Teh Ten Commanments of Ceiling Cat

An Ceiling Cat say: Mozus, I be too lazyz to be rytin on stownz so yooz hamerz my wordz on da stownz. So Mozus cut stownz an brung dem in hiz pawz in da morningz up da litter mount. Ceiling Cat got dere ina clowd and meowed hiz own name reel lowd. He floated in fronta Mozus meowin: Ceiling Cat is nice, slow ta growl, gives lotsa cheezburgerz, chillz out an duzzint sweat da small stuff. But, he gives da lazer eye to bad peeps kittenz, litter after litter. Watch yer bak! An lissen up: dese are teh Ten Commanments of Ceiling Cat --

1. I iz Ceiling Cat.
2. Ceiling Cat comz 1st.
3. Don' lissen to Basement Cat.
4. Don' use mai name to do eveil tings.
5. Remember Caturday n keepz it lazy.
6. Drive ur hoomin as crazy as possibl.
7. Don' kill. Unless hoomin makez u dress up.
8. Don' cheat n hook up wit crazy kitteh down teh street.
9. Don' lie. Unless u has to.
10. Don' steel. Jus take stuff wiffout permishun an put it back b4 they kno.

[Compiled and adapted from various sources on teh interwebs. Blessed be da teechins of Ceiling Cat.]