HRH. Tell you what, I will try to sell the entity "serving" as the current U.S. president. All proceeds will go to the couple.

Martha said...

HAHA! The photoshop with the trailer :)

No tax money!!! But they are welcome to drop in to the food bank where I volunteer :)

RO said...

I hate to see anyone be unhappy, and hope this all works out. Another great post! Hugs, RO

Polly said...

As an ardent royalist I feel sad for Harry removing himself from his family.

baili said...

haha

i enjoyed this one a lot dear Debra

all i can see that from the beginning kings and queens relied only and only on public money
they used to live luxuriously while making others starve for basics ,nothing is new here i agree that the couple should rely on their 40 millions this time

my donation are prayers may people like this learn how to depend on their own earnings instead of others
say amen :)

CraveCute said...

The poor dears! Seriously though, I hope they have a happier life in North America. No doubt Canada will be kinder to them.

Fundy Blue said...

I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Harry, because of the tragic loss of his mother when he was so young. I do wish Megan and him well. But I have to admit I'm flummoxed at the thought that they have to pay back $3,000,000 of British taxpayer money for renovations to their cottage. I guess I don't understand the needs of the wealthy regarding renovations. I'm usually with you, HRH, but this time I'm not. I'm glad to hear that Debra fires off letters to Trudeau. I've been firing off letters to my representatives and senators. I'd like to know what we've spent on carting Trump to and from his golf course, not to mention his family all around the world. I wonder how many US taxpayer dollars have gone into "renovating" Mar-a-Lago and other Trump properties. I'm sure $3 million pales by comparison.

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! I can't stop laughing! LOL! HRH, I think you will be getting some cat treats out of this! LOL!
HRH, you should let Debra know, Harry could have been one of my relatives! Back in 2007, he was with a girl in one of Calgary's clubs. That one girl was a distant cousin of mine! I couldn't believe in the news when they said, "Miss Cymbalisty". We all started laughing! LOL! Big Hugs!

nonnie9999 said...

Perfect!!

The Captain said...

Chip in and get your own spin off royal family. They've been sponging off us for long enough.